COLOURS

Have you looked at the Dulux colour chart recently? You won’t find blue, yellow or green. But you will find Utopia, Waffle, Crave, Lulu and Pashmina. I’m not making it up!

We didn’t have colours in the fifties - everything was in black and white.

Gradually we discovered shades like charcoal grey, olive green and donkey brown. Later on, strawberry pink, burnt orange and african violet sent us into paroxysms of excitement. I’ve always loved Smarties.

Anyone choosing a colour now would be reminded of Buridan’s ass who, when asked to choose between 2 bales of hay, starved to death. That’s why I always wear black, white or grey.

Lots of chemistry is colourful - especially the transition metal compounds - cobalt blue, nickel green, chrome yellow. I used to encourage my students to describe the colours creatively.

One year the A level examiners’ report said - and I quote - ‘The colours of the rainbow will suffice. Candidates should not be encouraged to use such terms as burgundy, aubergine or urine coloured in their answers’. It was obviously written by a bunch of sad lads wearing smelly Harris tweed jackets with test tubes sticking out of the pockets.

I won’t say more on the subject of Chemistry examiners.
They could teach Bill Oddie’s badgers how to pick nits!
KAZ