Monday, March 26, 2007

Quick fix

So the Artful Dodger was in rehab because he drinks (36 X2) espressos a day!

Espresso has been my coffee of choice for years. It’s a quick fix in a tiny cup.

If I wanted a meal I might choose latte or cappuccino as designer coffees often have more calories than a cream cake or a bacon buttie. Friend C often chooses full cream milk latte with vanilla syrup. She ladles in the sugar, eats the biccy in the saucer and then scoffs mine as well.

She isn’t getting smaller.

In Spain it’s café solo, in France it’s just café.

But in Manchester, terminology has become a problem. When I say ‘espresso please’ interrogation always follows.

Do you mean a little one like this? Separation of digits indicates size.

In Café Rouge last night we were given large cups, almost full.

‘This isn’t an espresso’.
It’s a double.’
I frowned - they replaced it.

It happens every time - why the recent change?

Last week in M&S café Revive…

Kaz -Espresso please

Do you want a large one?

No - an espresso.

(Counter assistant consults ‘Woman in Charge’ - she approaches looking concerned)

Ave you ‘ad it before luv?

WHAAAT? Kaz smoulders, counts to ten, applies teacher look and says ‘yes’


When I celebrate with friends A to E we go to our favourite place in the village. At Velvet, they know what ‘an espresso’ means.

I love it there.

'Im upstairs has a mid - life crisis machine.

KAZ

18 Comments:

Blogger Geoff said...

Bloody hell, that's some coffee machine. I'd love to have a kitchen full of smeg (fnar fnar).

No wonder Robbie is always bug-eyed. My mum swore he was on drugs - now I can tell her it's nothing of the sort.

1:43 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...

mine's a latte

but I love the bitterness of an expresso from time to time, usually when the milk's gone too sour to froth without turning into curd cheese

1:53 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

It's the perks of a lady of leisure!
(I thought Kev had acquired a treadmill Kaz.)

2:02 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Geoff:
The machine upstairs is really a Seimens - but that's just as bad isn't it?

View:
I like a cappuccino when it's cold - the weather that is - not the coffee.
I ask for skimmed milk and then put loads of chocolate on the top.

Murph:
No, Kev has a bike and a thingy to fix it on so it doesn't go anywhere. That's for when it's raining.
I prefer the coffee machine - one of the few remaining 'perks' to the upstairs downstairs arrangement.

5:31 pm  
Blogger Gareth said...

I had a similar experience back in Wales last year. I took mum and dad out for a meal. Finished off with coffee asked for an espresso. Went to the loo and came back to what was a basically an Americano. I've had stronger tap water.

6:18 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

I had a near death experience after drinking too much filter coffee from a machine when I was in a temping job (er, there was nothing else to do. Then my heartbeat went up to about 300 beats a minute or something). I've had to be careful with caffeine intake since. If I drank as much as Robbie I'd be dead!

8:37 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Gareth:
Glad I'm not the only one.
I don't think it used to happen - I think the change may have something to do with the 'Starbucks' coffee culture.

Betty:
Perhaps Robbie is dead - we haven't exactly seen much of him since Take That came back.
Your experience sounds scary - you are obviously a sensitive little creature.
Stick with the Horlicks.

10:08 pm  
Blogger Dave G said...

For a crap coffee experience I have found that Asda can not be beaten (Although they should be, soundly) Whatever they might call it, it is always cold, complain and you are treated like a pariah.

10:59 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Coffee used to be fairly predictable in cafes - brown, fairly tasteless, and warm.
Then we got all these fancy places, like St*rbucks, Costa Mint, and the one I thought for ages was called CAFE NERD, and the choice became almost unlimited, but the result was still brown, fairly tasteless and warm.
It's harder to ruin tea, so now I usually go for the tea.

2:59 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Dave:
Even in the more expensive places you are very lucky to get a HOT coffee.
I think Starbucks must keep their cups in the fridge.

Stitch: (oops I typed 'titch' first - that's me and definitely not you!)

In spite its name, I think Café Nerd is probably the best of the bunch - it claims Italian origin so they should know what Espresso means.

5:23 pm  
Blogger Ruby in Bury said...

I used to have one of those little Italian expresso makers you put on the cooker top. Lost it in a house move, but I feel like getting another now, after all this talk of expressos.

I can't drink filter coffee, it's horrid. Tastes like Nescafe that's been stirred with a Frankfurter.

12:58 am  
Blogger I, like the view said...

I can vouch for Cafe Nerd (sic), my local one at least - it serves very good expresso, with that lovely creamy minimal froth on top

(however they have recently introduced a smoking ban, so now I have to get take-outs and always seem to end up with the beer-swilling drunks on the local park bench; which bring the whole "going out for a coffee" experience down a notch or two in my book)

11:55 am  
Anonymous NiC said...

Yes, this is strange one, you'd think they'd want to give you the smallest portion possible for cost reasons. It hasn't happened to me very often but each time it does I am very confused.

I blame the american influence and size obsesion.

12:27 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Ruby:
So you too have read the book *101 uses for a frankfurter*.

View:
Smoker eh?
Do you feel persecuted or tempted to give up?
Although I look exactly like Patsy/Joanna - I don't smoke - it's the only vice I haven't got!

Nic:
I think that must be the reason - I never heard of 'double espresso' until a few years ago.
*Less is more*.
Well I would say that.

1:16 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...

kaz I've only been doing it for eight years (was a very late starter); it is my only vice, however, so - despite feeling persecuted, and quite rightly, it's a foul and damaging habit - I'm loathe to

(give up, I mean)

park benches are quite nice when the sun shines

7:21 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Funnily enough I have always longed to smoke - it always seems so glamorous and grown up.

I imagine myself sitting on a deserted beach looking out to sea with Gauloise in my hand.

9:32 pm  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

What you want with coffee is lots and lots AND LOTS AND LOTS of cream like we did in Belgium. Have a look here
http://flamingnora.blogspot.com/2007/03/spring-jollies.html

5:36 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Coffee?
That's pudding!

8:01 am  

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