Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Love??

I bought this book from the cheap bookshop.


The writer is a portrait painter who fell in love with her man ‘across a crowded room’. After studying zillions of photographs she has concluded that there are THREE visual love categories to explain why we fancy someone rotten.

1: HARMONISM. Two people share similar facial proportions. (e.g. Guy and Madge)

2: ECHOISM: Very specific this one. It’s about the echo of shapes of upper eye lid, upper lip line or eyebrow sweep -(e.g Posh and Becks or Brad and Jen ..oops.... here’s my update)

3: PRIMA COPULISM. (No - not first shag - but resemblance to father, mother or - in the case of prince Charles - nanny)

Apparently Camilla is the spitting image of the woman who pushed his pram and changed his nappy.

Just look at the resemblance between Elton’s mum and David Furnish.
If you score in all three of the above categories you have it made.

I’ve always been a sceptic of just about everything. But - I think there’s something in this theory.

For 20 years I have wondered why Kev (6ft, athletic) and Kaz (5ft, pathetic) got together.

Why was I attracted to a bipolar, loud mouthed and (worst of all) folk singing alcoholic?

Now I know. It’s all because of the distance between my nose and upper lip.

Or - more recently - could it be the distance between Spain and Manchester?
KAZ


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21 Comments:

Blogger Murph said...

Could have been bi-polar magnetism Kaz.

And are you sure that's not Elton rather than his Mum?

10:43 am  
Blogger MJ said...

I've always found alcoholics and drug addicts to be most alluring.

But I draw the line at folk singers.

3:28 pm  
Blogger Dave G said...

I don't have a type, I like all varieties of woman, although I am rather partial to the eskimo brand, you know the kind of thing red conk, hair stuck out in all directions, and lips cold as a witches tit.

3:42 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

Hmm ... what attracted me to the millionaire Omar Sharif lookalike Geoff?

It must be because we both have a moustache and enjoy playing bridge.

5:04 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Murph:
No! I passed A level Physics and I think ‘poles apart’ would be more appropriate.
She looks a bit too butch for Elton.

Mj:
This little ’ole wine drinker kept very quiet about the folk singing until it was too late.

Dave:
I thought all the gals looked like that in Clayton.

Betty:
I never spotted the resemblance between Omar Sharif and Ben Elton.
Or is that just a rumour that Geoff puts about to stop us all getting madly jealous?

5:43 pm  
Blogger Dave G said...

Indeed they do, however I don't thank god live in clayton.

6:17 pm  
Blogger Midnight said...

I don't think the theories apply when I have beer goggles on, which is the only time I'm brave enough to pull, so it's pretty irrelevant for me, but I reckon it's feasible for sober people.

11:01 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Dave:
Don't worry, I know you're one of the Cheshire set. Didn't you move into the Beckhams' place in Alderley Edge?

Midnight:
Some people say that it's only through the beer goggles that we see things as they really are.

8:48 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Looking carefully at DH last night, I can see no resemblance whatever to my mother - she had hair and her moustache was very feeble in comparison.

(Horrors - WV is botyfel!)

9:28 am  
Blogger Lubin said...

That David Furnish/mother picture is scary! I have to get that book.

9:58 am  
Blogger Dave G said...

I did wander round their house yes, but I had to leave when they woke up.

10:32 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Stitch:
Good thing it wasn't the other way round!
I'm sure they are both 'botyfell' in their own way.

Lubin: You should see the one of Bill Clinton's mum and Monica Lewinsky.

Dave:
Now that's one of your tall stories I'm inclined to believe.

6:36 pm  
Blogger Arabella said...

The Husband has a beard. With every year that passes I use tweezers more and more.
Faints.

7:37 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hello Arabella:
(Offers sal ammoniac)
Book says nowt about beards.
Blame the hormones or the genes.

9:04 pm  
Blogger Gorilla Bananas said...

Once again, the importance of smell in mate selection is swept under the deodorized armpit.

10:36 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

G.B:
Smell might be good for gorillas - but, after a squirt of Chanel no5, we humans could all be fancying Anne Widdecombe.

10:17 am  
Blogger Zyzzyz said...

I'd rather have Anne Robinson than Widdecombe even my Uncle Cobley didn't fancy her.

8:49 am  
Blogger Murph said...

Kaz...where's your new post gone? Has it been dobbed in to blogger as racist, sexist, and birdist?

9:27 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

'twas myself who deleted it Murph. I thought I might get sacked from the Tory party.

This was a pity as I'd replied wittily to your comment by asking if you liked Neun und Neunzig ice creams as well?

9:51 am  
Blogger Murph said...

It was ein cracker as well!

I like the View will be very confused with my reerence to your latest post in my latest post.

I'm off for a nap now...this is excitement has tired me out!

11:02 am  
Blogger I, like the view said...

iView is always confused

surely you know that by now?

12:55 pm  

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