Wednesday, October 04, 2006

Something for Everyone

Does ‘baps’ mean ‘breasts’ by any chance? It’s a barm cake in Manchester.

Why do I ask? Well a searcher found his way to my blog looking for ‘bapwatch carol’. I was mystified but research led me to this Carol Vorderman pic which I’d stolen for a previous post. I used to like Carol a lot until she let me down with that that turquoise frock and the money ads.

Well this ‘Bapwatch’ guy knows exactly what he likes.
Women on the telly. He takes their photographs directly from the screen and that’s about it.

His tastes are eclectic- but I detect that they are mostly ‘Afternoon delight’ - especially Carol. Could this be because his missus female partner is out at work? Or perhaps it’s his mum

So what have we got apart from Carol?

Who’s this georgeous black and white creature?

I absolutely loved Tiswas and my students said I looked like her - Who knows - she might look like me by now. She’s 56.

Here’s where the baps come in.

Go and visit - it’s not only baps - there’s something for everyone.


Blogger Geoff said...

Americans get Baywatch.

We get Bapwatch.

Almost makes me feel patriotic.

1:35 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

I thought for a minute that it was you in the photo, until I clicked on it and found out that it was Judi Dench.

Are there any other sites dedicated to what would at first seem to be products found in a bakery shop - Bloomerwatch, for example?

2:32 pm  
Blogger Anxious said...

It says at the bottom of the page:

"bap - In British English, a type of floury soft bread roll, a bit like a hamburger bun. Used affectionately to describe breasts. "

4:34 pm  
Blogger Gary James said...

Me to woman in bakers: "Do you have floury baps?"

Woman in bakers: "I do if he doesn't wash his hands!"

Me: "Go on then, show us your bloomers!"

Her: "Enough bread puns. Leave now before I call the police. Again."

4:49 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

geoff - yes well that's great - but I'm glad you said 'almost'.
I hope you'd choose our Carol rather than their Pamela.

Betty: No I'm Sally James - well O.K. I was.
I can't think of any puns for baguette or large white sliced.

Anx: Yes you are quite right.
I never could be bothered to read the small print. That's probably what's got me where I am today.

Ooh Gary - you are naughty .... but I like you!
I promise not to mention crumpets.

10:07 pm  
Blogger The Murphmeister said...

You can't beat a nice sweet tart, a little honey, the occasional muffin ... or a merangue?

Anyway it's so nice that the internet lets us keep abap of these important matters.

9:53 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

*the occasional muffin*.
I own a pic of myself as a small child sitting on Muffin the Mule.
For some strange reason I innocently mentioned this to a group of lads who laughed for about 3 days at my expense.

10:38 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Those barm cakes sound quite a lot like the North East stottie cakes - a flat sort of soft loaf originally baked at the bottom of the oven, and made of the left-over dough from the main baking.
AArgh...I mentioned "bottom", and I was trying to be sensible and no double-entendres.

12:33 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Stitchwort: Your stottie cakes sound delicious. They are probably what we call 'oven bottoms'.
There is a bottom on Bapwatch - but I think it's Barbara Windsor - so probably best not to go there.

6:14 pm  
Blogger Gareth said...

You can't beat a nice floury bap with a bowl of soup. Unfortunately these days you just get small rather tough white rolls made by Kingsmill.

When I was much younger, in my University days, there used to be a bread product supplier in Cardiff known as the Bap Factory.

8:46 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Gareth - Surely it can't be very long since you left university!

7:50 am  
Anonymous NiC said...

Mrs.Planarchy mentions barm cakes sometimes (she spent part of her youf in Madchester).... I wonder if she makes these things up until I hear/see "real" world examples :)

9:28 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

I suppose you mean real world examples of barm cakes and not 'baps'.
Now in Yorkshire they really do have strange names for bakery products. I still don't really know what a 'pikelet' is!?

9:59 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Isn't a pikelet a sort of crumpet with anorexia? i.e. very thin, but with those craters all over the top.

On second thoughts, the phrase "crumpet with anorexia" is bound to be taken the wrong way, but hey, too bad...

3:50 pm  
Blogger Gareth said...

It's now 14 years since I graduiated which is quite a while ago if you ask me,

9:42 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Yes, absolutely.. real bakery products not allusionary(!) terms for other things.

Yes I think Pikelets are skinny crumpets too.... as it were.

10:35 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Stitchwort: 'Crumpet with anorexia' - I bet you stole that from the cover of HEAT magazine.

Gareth: It's all relative - it's *quite a while* since I graduated as well.

Nic: Allusary - what a good word.
Is 'skinny crumpet' an oxymoron?

3:31 pm  
Blogger Gerald England said...

Back in my Yorkshire youth my mum used to get "pikelets" but I always thought they were called "pie-clips" not to be confused with "bicycle-clips"

dear me, still got jet lag I think!

11:43 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hi Gerald: Good to see you're back.
So you're a Yorkshire chap eh?
I'll try not to let it come between us.

12:12 pm  
Blogger Gerald England said...

Well I did marry a Lancashire lass and now we live in Cheshire.

I sometimes tell people we grow "pink roses" in our garden but actually all that grows is weeds!

5:10 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Gerald: Sounds perfectly good to me. I know Hyde, like Stalybridge, is in Cheshire - but it's more Lancashire in every important respect.

8:16 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home