Thursday, December 06, 2007

A HANDBAG??!!??

I recently arrived home to discover I'd left my bag in Sainsbury's car park. After driving back in a blind panic I reached the customer service desk in a panting heap .

Kaz: - has anyone handed in a bag?

Young Sainsbury's Assistant: Is it a designer bag madam?

K: It's a little black one

YSA: Yeah - but is it 'designer'

K: (after much thought) - No -

YSA: Had it any labels on it?

K: It's from 'River island'.......


Giving me up as a lost cause, she took out a book in which was written a list of every single item she had found in my bag. Right down to the bit of used chewing gum wrapped in the bit of used tissue.

After a lengthy interrogation, she put the Anglepoise lamp away and gave me my bag complete with cash and cards.


So when did the words 'designer' and 'bag' become welded together?

Even Sunday's 'Observer Woman' described 2007 as 'The Year our Handbag Habit got out of Control'.

The monstrosity above is 'The £23,000 Louis Vuitton Tribute Bag' as favoured by Beyoncé .

Agyness (the new Kate Moss) prefers Mulberry at £895. Agyness comes from Ramsbottom.



Posh loves 'Oscar de la Renta Larrabee' at a mere $3895.


OK - You might say - what do you expect from the inhabitants of *Heat* magazine? The celebs get the handbags for nothing. Armani and Donatella get the publicity and the punters flash their credit cards on the way to bankruptcy and ruin.

But Tessa Jowell (Chloe over £500).....

and Jaqui Smith (Mulberry £590) ....are members of the Labour party

Perhaps socialism is a bit out of date - but shouldn’t these women be letting us know that they care about social justice, ordinary people and the disadvantaged?

Have a good quality handbag by all means Jaqui but not one that flaunts a conspicuous consumption logo. It's just giving out the wrong signs to the Labour supporters who voted you in.

KAZ

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35 Comments:

Blogger Rimshot said...

Yay! First!

and


YEAH! What's up with the pricey purse, lady? Us labor party punters aren't happy about.

Oh, wait that labor with a 'u'...never mind.

5:16 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

I have a manbag which I purchased in Cyprus.

It comes in handy for carrying my guns and rolling tobacco.

Unfortunately it's not safe to carry over here as ruffians would beat me up for looking like a nance.

5:35 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

you see even with a hyphen I wouldn't have recognised their handbags as 'designer'.

6:36 pm  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

First of all, congrats on recovering your lost articles,
MFC!
*incorporates appropriate genuflection

Secondly, these are some very posh Bag Ladies!
As a Y chrome I have no frickin idea what any of this means..none whatsover.
I phoned Mrs. Becks to inquire about the subject and she said,
"well luv it's 'mayjah' for a proper laidee to 'ave the royt bag, innit."

6:44 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Rimshot:
'purse' or 'labor' we all speak transatlantic over here.

Anyway, Labour is very 'non U' these days.

Garfer:
Man boobs and man bags - you're pinching all our stuff.

Er - can't you just shoot to kill?

Ziggi:
Exactly - to me they look more Primark than Prada.

H.E.
Sounds like Victoria comes from Birmingham.
That explains a lot.
According to the article - the bag in the pic costs £3,000 more than a Mercedes C180 Coupe SE.
Any sentient chrome would prefer that to a bloody handbag!

7:34 pm  
Blogger Mopsa said...

I'm a Guardian on Saturday woman, and on the few occasions I'm out and about on a Sunday I'll get an Observer. But this week's Observer Woman mag with all those women and their bags made me want to spill blood. There was just one more article after another on outrageous consumption. I've got old and the world's gone bonkers. The pope is giving Lourdes visitors time off purgatory for good behaviour (a bribe I think you call that) and folks demand death for calling a teddybear a perfectly good name.
Must be the bah humbug time of year.

7:48 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

i can't understand why women spend so much on bags and shoes

10:21 pm  
Blogger Arabella said...

It's plain daft, this bag business. And most of them are ugly things anyway, laden down with nasty buckles and metal loops.(I mean the handbags). The bag of my dreams is from Hermes but it'll stay that way, a dream bag, unless I win the lottery and then I'd still feel guilty.

10:22 pm  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

I have no interest whatever in this subject.
I hope that this helps.

10:39 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

I ask that your next posting show us the contents of your handbag.

Including any bits of used chewing gum. Do you use that as a prophylactic?

11:13 pm  
Blogger tony said...

I am glad you got your cards et al back.
At least Smith's was Socialist Red!
Have you got any of those emails that are bouncing around the Internet offering to hire designer handbags out.Crazy.

7:39 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I got my bag in the souk in Tunisia.

7:57 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Mopsa:
There used to be a blog called 'Observer Woman makes me Spit' - they were merciless in their criticism.
It's always Bah Humbug time round here!

