Monday, August 20, 2007


Don’t come over to my place for breakfast.

My pop up toaster sends the toast into orbit and the cleanliness of my kitchen floor can’t be guaranteed.

Don’t come over to my place for lunch.

I don’t do lunch.

Don’t come over to my place for dinner.

I don’t have a cooker. I had it taken out to make more space.

There’s a microwave - but it’s easier to go upstairs, over to Abdul’s or Wetherspoons or into town.

Feel free to give me a ring, send an e mail or comment on the blog.

Or why not come round for a drink and a nibble.




Blogger garfer said...

Have you got any peanuts?

Actually, sod the peanuts. I'll settle for a tube of Pringles and a bottle of super strength cider.

11:58 am  
Blogger Geoff said...

Our Wetherspoons was full of nutters last time we were there.

They own another pub which had a young, funky name - therefore a very young clientele. They changed the name to something more olde worlde - therefore a much older clientele. Like magic.

1:44 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

Have you got a cheeky little Sauvingon Blanc Kaz? I expect Lembit Opik has got his greasy hands on it by now.

Anyway, is cooking too much like a chemistry lesson for you?

1:46 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

What a relief to find that other people don't cook either. Almost everybody on the internet thinks that anyone who takes less than five hours to prepare their tea is the spawn of the devil and a lazy shirker to boot.

2:26 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

I suggest you lock up your liquor cabinet if I'm coming round.

Can we watch Corrie together?

2:45 pm  
Blogger Dave G said...

I think that that anyone who takes less than five hours to prepare their tea is the spawn of the devil and a lazy shirker to boot.

3:53 pm  
Blogger Arabella said...

MMmmmmmm....Hula Hoops. Haven't had those in three years! Better have a big bag.

4:59 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

There's a bench on the corner where they'll give you the cider.

But they don't do Pringles - I'll provide those.

Well - it all goes to show..not quite sure what.. but I know you will.

Our Wetherspoons was Lloyds (urban version) but now it's gone back to being Wetherspoons.

Don't worry - the Sauvignon's Hungarian not Romanian.

Yes - all that mixing, simmering and condensing - and that's just the gossip in the lab.

Shirking and spawning beats sauteeing and stuffing.

I do like looking at the pictures in cookery books though.

What's mine is thine babe!
I'll expect you at 7.30 (BST) - G&T and Doritos OK?

(looks at watch) - I'll be round at yours at 10.15pm - should give you plenty of time.

I'll bring the Sauvignon.

OK - Don't worry about the waistline. I also have the other sort of Hula Hoop to deal with any expansion in that area.

5:20 pm  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

Oh, Hula-Hoops! i hope they're of the salt 'n' vinegar variety?

I'll be there in half an hour.

A nice glass of Shiraz will suffice.

8:07 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

An open house, and a hostess with the mostess... Sorry to say but I'm a larger lout, without the lout.
I took Jane into Weatherspoons last week ... all that swearing, spitting and fighting, I had to drag her out before I got barred.

8:33 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

It's on ice already - I'll add the salt and vinegar personally.

mj's a bit late.

You'd fit in well round here.
Stella's waiting for you.

9:06 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

I suppose I've missed the party? Fine. Have a blogging party when I'm away then. Don't mind me...

I'll just cry into my glass of rum punch.


12:14 am  
Blogger EmmaK said...

I'm coming round right now with an Indian (I mean a takeaway), some sour cream and onion Pringles, 200 duty free fags and a bottle of Bombay Sapphire. Am I welcome?

1:17 am  
Blogger MJ said...

I was at work!

Damn this 8 hour time difference.

3:43 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Hope you all had a good time.

We eat to live, not live to eat.

And if I spend ages cooking something, I don't want it to be all eaten in five minutes.

9:00 am  
Blogger ziggi said...

more room for what??

do you have olives? I like olives, very little cooking involved in an olive.

9:45 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

After that 'punch' line I've no sympathy.

Call round when you get back - there may still be a twiglet left.

Yes - It was the Bombay Sapphire that clinched it.

I've told you about using those four letter words on my blog.

You could pop round for afternoon Teletubbies and Martini.

It's an open invitation ...

I agree with your sentiments - your knitting lasts a lot longer than that - and (with luck) our blogs will last for ever.

You know - like - stuff!

Oh yes! I'm with you on the olives. I live next door to Sainsbury's where they have the most awesome selection.

10:22 am  
Anonymous NiC said...

Our toaster doesn't eject the toast at all...somewhere in between yours and ours would be nice.

10:25 am  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

Red wine and hula hoops? If ever I was in any doubt you are my long lost older and more sophisticated sister, well, those doubts are now laid to rest! We are twins!

3:18 pm  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

As long as you've got floor space for me to crash, I don't care what's in your kitchen.

5:47 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Yes - it's not very dignified crawling round on all fours every morning in search of the toast.

Family motto - 'In Vino Collapso'.

[cherry] ride:
And the toast will land on you in the morning - great service eh?

7:05 pm  
Blogger tony said...

CRUMBS!!!!.someone should invent an I-Pod that makes toast too!?:)

11:48 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...

oooh toast

my favourite catalogue. . .

. . .if only the clothes were cheaper

hey! come over to mine - I do a great line in those triangular shaped crunchy things which you stick under the grill covered in avocado, sour cream, tomato salsa and grated cheese

that's the crunchy things, not the grill obviously. . .

11:49 am  
Blogger I, like the view said...

ps what's Corrie?

11:50 am  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

i like the view - Corrie is Coronation Street - a shite programme on telly about the 1920's suburb of Manchesterville, England.

It's about the scurge of tuberculosis on the dirty masses that reside there.

Set in the western corner of Manchesterville, it follows a quarantined family of street sweepers and prostitutes as they try to cope with only porridge oats, carrots, aubergine and lemon cordial to survive.

It's very popular among chavs and Canadians in search of interesting recipes from past times.

It's shown daily at 7pm, 9pm and 11pm.

5:03 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

Well, I was thinking of bringing over some avocados for ILTV's toastie thingys, especially since the magic word 'olive' was mentioned.

I'll pick up a tub of Sainsbury's mixed olives with feta on my way to yours.

Did I mention the fabulous gold rum I could bring back?

7:33 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

I'd buy it.

The pics are nice - because they have beautiful models.

It's certainly my favourite food.

P & T:
I won't mention Emmerdale because I don't want to offend anybody.

I've just returned from a day in Liverpool, where they are famous for their wit and cheek. But they obviously can't begin to compete with you lads from Barnsley.

Can you buy aubergines in Barnsley?

Oh and I'm not a Canuck so I must be a chav!

Olives and feta sound great - but for some strange reason the gold rum sounds even better.
Hurry home!

7:59 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Does anyone have a recipe for hotpot?

2:58 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

My gran took hers to the grave.

Obviously the main ingredient was aubergine.

7:19 am  
Anonymous NiC said...

Crawling around on all fours or poking a knife into the may not be very dignified but t'other is positively dangerous!

8:52 am  
Blogger Murph said...

I crawl around on all fours every morning looking for toast, but in a very dignified way. I can't speak for the biped, of course.

There's a whiff of over-indulgance, cheap fast food snacks and stale beer over's like a Pringle Sweater but not in a nice way... when are you going to get up and attend to your expectant throngs Kaz?

(PS Aubergine was a great single from Michael Jackson wasn't it?)

11:23 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

I think a new consumer durable purchase may be advisable.

But I bet you don't look so dignified on two legs.

I preferred 'Pretty little Red Courgette' by

12:35 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home