Saturday, February 03, 2007

Flushed

It’s Saturday again, so you’ll all be off to B&Q or Waitrose.

Of course we don’t have Waitrose up north. After all - if they let us have ‘Ballotine of Guinea Fowl with Prunes’ we’d only serve it with HP sauce and a barm cake.

But we do have Asda and I, of course, go there on weekday afternoons when there’s only a few old gits there carrying Roy ‘Rainman’ Cropper style shopping bags.

Asda have been boasting about their toilets recently. It’s probably the Walmart influence.


Unfortunately Mr Walmart hasn’t much influence over the attitude of the locals.
Talking of signs do you think this van belongs to Farmer Giles?
Enjoy your weekend!

KAZ

18 Comments:

Blogger stitchwort said...

There's a Waitrose in Durham.
But then there are very rich students in Durham.
The van - I am much too refined to comment - or even ask!

10:10 am  
Blogger Anxious said...

We're not particularly flush with Waitroses down in the South West. Our nearest is about 50 miles away... :o(

10:24 am  
Anonymous geoff said...

There is a Waitrose about 4 miles away but being penny pinchers we use the local Asda.

The last time I used a supermarket toilet I was absolutely desperate after a long drive and the Sainsbury's gents was shut. I used the disabled toilet rather than going to the ladies. Did I do the right thing?

Geoff (Farmer Giles - the secret's out due to me transferring everything to New Blogger at the same time).

11:17 am  
Blogger MJ said...

What exactly are they checking for every hour on the hour?

Yes, that's Farmer Giles' van stuck there in the parking lot. That explains why he hasn't posted recently.

2:26 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

I thought you all shopped at Netto up in Corrie land Kaz? Where Peter Kay said someone won a trolley dash and came away with £3.58 of groceries?

Mind you don't get caught using your flash in the ladies toilets.

2:39 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Stitch: Perhaps I should review my idea of the North. I think there’s one in Wilmslow too - but they won’t let common Mancunians across the border into Cheshire.

Anx: Sorry - I think we Northerners do tend to equate ‘south’ with London.

Geoff: OK to use it as long as you don’t knock over too many wheelchairs in your haste.

I’m afraid your ‘secret’ wasn’t very well kept. Anyway, I recognized your phone number on the van.

Mj: The mind ‘boggles’.

He’s obviously too busy polishing his cocks.

Murph:
I sometimes shop on the Internetto.

Do you have supermarkets in Norfolk - or do you have to wait for the van on the street corner?

3:44 pm  
Blogger Midnight Meandering said...

I wonder what the demand is like for Farmer Giles services. Maybe it's white van woman as a pose to a man?

7:39 pm  
Anonymous betty said...

We got a leaflet through the door once advertising special offers at Netto - they just seemed to sell food from the 1950's - pease pudding, steak and kidney pudding, something called Goblin meat pudding. I was so intrigued I actually did the half hour walk to the store - then I couldn't get in! I don't know if you have to make an appointment to get in, for security reasons, but there were no open doors!

8:28 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Midnight: White van woman? You mean like a travelling brothel - rather like the mobile library.
I must tell young Wayne immediately - You heard it here first!

Betty: How nostalgic - my mum used to adore those Goblin puddings (from Kwiksave I think)
I've never been to Netto. But I know where it is and now you've passed on the challenge - I'll be there on Monday morning with the wire cutters.

9:41 pm  
Blogger Ruby in Bury said...

When I go back home (The North) and I'm going for half term week - I like shopping at the supermarket down the road from my mum's - Aldi. I like the way the ladies on the till whoosh all the shopping through into your trolley really fast.

9:52 am  
Blogger Gentleman-hobbs said...

Brilliant stuff.

11:14 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Ruby: Aldi seems to be on the up and up. There's a new store just opened in Manchester in the main street with H & M, Mango etc!

Gentleman - Thanks.
You aren't by any chance one of the McVitie Hob nobs are you? I knew them well.

4:59 pm  
Anonymous Fidel said...

Cock au van???

1:06 pm  
Blogger Gerald England said...

The Gents in Hyde Asda was closed on Friday [due to a "blockage" I understand] and we had to use the disabled loo.

The loos in Clarendon Shopping Mall were closed on Jan 1st for "refurbishment". Six weeks we was told before they re-open. So for four weeks we've been trotting off to use the ones by the Town Hall. At the end of January these were closed down permanently -- I don't see why but surely they could have been reprieved for a few weeks until the ones in Clarendon re-open!

7:00 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Fidel: Very Good.
However, I'm a vegetarian - so I don't eat coq!!

Gerald: It gives a whole new meaning to the word 'convenience'.
I wonder why it's so difficult.

8:21 pm  
Blogger Lubin said...

I love Waitrose. And there are a few up north. There's one in Wilmslow and another in Formby.

4:13 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Wilmslow's just down the road from me - but sometimes it seems like another country.
I often go bird watching in Formby - so perhaps i'll test out your recommendation.

10:14 pm  
Blogger OutHouse Capital of Canada said...

The Walmart loos on this side of the pond are always in top shape, sorry about the asda loos.

Our problem over here is gas(petrol)stations that have crappy toilets

7:50 am  

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