Monday, September 11, 2006

TORY BLAIR

blair-blowing

I emerged from my mother’s womb hating Tories.

But Tony Blair didn’t. We all know that he only entered politics because no one would have him in their rock band. Or maybe it was because he wanted to get between the sheets with the lovely Cherie.

In 1994 we thought he was a nice sort of bloke so we voted him in. Diana’s death turned him into the ‘People’s prime minister’.

Left wing pinko Old Labour types like me didn’t approve, but ‘hey’ it was better than the Tories and you had to give the lad credit for achieving what Neil Kinnock couldn’t.

As well as being New Labour Tony tries to be a ‘new man’ who always lubricates Cherie’s vibrator before use (see pic).

I never trusted him - his story reminded me of one of those Jane Austen characters who ponders for years on whether to be a vicar or an MP regardless of religious or any other beliefs.

We all hate Tony now but surely it’s time to grit our teeth again.

Vast numbers of non political persons who read the Daily Mail/Express, Times, Woman’s Weekly etc… will like Cameron’s smile, compost heap and bicycle and say ‘let’s have a change’. How many crap governments have been voted in because people ‘fancied a change’? For God’s sake, go and see the Blackpool illuminations if you’re so bored.

I have a hunch that Gordon won’t be next. His moment seems to have passed. In the words of Ray Davies we are ‘Tired of Waiting’. But whoever the new leader is we must give support to keep Cameron out. Unless it’s Ruth Kelly of course.

But please just let’s keep quiet about hating Tony for a bit and save our energy to speak up against the Tories. They are still the same old Tories. Cameron is rich, went to Eton and belongs to the same Mayfair club as Prince Charles. Even though his very rich wife has a tattoo on her ankle, he is a patronizing privileged git who hasn’t got a clue about people like thee and me.

KAZ

28 Comments:

Blogger Gareth said...

Hear hear. It scares me that so many people forget what the current giovt has done for them them which has benefitd their lives. Ok theire may be a lot of crap in the mix but if it had been Major, Hague, Dunacn Smith or Howard there would be a hell of a lot more of the icky stuff.

10:18 pm  
Anonymous emma said...

I remember hating Tony from day one. I never fell for that New Labour twaddle. Frankly, I found him scary, with that horrid fake smile and eyes that burned with mischief and evil. I knew he would end up making a prat of himself, and he has.

2:01 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Gareth: 'Crap in the mix' is a good way to put it - Cameron would give us 100% crap on a bike.

Emma: Hmmn -so you're not a fan of Tony then!?

8:09 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Since New Labour seems to have become what Old Tory used to be, and T. Blair the successor of M. Thatcher; look what they've done to the Liberal party!; what on earth is left for the Tories to represent? Corruption is almost compulsory for whoever's in power (the clue's in the last word).
And anyway none of them EVER do what they promise at election time - no wonder people are losing interest in party politics.

8:17 am  
Anonymous NiC said...

Sadly changes in power are almost always about boredom with the status quo.

Even so I am stunned that so many seem to fall for Cameron... he's just New Tony. But just as much of a Tory git.

10:06 am  
Blogger Betty said...

The time I ever even consider voting Tory will be the time when someone should send me to the gallows.

I just COULDN'T. I know New Labour has its faults, but ... NO.

10:27 am  
Anonymous emma said...

I don't care for him one way or the other. I've never voted in my life, choosing between the Tories and Labour is like choosing between cat shit and cat puke. Judge me if you will. But I couldn't with any concience vote for any of them.

11:11 am  
Blogger Saffyre said...

I'll never vote Tory while there's breath in my body.

I don't actually hate Tony Blair either, he has made some mistakes but would he make any mistakes another politician wouldn't?

I'm not really into Politics to be honest, but his wife Cherie bugs me more than he does.

12:55 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

I'm always really impressed with Blair when I see him in front of studio audiences. He's like a well-heeled consultant who knows exactly the best pills you should take for your ailment. I can't disagree with anything he says.

Then I see the body count rise and...

On the ITV News last night, the newsreader was in New York...

"In Afghanistan, British soldiers are risking their lives fighting the war which started here 5 years ago."

As if 9/11 was Germany invading Poland all over again.

If the Tories were in they'd suck up to Bush just as much as New Labor have. But have they changed that much from the eighties lot who declared war on the British working class?

Cameron can stick his bicycle saddle up his arse.



Crap diatribe over.

1:00 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Stitchwort: If the libs had stuck with Charles Kennedy and insisted he went to the AA meetings it might have led to a split vote which would have let Cameron in.
So, speaking pragmatically (still not certain what that means)it's probably for the best.

Nic: People have such short memories and probably just read Heat magazine.
I bet thousands were convinced by that April 1st spoof in the Guardian with Chris Martin.

Betty: I'll gladly go down with you. But it'll never happen.

Emma: Sorry, but if we don't vote they will take the right to vote away from us. And then what?

Saffyre: As long as you don't vote Tory - you know enough about politics.

Geoff: Phew! You said it all.
Name one Tory who spoke out against the war like Robin Cook did.

4:27 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Heh, heh, yes!

An April Fool joke?

But I binned all my Coldplay albums after reading that! ;)

6:42 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

...the word verification thingy just called me sfexy! That's the closest I've got to a real word out of it.

Yihazhi this time...

6:44 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hi sfexy nic: The Chris Martin (4X4 driver) thing fooled me for a bit -like 'Dave' is fooling lots of people.
Word verification - I never get it right first time.

7:11 pm  
Blogger coolbuddha said...

Putting to one side the international issues (which are quite megga), anyone of the left/left of centre/liberal who cannot appreciate the Government's domestic achievements is either: a) stupid; b) naive; c) Revolutionary Marxist or d) a closet Tory. For example - £10 billion for poor families; civil partnerships; Human Rights Act, etc, etc,...How easily we forget what went before.

9:44 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Coolbuddha: Yes - the public equates the government with Tony Blair. Thanks for pointing out some of the achievements where New labour is not so out of touch with Old labour.

10:05 pm  
Blogger lee said...

kaz - it becomes obvious that the man for the job over there has to be.....Michael Palin ;).

12:19 am  
Blogger Lubin said...

What you said.

7:57 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Lee: Lovely, but too nice.

Lubin: Yeah!

8:16 am  
Blogger The Murphmeister said...

Robin Cook, ah yes. Conviction politicians brave enough to go against the flow like him and Tony Benn are few and far between sadly.
We end up with Politicians with convictions.
T. Bliar is a smug, pompous public school git who colluded in the most foolish and chanciest gunboat diplomacy since the Falklands. And as for his croquet playing buffoon of a deputy....

4:00 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

I'm sorry to break this to you Murph, but dogs can't vote.
Never mind - it's really good to have you on our side.
Tony Benn was in Manchester last week still spreading the message.

7:04 pm  
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