TORY BLAIR

I emerged from my mother’s womb hating Tories.

But Tony Blair didn’t. We all know that he only entered politics because no one would have him in their rock band. Or maybe it was because he wanted to get between the sheets with the lovely Cherie.

In 1994 we thought he was a nice sort of bloke so we voted him in. Diana’s death turned him into the ‘People’s prime minister’.

Left wing pinko Old Labour types like me didn’t approve, but ‘hey’ it was better than the Tories and you had to give the lad credit for achieving what Neil Kinnock couldn’t.

As well as being New Labour Tony tries to be a ‘new man’ who always lubricates Cherie’s vibrator before use (see pic).

I never trusted him - his story reminded me of one of those Jane Austen characters who ponders for years on whether to be a vicar or an MP regardless of religious or any other beliefs.

We all hate Tony now but surely it’s time to grit our teeth again.

Vast numbers of non political persons who read the Daily Mail/Express, Times, Woman’s Weekly etc… will like Cameron’s smile, compost heap and bicycle and say ‘let’s have a change’. How many crap governments have been voted in because people ‘fancied a change’? For God’s sake, go and see the Blackpool illuminations if you’re so bored.

I have a hunch that Gordon won’t be next. His moment seems to have passed. In the words of Ray Davies we are ‘Tired of Waiting’. But whoever the new leader is we must give support to keep Cameron out. Unless it’s Ruth Kelly of course.

But please just let’s keep quiet about hating Tony for a bit and save our energy to speak up against the Tories. They are still the same old Tories. Cameron is rich, went to Eton and belongs to the same Mayfair club as Prince Charles. Even though his very rich wife has a tattoo on her ankle, he is a patronizing privileged git who hasn’t got a clue about people like thee and me.
KAZ