Cheers

****HAPPY NEW YEAR****

to you all.

Thanks for visiting KAZ throughout the year....
... and making the comments box the best part of the blog.

*****

Hope you get lots of affection next year ....

.. and may all your hangovers be little ones.

(Pictures stolen from here)

Love
KAZ
XXX

Stupid J Person

I shall not be making any New Year's resolutions .

Instead, I shall be making two resolutions for SJP.

They are ..

1: Stop saying STUPID things
2: Stop wearing STUPID things

SJP was the star of Sex in the City - I saw one episode. She has been in a few films - most of them called things like 'More Sex in the City' or ... 'Meaningless Mirthless Romcom' with Hugh Grant playing Hugh Grant .

So Sarah ....

NO 1 RESOLUTION:

* Stop saying STUPID things.

Sarah confided recently to GRAZIA magazine that she's finding it tough being a working mother. Sarah and hubby Mathew Broderick have a seven year old son and baby twin daughters born in June 2009.

Four weeks after the birth SJP started filming 'Sex in the City' (sequel) in New York often not getting home until 4am. Immediately after this she flew half way round the globe to film in Morocco. During all this she made visits to London and other cities to promote her new fillum'

"It's horrible being separated from my children" said Sarah - "but I just don't have a choice".

Don't have a CHOICE?!"??#*!!?!

Well actually Sarah - you do.

You could:
(a) not have babies
or
(b) take a career break and spend some of the earnings from your range of perfumes ...

...with appropriate advertising pictures

I haven't been a hardline, diehard, unpopular, card carrying feminist for 40 years so that you could just piss off and do exactly as you like, earn a massive fortune and then get paid more money to moan about it.

Do it if you must - then SHUT UP.

Oh and talking of CHOICE. These unfortunate brats (the twins) were the children of a surrogate mum.

*??CHOICE??*

NO 2 RESOLUTION:

* Stop wearing STUPID things.

You may remember this monstrosity.
There are many more
KAZ

Present tense

Kev and I had already sorted our pre planned, non surprise, sensible presents.

Mine was a minor consumer durable - cheap but flashy.
His was a padded parka from TK Max.

After yesterday's food, drink and festivities we approached the opening of our surprise presents with frenzied excitement....I should know better.

Why does experience never triumph over hope?

Present no1: How chic!!

They will certainly be relegated now.

no2: Everton Diary.
N.B. You may recall that Everton is the favourite team of my head not of my heart.

no3: Book on Beatles with every thought they had about every track they ever recorded and every chord they played. OK everyone of my age likes the Beatles but I drifted away.
Guess who's still a big fan.

no4: Book of politician quotes such as:

Tony Blair in1997 - "One reason I changed the Labour Party is so that we can remain true to our principles."

Her Majesty the Queen in St Petersburg 1994 - "Manchester is not such a nice place."

And my favourite ... Cyril Smith in 1985 discussing immigrants. - "I had sixteen of them for lunch at the House of Commons."

Here's that picture for the third time.
Did you get some good ones?
KAZ

In the MOOD

OK - I'm in the mood now - a bit.

It must be the poinsettia which cost me two quid from Tesco .

So - what shall we choose for this year's Christmas song?

Noddy went down well in 2007.

But last year you were very rude about Mud, except for NiC who is a chap with immaculate taste.

So - what about Elton?

He's a very fair minded chap, after all he's been married to both a man and a woman. And he could rock with the best of them when he wasn't Candling in the Wind.

So here we go* ...



very happy holiday to you all ..
from KAZ.

(Next year - David Essex).
*Video has stopped playing - it was violated by zIggI.

Aversion Therapy.

I must be one of the few people to lose weight over Christmas.

Those pictures of the rich Festive Fayre are not for me.

Photographs of "Taste the Difference assorted mince pies, duck liver pâté with pork sandwiched between two layers of pork pâté de campagne, Camembert and cranberry pastry parcels, Ecclefechan tarts, roast potatoes in goose fat, red cabbage with blueberries and balsamic vinegar, La truffe graisse dole and Norfolk Black turkey" in Sainsbury's festive food booklet just make me long for a nice piece of toast.

So I thought looking at these retro food adverts might have the same effect on you.
You'll thank me when you climb on the scales on New Year's day.
[click for extra aversion]

This is Salad??? It looks like we should serve it with blancmange - does blancmange still exist?

Is this better?

