Sunday, October 15, 2006

The Romance of Proctology.


I’m not very good at talking about - you know - scatological stuff.

In fact I only found out what that word meant when Geoff left a comment on a recent post. Previously, I thought it had something to do with that jazz singing they did in the fifties.

I rush to hide behind the settee whenever the lovely Dr. Gillian puts her mask on.

mj mentioned a Proctologist. This word was new to me - so - I googled it. But I typed it as ‘protocologist’, which is ‘one who drafts protocols’ so I was no nearer.

Anyway, I love coincidences and the day after mj’s post I read an article in the Guardian about ‘The man who got to the bottom of romance’. This referred to Charles Elton Blanchard’s 1938 classic ‘The Romance of Proctology’. It was a sort of Heat magazine of celebrity proctologists. The opening sentence is ‘No one knows who was the first doctor to examine the rectal orifice of the human frame’.

Amazingly, young Chas wrote TWENTY books on the subject of proctology. He is also a great fan of Dr William Allingham who was the first doc to insert his whole hand into the rectum!

Enough of that.


The info for the Guardian article came from the editor of the Monthly magazine ‘Annals of Improbable research’ - correct spelling I presume.

By yet another coincidence this cropped up on yesterday's ‘Have I got news for you’.

The Ignoble prize for Medicine had been won by a guy who wrote a paper entitled ‘Termination of Intractable Hiccups with Digital Rectal Massage’.

Paul Merton loved it.

Their website is a bit disappointing apart from the LFHCfS (Luxuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists).

Remember Denzil Dexter in the Fast Show?

PROCTOLOGIST
KAZ

14 Comments:

Blogger The Murphmeister said...

You Bipeds!
You're all just fascinated with your own bottoms!

PS I'm with you on scatalogical. I thought it was a really organized way of planting seeds.

7:34 pm  
Blogger Beth said...

Reading that, I've come over a bit faint.

Usually only happens with talk of impaling.

8:19 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Murph: At least bipeds don't need to be followed by an owner with a plastic bag - well only sometimes.

Beth: Let's have a sit down. We'll save impaling for next week.

11:59 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Yo, good scatting there cool cat Kaz... nice ;)

9:11 am  
Blogger Geoff said...

I remember Denzil Dexter with fondness. It wasn't that long ago yet it seems like a different era when sketch shows didn't batter you over the head with their humour.

1:35 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

You don't know how proud I am at this moment for inspiring this post. I'm sure Geoff feels the same.

3:50 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Nic: Hey Dude! Scatological is just too KOOL a word for its definition - Dontcha think?

Geoff: Denzil was lovely.
In fact the Fast Show was good - it had good characters with memorable catch phrases and set pieces.
'Which was nice'

mj: I acknowledge my role models with respect.

Did you feel inhibited? Given the scatological topic - I would have expected something a bit smuttier.

6:29 pm  
Blogger Heather said...

I came back to your blog to put a comment on the Alan Bennett post..erm not quite sure what to say to this one. Very amusing.

Btw, thank you very much for the link, that's very nice of you.

6:52 pm  
Blogger Gary James said...

We used to have this bully at school who'd shout out, "Just you wait - I'll fist you when I gerrolda ya!"

Of course we all thought he meant that he would punch us in the face, but now we know his real intentions.

8:46 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Heather: You're welcome.

Alan will have been gutted to have missed you!

However, I find that people often leave comments on past posts. I usually find them eventually and it's a nice surprise.

Oh No Gary: I'm sure he was a very sweet boy really. Perhaps he'd just seen that Clint Eastwood film and wanted to give you a 'Fist full of dollars'.

9:28 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Absolutely Kaz, way too kool.

8:38 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

nic: Trust you to have the last word.

7:26 pm  
Blogger coolbuddha said...

That Dr Gillian does seem to have an unhealthy interest in matters, well, erm, pooh. I feel like writing a letter of complaint every time I watch her. Outrageous - can't wait for the next series.

4:59 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

coolbuddha: Trust you to lurk about down here in the unsavoury parts of my blog.

6:44 pm  

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