THE MEASURE

‘THE MEASURE’ for young pensioners

(With apologies to Weekend Guardian)

Going Up:

Stannah Chair lifts

Brian Sewell
Tooo POSH, but strangely wonderful. Gives old gits a good name

H&M, Primark, River Island, New Look
Too good to waste on the under sixties.

Free to view
Excellent entertainment for nowt, forget SKY

CAVA
Celebrate for less than 4 quid a bottle

Going Down:

Stannah Chair lifts
Well you can’t stay upstairs all day can you?

Face lifts
What goes up must come down

Jogging
Wobbly jowls? Not attractive

I’m a celebrity….
We’ve had one slimy creature too many!

Junk Food
If Kate Moss can give up cocaine, you can stop eating cream cakes