Velveeta ? This looks like the contents of an angler's tin on the canal bank. It's alive.


Do you like peas?

You could always use a tin of Pedigree chum or Whiskas for this one.

IKEA meatballs are served with chips, but BOY-AR-DEE meatballs are accompanied by 2 cubic litres of mash potato.

I always put the weight back on in January - comfort eating pizza and vanilla slices.
KAZ

KAZ's Top Ten

At this time of year lazy journalists are inclined to reduce the entire welter of human experience into endless top tens. Or so said Marina Hyde last Saturday.

So why should lazy bloggers be any different?

Top Ten people of 2009 .... by KAZ
**************************************

• Gordon Brown .... for not giving up

• Morrissey .... for not giving up

• Michelle Obama - still dignified - but it's about time you showed us how smart you are.

• Kate Moss - still bad and beautiful at 35.

• Tim Howard - goalkeeper for Everton and USA. He saved a last minute penalty from Jermain Defoe (Spurs) last week and (with a little help from the team) held the mighty Chelsea to a draw this Saturday.

• Duncan Jones - for ditching daddy's famous name and being successful in his own right. We still love dad as well.

Russell Tovey - centre below. He's the History Boy who made us love werewolves.

• The Arsène Wenger look-alike who stacks the wine shelves in Tesco. A pity he can't pronounce Côtes du Rhône but he's lovely anyway.

• Danny Boyle and his dad for bringing fame to Radcliffe.

• Don Draper - we want a new series please.

Please feel free to disagree with - or add to - my list.
KAZ

Introvert or Extrovert?

The BBC schedules are dominated by Alan Bennett at the moment.
I love Alan - but you can have too much of a good thing.

Apparently, he is a deeply shy man who has always had a desire to entertain. Surprisingly this is a paradox found in many performers.

Take Dave for instance - too shy to go to the gardeners' club but jumps willingly into the pulpit every Sunday and knocks 'em for six.

I'm a bit similar - often tongue tied in social situations but a shameless show off in the lab/classroom in front of a receptive audience. And you should have seen me in the staff panto.

I would describe myself as an introvert.

An introvert is not necessarily shy, or misanthropic. Introverts just find other people tiring except in small doses. They would rather shell peas than make small talk.

An introvert would not do well on 'I'm a Celebrity' or 'Big Bother'

In complete contrast, extroverts are energized by people, and wilt when alone.

Leave an extrovert alone for two minutes and s/he will reach for the mobile. They assume that company is always a good thing and refuse to believe that someone would want or even need to be alone.

I read about it here.

Introverts are not considered "naturals" in politics. Contrast Richard Nixon with Bill Clinton and Gordon Brown with Tony Blair.

Modern attitudes say "people person" = good, but "loner" = serial killer.

So extroverts dominate social and public life.

What about you?
And would you change?
KAZ

Ripping Yarns

I don't read things carefully enough and often get the wrong end of the stick.
But in the latest Radio Times it said 'Sahara with Michael Palin'.

My heart missed a beat. Surely not.


Oh No - I can't even bear to think of it.
KAZ

Location Location Location

Gerald Gee typed his address into Google IMAGES and got this nice surprise.

So I gave it a go - but I didn't so do well.

First I tried the house where Kev and I enjoyed 8 years of uninterrupted, blissful cohabitation during the eighties.

FIRST picture on the list is shown above ....
...and this was the second.


So then I tried my previous house. I typed in Westbourne Grove Manchester and this was FIRST.

And this:


So I typed Manchester, Westbourne Grove - same thing. Why is Google so metropolis centred?

But when I tried ordinary (not images) Google, I discovered that the house (or one very similar) is up for sale for an obscene sum of money. I wasn't too bothered - I refuse to see a home as an investment opportunity. I moved when I moved because I wanted to move. I never regretted it.

Finally, I tried my old house in Cheadle Hulme. The Jazz fan and I moved here by mistake thinking we were on the doorstep of the city. I had moved straight from student flat to an aspirational suburb and hated it.

Here's the FIRST pic. Shabby chic?

But no 1 pic for my childhood home looks rather idyllic and Enid Blyton.

(N.B. That's the lock keeper's cottage - I lived up t'road.)

I actually remember when those barges carried coal. It wasn't until a few years ago that the area had a facelift and became the destination for Sunday trippers and narrowboat holiday makers.

I might make a sentimental journey - but probably not.
KAZ