Friday, December 08, 2006


Driving home last night my mind was far away in a different place - like it always is when driving a lethal weapon along a busy wet main road in the semi darkness - when Steve Wright turned into Chris Evans!

To make things worse, Evans was on some sort of horrendous roadshow where the miserable inhabitants were packed into the local pub and forced at knifepoint to join in the hysterical jollifications.

But, just as my hand reached over to turn off, I heard the supreme sounds of the intro to ‘All along the Watchtower’. So I turned the volume up to a magnificent maximum.

And then (unbelievably) the loathsome Evans began to rant over the sublime sounds of Jimi’s guitar.

I was so incandescent with rage that I couldn’t enjoy the rest of the track. I remembered how I used to listen to it on the jukebox over and over again. It must have cost me pounds and pounds - and that’s old pounds worth 240pence.

I switched off and began to despise myself. Why did this get me more upset and furious that war, famine, poverty or little old ladies with hypothermia? What a shallow person I am.

I decided to play my old Bradshaws tape which always cheers me up - no CD player in an S reg ‘onda. It was so long since I’d played a cassette that I couldn’t - 1: switch it on, 2: insert the cassette or 3: make it play.

So I failed miserably and hated myself even more for being stupid and ineffectual.

I arrived home full of self-loathing.

And it’s all Chris Evan’s fault.

Why oh why didn’t we get Stuart Maconie?



Blogger Murph said...

Kaz: I can't handle even a mention of Chris Evans before 3pm!

I used to quite like his breakfast show on R1 until he started getting really arrogant. The low point was when he started publicly berating members of his "posse" for so-called "fiddling expenses" and also threatening to name builders and carpenters who failed to meet up to his exacting standards at home. Complete Arse!
Basically he disappeared up his own ego, which makes the post-Billie simpering new-man excrutiatingly grating, particularly after he so undeservedly took over from the excellent Johnny Walker.

Stuart Maconie is the best on R2 and deserves that key slot, with Evans pouring his heart out to truck drivers at 3am if he must.

Let's start a campaign - Toss out the Ginger Tosser!!!!

(sorry, it's a bit early in the day still, isn't it)

9:56 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

My God Murph - I'd love to hear you when you really get going!
Count me in.

Off to start my Christmas shopping now - oh joy!

10:10 am  
Blogger Geoff said...

I'm still none the wiser as to the Bradshaws. Is it like Andy Capp for kids?

The only dj I can stomach is Pete Tong during the 5 minute drive to ASDA.

On longer journeys we're overladen with cds. I think we'll have to take the mp3 player when we go to Cornwall next year.

1:31 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

Why does Chris Evans have to put the public through it? Why can't he just sod off and enjoy his millions?

See, I was RIGHT when I said that retirement should be reduced to 35. For disc jockeys, it should be compulsory.

1:38 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

I never liked Chris Evans. He has always seemed to be a disc jockey with no real appreciation of the music.

2:10 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

I'm an ignorant Canuck so I know little about Chris Evans but I now dislike him intensely for interfering with Jimi. Nothing must come between a woman and her Hendrix.

2:32 pm  
Blogger Gary James said...

I'm with Murph too. Johnny Walker's Drive Time was the biz.

Interestingly, Emu also went from being an arrogant, unpredictatable feral bastard, into something that kiddies quite liked.

I prefered Evans in the old days, the really old days, before I'd heard of him

I had a tape player in my Skoda that played everything at Pinky and Perky speed.

2:39 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

any DJ who talks over music should be hung by the goolies.

3:23 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Geoff: the Bradshaws are mum, dad and Billy. All the voices are done by Buzz Hawkins.
They (or he) appears on local radio. It’s one of the few things that amuses me time and time again.
I don’t know whether it would travel well.

Betty: What were the BBC thinking to pay him more millions? They even gave Murph’s mate Noel a try on the Drive Time programme.
Who is worse? - discuss.

Nic: He’s JUST a presenter really isn’t he?
I believe he learned his craft from Timmy Mallet which explains a lot.

mj: You said it babe! … No I don’t mean the ignorant Canuck bit (in this case ignorance is bliss) I mean about a woman and her Hendrix.

Gary: You should love Stuart Maconie. He’s a rock amd roll rambler from this side of the pennines.
Billy Bradshaw sounds a bit like Pinky or maybe it’s Perky.

Pete: Unless he’s a rapper of course - otherwise googlie away.

3:46 pm  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

Kaz, if you haven't yet read Stuart Maconie's Cider with Roadies, do. It's wonderful, very well written and dead funny.

5:00 pm  
Blogger stitchwort said...

The 5 pm Radio 2 programme is Nature's way of telling you to turn the wireless off and concentrate on your driving - all that rush hour traffic and, currently, dark and wetness.

6:25 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

Noel was even MORE embarrassing Kaz ... don't get me started!!!

Bring back "The Clitheroe Kid" I say. Honest Lancashire humour with "Our Alfie" and other richly drawn characters whose names escape me for the moment.

6:55 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

Stuart Maconie did the "Coast to Coast" walk in the steps of Wainwright - he is a brilliant broadcaster. I will start on my new web site this weekend and we can surf on the wave of popular revulsion at the bespectacled Ginger Pratt.

6:58 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Nora: I’ll go out and get it tomorrow.
Oh and I’ll also get round to spelling Nora correctly on the blogroll.

Stitch: Yeah: It all makes sense. So that’s why the BBC employed him.

Murph: I agree - he was much worse. But I was pleased because I thought that MUST be the end of his career. But then I thought Robbie had no future after Take That!

Perhaps the Clitheroe kid was Billy Bradshaw's role model.

I'll send Stuart an e mail.

7:36 pm  
Blogger Beth said...

I went to college with Stuart Maconie.

Although 'with' is probably implying a familiarity which never existed.

We both did film studies & 20th Century Literature though.

7:49 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

That's great Beth. You don't get many future celebrities on a Chemistry course like mine.
Stuart seems like a 100% good bloke with very good taste in music.

10:00 pm  
Blogger Beth said...

He does, doesn't he.

Oh! but I *do* remember him dancing...

11:34 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Beth: *Dancing* was the theme of his Saturday show yesterday.

3:46 pm  
Blogger toomuchgrief said...

The littel Ginger shit played Into The Valley the other day, the best intro in history was reduced to the little twats meanderings about some self centred "oh so ironic" pap. Why play the song if you don't do the intro." I am with toss the twat campaign, lets mobilise!

9:43 pm  
Blogger Beth said...

Into The Valley!


While we're on intros, 'Babylon's Burning's' not half bad either.

1:02 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hello toomuchgrief:
We can call ourselves *The Tossers*
I'm sure Beth will join as well.

4:02 pm  
Blogger Beth said...

I'll join.

Though if it comes to t-shirts I'm not sure about having "toss the twat" as a slogan. Can I have a mug instead?

8:26 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

God forbid the legend that is Steve Wright ever turns into Chris Evans!

9:18 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Steve's a star'
100% Pro!

8:44 am  

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