Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Sara Lee

julie vita

Here’s some good news.
A few years ago I discovered ‘Vitapointe’, a product that had been around for ever (see advert with young Julie Andrews). I became Vitapointe’s greatest fan.

Now here’s some bad news.
I was all dressed up and ready to go out when I decided apply some of my favourite hair product. It was a brand new tube.

I squeezed - but none emerged. Why?? Because all the Viatapointe had ejaculated from the wrong end of the tube … and it was now all over my clothes.

After saying ‘Dear me’ - I changed my outfit.

The following day I wrote a restrained letter to ‘Sara Lee’ - owner of Vitapointe.

I was fair. I said that, although my jeans would probably be OK with a hot wash, my jacket would need dry cleaning. I declared my undying devotion to the product.

More bad news:
Ms Rebecca Addison (Customer Relations Administrator) replied immediately. The gist: So concerned to hear this ….blah …must investigate further…blah ... Please forward the leaking tube and all the items of clothing to us!

WHAT??

Oh YES - like I’m going to go and buy special packing, string and sealing wax and take for ever making a parcel. How long would I be separated from my favourite jacket? What would they do with it?


I sent off the offending tube (they did give a freepost address). I explained at some length why I did not feel able to pack up the contents of my wardrobe and send them off into the unknown,
saraapllepie600
More bad news.
Letter arrived containing Voucher for £2. TWO measly miserly QUID! A tube of vitapointe costs £2.19. So I’m already n-n-n-nineteen pence down and no compensation for inconvenience, time, dry cleaning bills, postage, packing, stress, blood pressure monitor.

I’m about to write again using phrases such as ‘insulting offer’ ‘valuing customers’ ‘Because I’m worth it’ etc.

Or is it just a waste of time?

Anyone got a favourite hair product I could change to?

KAZ

25 Comments:

Anonymous NiC said...

What does this hair product do exactly Kaz?

In the days of punk rock when I used to bleach my hair until it fell out I used a very cheap product that came in a pink box. 79p it was I seem to recall.
That was until I discovered the hydrogen peroxide in the lab in which I worked.

Looking for some cheap and powerful hair bleach for eldest daughter recently I was shocked to find there don't appear to be any really cheap and harsh bleaching products any more.

Is the Sara Lee Apple pie filling the same product you put on your hair?

7:01 pm  
Blogger coolbuddha said...

Hi Kaz,
Sorry I didn't call round for a drink. What a missed opportunity! But Manchester is great.

7:29 pm  
Blogger Gary James said...

I used a school bully, who simply gobbed in my hair until it was a dark, greyish green colour. Quick and convenient for the busy modern nerd, and a guaranteed hit down the Chess Club!

7:29 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

nic: Were you working in the lab late one night? Good old H2O2.
I think modern products are just as drastic, they just have nicer Pics on the front - it's stuff like Vitapointe that put back the shine - a bit like Brylcreem for Laydees.
Sara Lee bought the company.

Hi Coolbuddha: Glad you liked Manchester. No tories here you know.

Gary:Thanks for the useful tip - I've finished throwing up now and hope to be able to face food again tomorrow.

9:22 pm  
Blogger Heather said...

I've never heard of this stuff, it adds shine?

That Dream Hair stuff by C Worthington is v good.

Maybe if you complain enough they will send you one of their "delicous" pies.

9:56 pm  
Blogger The Murphmeister said...

I hope you didn't use the word "ejaculate" in your letter of complaint. Rebecca Addison may have gone onto high alert asking you to post all your clothes to her.

10:00 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Heather: I don't like to admit it, but It really does make your hair behave itself as well as adding shine. I hope Rebecca Addison doesn't read my blog.
Thanks for the tip - I like Mr Worthington - does he still make beer?

Murph: Down boy Down!
I don't think I used the word, but 'spurted' or 'emitted' might have had a similar effect.

10:35 pm  
Blogger Anxious said...

I've seen that stuff - was taken by its "old school" packaging, but I never got as far as buying any. Maybe I will now. See, the power of blogging!

But I never really liked those pathetic chocolate gateaux. They look so sumptuous on the box, but are actually tiny once you get them out.

11:07 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

You only need a tiny amount so a tube lasts for ever.
But wait a minute, shouldn't we be organising a boycott? Just imagine what I could have done with that 19pence.

8:34 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Charles Worthington's no-flake shampoo does it for me. They used to do a good mousse too, to make flat hair lift up a bit, but that seems to have been discontinued.

anx - one of life's hard early lessons is that the picture on the food package only has a faint passing similarity to the contents. The words "fraud" and "misrepresentation" are very close to "advertising", it seems.

8:35 am  
Blogger The Murphmeister said...

Noel Edmonds also looks sumptuous on the box but is actually tiny and artificial when you get him out.

8:40 am  
Blogger Anxious said...

Murph - you find Noel Edmonds sumptuous? Strange, very strange...

8:51 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

stitchwort: This Charles Worthingto guy is very popular.
Whatever happened to the Trades Descriptions act?

Murph: At least Sara Lee cakes don't look oily, slimy and unctious.

Anx: No, I think it must be Mr. P who likes Noel. Murph is far too sensible.

9:04 am  
Blogger Betty said...

A curse on Rebecca Addison, the witch!

I have tried Vitapointe, but then I've tried virtually every hair product in Superdrug at some point, convinced that it'll end up turning stupid, frizzy flyaway hair into bouncy, shiny hair. They never do.

If you're looking for a conditioning product, Care And Repair Leave In Cream by Sunsilk is pretty good for combating dry hair in a similar way to Vitapointe, plus it's in a bottle so there's less potential for an unfortunate leakage incident. It's usually on the shelves with their shampoos and is in the orange bottle.

9:12 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Betty: Thanks for the curse on Rebecca - she needs retraining - perhaps for the counter at the benefits agency.
I will definitely try the orange bottle - will it 'Care and Repair' my face as well do you think?

10:38 am  
Blogger MJ said...

As an uninformed teen (as opposed to my current state of uninformed adult) I read that adding olive oil to your hair would add sheen. Keen on the idea, I poured a cup of extra virgin over my scalp. Ahem. Apparently, one teaspoon was the amount required. 3 days later I was still an oily mess.

3:14 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

mj: Speaking of 'oily messes' I don't suppose you get Noel Edmonds in Canada do you?.
Glad it was extra virgin - nothing but the best is good enough for you.

5:02 pm  
Blogger Heather said...

I will have to try some of this stuff then, after you've sorted the problem out with the tube that is..is it from Boots?

9:55 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Heather - your hair looks great anyway.
You can buy the stuff in Asda, Tesco, Boots etc. but don't tell Rebecca 'cos we're supposed to be organising a boycott

9:56 am  
Anonymous Wormbrain said...

I really hope you used the word "ejaculated" in your letter.

4:36 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Sorry to disappoint you Worm - but I have sent an e mail to Rebecca Addison and invited her over read of this post.

So watch this space!

I love your blog.

9:50 am  
Blogger DellaB said...

I remember Vitapointe from a very long time ago, it was the only thing that did tame friz into shine in those days - I didn't realise it was still around, but maybe not down here? We do have Sara Lee ...

12:23 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

dellab: Viatapointe is very hard to find. Although it's readily available in chemists and supermarkets, it's always tucked away somewhere inconspicuous.
The packaging is subtle which makes it even harder to see.

Although I'm angry about the customer service, I would still recommend you to seek it out.

7:29 pm  
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