Monday, January 08, 2007

We need to talk about Kevin - again.

Re Kev - There have been ‘developments’.

He returned from Spain last month to find a letter from GP saying ‘Not urgent - but like to see you concerning result of blood test’.

He assumed it would be cholesterol issues.

But no - it’s liver damage … bad … but not yet irreversible.

I have referred to Kev’s intemperance many times.

His motto: ‘I know the difference between work and drink - when I’m not working I’m drinking’. Kev hasn’t worked since May 26th and supply teachers clock off at 3.30!

So far the new abstemiousness is going well. Surprisingly no withdrawal symptoms apart from extreme grumpiness.

It’s being helped by:

Recycling this old shelf into a daily chart of alcohol units injested.


Cycling for miles every day in his mid life crisis lycra outfit

Recycling his previous life as a guitar toting old fogey/folkie.


Returning to the folk clubs 20 years later, he finds all the old bearded ones solemnly drinking orange juice instead of Old Frothingslosh.

I don’t do folkie - I even get nervous if someone puts a hand over an ear - especially when wearing a polo neck jumper.

Me? I am now a secret drinker compelled to knock back a couple of large Sauvignons before we meet.

KAZ


11 Comments:

Blogger Geoff said...

I thought that chart was the price list.

Do you have to have a beard to drink Old Frothingslosh? I'm quite partial to the odd pint of real ale but if I hear folk music I cup my hands over both ears.

1:53 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

I have to say that Kev looks as if he's in very good shape despite the lycra.

Oh heck, folk music.

*shudders*

3:38 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Geoff: Real ale goes well with any music.

When consumed in large quantities with both hands over the ears it’s even possible to survive the ‘folk club’.

Betty: Reducing the calories from alcohol has helped.

A jazz fan followed by a folkie.
Where did I go wrong??

7:39 pm  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Could have been worse - he might have been an opera fan.

*ducks hail of opera glasses*

8:54 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

Leonard Cohen? Miserable old bastard? Surely not?

10:04 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Stitch: I’m a bit of a ‘Drama Queen’ so I like opera.
And - before you say it - I liked it long before the 1990 World cup and Pavarotti's Nessun Dorma!

Murph:'Miserable Old bastard' is right in the absence of vast quantities of Pinot Noir!

10:59 pm  
Blogger Señor Tronosco said...

Whats wrong with folk!?

Open-mic-folk-night, a pint of Braggot Mead served by a maiden with big jugs, a bearded bloke in the corner cranking his hurdy gurdy...So now it's Orange Juice!

Is the Rock'n'Roll now out of Folk too?

10:25 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

señor:
I'm afraid the Rock'n'Roll is even out of Rock'n'Roll now.

And orange juice is the new 'Old Peculiar'.

8:19 am  
Blogger Dave G said...

Glad you liked the fairy story Kaz, I wrote that for a little girl I know. A coalwoman in ashton eh, perhaps you didn't get any chocolate because you didn't sing to her, or maybe you did !!

11:45 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Dave: Loved the story - but I only sing in the bath.

Anyone else: The lovely Dave is referring to a comment I wrote on his latest post. You could go over there and say hello.

3:34 pm  
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9:14 am  

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