Kaz: - has anyone handed in a bag?
Young Sainsbury's Assistant: Is it a designer bag madam?
K: It's a little black one
YSA: Yeah - but is it 'designer'
K: (after much thought) - No -
YSA: Had it any labels on it?
K: It's from 'River island'.......
Giving me up as a lost cause, she took out a book in which was written a list of every single item she had found in my bag. Right down to the bit of used chewing gum wrapped in the bit of used tissue.
After a lengthy interrogation, she put the Anglepoise lamp away and gave me my bag complete with cash and cards.
So when did the words 'designer' and 'bag' become welded together?
Even Sunday's 'Observer Woman' described 2007 as 'The Year our Handbag Habit got out of Control'.
The monstrosity above is 'The £23,000 Louis Vuitton Tribute Bag' as favoured by Beyoncé .
Agyness (the new Kate Moss) prefers Mulberry at £895. Agyness comes from Ramsbottom.
Posh loves 'Oscar de la Renta Larrabee' at a mere $3895.
OK - You might say - what do you expect from the inhabitants of *Heat* magazine? The celebs get the handbags for nothing. Armani and Donatella get the publicity and the punters flash their credit cards on the way to bankruptcy and ruin.
But Tessa Jowell (Chloe over £500).....
and Jaqui Smith (Mulberry £590) ....are members of the Labour party
Perhaps socialism is a bit out of date - but shouldn’t these women be letting us know that they care about social justice, ordinary people and the disadvantaged?
Have a good quality handbag by all means Jaqui but not one that flaunts a conspicuous consumption logo. It's just giving out the wrong signs to the Labour supporters who voted you in.