Sunday, November 25, 2007

Friday night and Saturday morning

3.20 am phone rings.

I wake up, say 'Oh dear' and answer politely.

"Kaz someone's broken into your 'onda and set fire to two other cars!"

I love my sleep so much I was tempted to say "thanks" and roll over again.
Eventually dragged sleepy self down to car park behind flats to stand in frosty night and have nice friendly chat with neighbours and firefighters whilst drunken students on overlooking balcony sang 'Baby you can light my fire'.
Very pleasant but a warmer and earlier time would have been preferable.

The passenger window on the 'onda was smashed and the handbook scattered on floor. Neil observed that the tyres had been let down but I reassured him that they just hadn't been blown up - why don't they do that as part of the service?
Kev was fussing, faffing and taking charge (once a teacher always a
Another damaged car belonged to Erik - a Sven soundalike. He gave me a serious look and asked "Vill you be moving away now Kaz?". I tried to explain about Manchester..

The following morning was Saturday - vital to get a new window.
For once a phone call had great results.
Rang AA (not that one)

Put straight through to AUTOGLASS

Short wet drive to Salford

Fixed while I waited.

Oh and it opens now - it didn't before
Kev still fussing and flapping - felt better after Everton 7 Sunderland 1.

After a visit to Tesco there was a shock on opening the boot - it was EMPTY apart from 2 new boxes of Christmas lights from IKEA

The vandals had run off with a large bag of my old clothes. It was on its way to the charity shop. I hope one of them is a shortarse or they will be very disappointed.

Don't worry I'll make sure Oxfam doesn't lose out.



Blogger Geoff said...

These motor repairs companies are pretty damn quick. The staff at Autoglass, Kwik Fit and ATS have all got me up and running with absolutely no fuss.

The car running, not me of course - I'm no Fred Flintstone.

3:46 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

You can't get quicker than a Kwik-Fit Fitter of course. What a pain in the proverbial.

Mind you, if somebody, let's call him Mr K., wanted to get hold of ladies clothes for dodgy purposes, let's consider what he might do.

a. Steal them from your boot

b. Set fire to some adjacent cars to create a decoy.

c. Rush back to the scene of the crime pretending to be all helpful and fussing.

My case rests. Check that upstairs wardrobe Kaz.

4:05 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

I've been reading a lot about these bogus charity collectors stealing clothes left out for the real charities and making millions selling it back to them (or something). Never heard of them breaking into cars and torching others as a diversion before though.

Since one of our car windows doesn't work I'm now wondering where I should leave it and how many old clothes I need to put in the boot before it gets broken in to so I can get the window fixed.

Glad you can see the silver lining!

6:20 pm  
Blogger Rimshot said...

I don't have the Kaz to Rimshot translation, but it would seem that you're not all too surprised at such an event and that you've already gotten it sorted out.

Now, what's a shortarse?

8:22 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

When I phoned the insurance they put me straight through to Autoglass. It was the complete opposite of dealings with banks/building socs/BT etc.....and 24 hour service.

Elementary my dear Murph - I found three size 8 tank tops, a teddy, four girdles and a basque.

And it wasn't Mikel Arteta.

I think the problem with the window was the luxuriant growth of moss that had accumulated - worthy of inlusion on LDNP methinks.

Silver lining?
I work on the principle - Did anybody die??

See above re my attitude to vandals etc.

But you should see the tears when I'm having a bad hair day.

Shortarse er Shortass er Kylie??
I am petite.

8:33 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

Well, if you see any spotty crack addict boys wearing your old frocks then you'll know whodunnit.

I hope they have a horrible Christmas too.

8:36 pm  
Blogger Rimshot said...

Dammit! You mean these won't fit me?

10:48 pm  
Blogger SL said...

Manchester, my Manchester.

11:02 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

I hope you weren't throwing out your Docs without consulting me first?

3:22 am  
Blogger tony said...

Police Are looking For Some VerySnazzy Dressed Crooks. ?.
Sorry To Hear About All That.Not Very Pleasant.You caught up on your sleep on Sunday?

7:42 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Manchester is still not on my List of Places in Which I Want to Work.

8:18 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Old clothes - yes.
IKEA Christmas lights - no.
Strange choice.

9:05 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Elementary my dear Betty!

They should have taken the lights to improve their Christmas. I'd bought them to try and 'get in the mood'.

Don't worry they weren't your colour either.

So good they named it twice.

My Docs die of old age and go straight to that great wheelie bin in the sky.

I think there were a few stripey jumpers and a balaclava in there.
Sleeping is one of my hobbies.

You don't know what you're missing.

Perhaps it's against their religion .....IKEA I mean.

12:27 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

Oooh. You and Yours on R4 have just done a piece on this. It seems you are the victim of a multi-million pound crime spree.

Stealing clothes left our for charity, that is.

Mind you, neither thieves nor the charity in question collected the bag of clothes I left out on the day they were supposed to collect last week. I now have a bag of slightly damp clothes that I'll have to take to the shop myself, I suppose.

12:28 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hold on a minute Dave - I'll send the lads round.

12:34 pm  
Blogger Ackworth Born said...

It is at times like this I'm glad I don't have a car anymore - one less hassle.

2:06 pm  
Blogger Rimshot said...

It's times like this that I'm glad I don't donate my old clothes to charity...or hang Christmas lights.

4:35 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

The bus service in my area is so good, I don't use mine as much as I used to.
But it would be a very hard decision. I've been driving since I was 17.

Those clothes were very well travelled - they had been 'in transit' for weeks.... and those lights might well be returned for a refund if the Christmas spirit doesn't arrive soon.

7:30 pm  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

Living in the car theft capital of the Colonies has brought about some interesting innovations..for instance we all keep several loaded mousetraps in the glove box..hidden just so..and when those little f*%#@n bastards reach in there looking for imaginary stacks of $100s SNAP!

I also leave the doors unlocked so that the rabid, crackhead, Wolverines can surprise those little f*%#@n bastards.
We borrow the Wolverines from the University after they have finished conducting months of painful experiments on their reproductive organs and eyes, sans freezing of course.
They're really pissed off.

4:21 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Congratulations on living in the car theft capital of Canada. I'm sure that Liverpool (European city of culture) would beat Manchester in the UK.

I haven't seem many wolverines round here but there are a few angry mongrels i could put to work.

9:45 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow. I am stunned that such things happen.

I saw your comment at Salty's blog about the nuthatches. I just happened to post one too but mine is the red-breasted and I live on this side of the pond.

Brookville Daily Photo.

11:29 am  
Blogger MJ said...

HE is blowing smoke out of his arse for it is I that lives near the car theft capital of the Colonies. Not IN it, mind. Near it. The car theft capital of the Colonies is Surrey, British Columbia.

*prepares for spat with HE*

12:31 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

I looked for a pic of the red breasted one - it looks very like our 'common' nuthatch.
I hate it when a bird is called common don't you?

Are all Canadians so competitive?

3:19 pm  
Blogger Lubin said...

I suspect it's happening everywhere. I had one of my hub caps stolen in a carpark in Wadebridge in Cornwall - which is hardly known for its criminal element. It's the end of society!

And last month someone drove into my car door and left an enormous dent, and this was while I was parked at Lancaster University. I suspect it was one of the building contractors though and not one of my nice middle-class students.

4:35 pm  
Blogger Rimshot said...

It sounds like England is a scary and crime riddled place.

Too bad you don't tote some firepower to deter those n'er-do-wells.

If it gets too bad...sleepover at my place, bring snacks.

9:44 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Are you sure you hadn't just given someone a D minus for an essay?

I'll be on the next bus with Pringles.

10:54 am  

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