Pete:
Women?
The only thing I have in common with Posh is that we both watch football.

Arabella:
Aaaah the Guilt!

We agonise when we buy dear and also when we buy cheap in case we are exploiting someone.

Vicus:
Help??
NO!
"But I do appreciate you being round".

mj:
Prophylactic? What an excellent vocabulary you have.

The contents of my handbag?
Do I sound like I want to get arrested?

Tony:
Hire out handbags?
I hope they remove the used chewing gum first.

Dave:
Is it one of those with long fringe, multi coloured embroidery, tiny mirrors and a strange all permeating smell of patchouli?

9:21 am  
Blogger Murph said...

Yes come on Jacqui! A Burberry rucksack and matching hat would be far more appropriate.

Does Agyness really come from Upper Ramsbottom? And does she say "rearly rearly rearly?" like Jane Horrocks? She's making our Tessa look a bit Jowly though.

9:35 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Murph:
'Upper Ram's Bottom'.... ha ha!

In spite of the fact that the magazines say Agyness comes from Manchester she is in fact a Ramsbottom lass.
You could call in on the way back from Lancaster and practise the accent.

10:47 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

I once had a cheap sports bag that looks almost exactly like that one Tessa Jowell's carrying. The red briefcase is pretty smart, though.

Agyness is a new one to me. You can picture her parents, gazing in admiration at their brand new baby - "what shall we call her? Agyness is a nice name".

11:23 am  
Blogger Betty said...

Almost as important as having a vastly overpriced handbag is carrying it the right way according to what's fashionable at the time. At the moment, it seems to be holding it in the crook of your arm at a ridiculous angle (I've seen women in town do it, no doubt copying somebody or other from Sex And The City).

12:27 pm  
Blogger Kate said...

I agree with Stitchwort! Tessa Jowell's bag does look like a cheap sports bag. Mind you the trousers are worse - they look like the sort of thing council gardeners wear. Is this the shabby chic I keep hearing about?

12:49 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

What do you expect these women MPs to do? Wear a Gannex raincoat and smoke a pipe?

OK, if it was good enough for Clare Short...

1:40 pm  
Blogger Rimshot said...

Ever seen a blind man cross the road
trying to make the other side
Ever seen a young girl growing old
trying to make herself a bride
So what becomes of you my love
When they have finally stripped you of
The handbags and the gladrags
that your poor old Granddad had to sweat to buy you

3:31 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

D'you think Betty's right? God help me I never realised there was a fashionable way to carry a bag! Does that also apply to a Tesco's carrier??

4:43 pm  
Blogger Ackworth Born said...

The average price of handbags on Hyde Market is £5

At this time on a Friday night I've nowt more to add.

4:58 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Stitch:
She could have carried her mascara and Rennies in that red brief case.
What next? Gertyrude, Barbyra, Susyan - no end of old names could be rejuvenated.

Betty:
I didn't know that - I wonder how they maintain the angle - possibly with an internal steel structure.

Kate:
I don't mind if Tessa looks like a council gardener as long as she supports socialist policies.
Some hopes!!

Geoff:
Poor old Claire Short - a worthy politician - but she never quite got anything right did she?

Perhaps the Labour party babes should wear a uniform designed by George at ASDA.

They couldn't look much worse.

Rimshot:
Love that song - I might forgive Rod (who will soon be the poor old grandad) for all those leggy blondes.

Ziggi:
I once came out of a French movie and observed that Catherine Deneuve would never carry a Tesco carrier bag.
This must be your style rule - they go in the boot.

Gerald:
The voice of reason .... I'll be over there tomorrow.

6:52 pm  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

I really have nothing to contribute here, except to say I once owned a few shirts from River Island when I visited.

Thanks, I'll be going now.

7:52 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...

my favourite bag for years was a duffel bag (and yes, I loved my duffel coat too)

you don't see many duffel bags around these days. . .

but next time you see one, you'll know you read something about them here

;-)

9:27 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not anonymous actually, it's just that silly Blogger comments no longer recognises me, so.....
NiC says:

Someone used to say that you could always spot a socialist as they used a carrier bag to carry their stuff about. I liked this and stuck with it for a very long time. I don't use carrier bags to carry about my cameras though.

Maybe (he says hopefully) Jacqui and Tessa have cheap copies from Fair Trade Fake Shops.

11:56 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Cherry[ride]:
You are a chap of infinite taste.
River Island is my very favourite shop.

View:
The thing about duffel bags was/is that you need to rummage inside them for hours to locate your keys or chewing gum.

NiC:
I am mystified and embarrassed by Blogger's behaviour.

Tories don't use carrier bags 'cos they're all so green now (ha ha).... wouldn't it be great if Tessa & Jaqui carried bags with a Fair Trade or Oxfam logo.

3:14 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

NiC and Kaz: You can leave Blogger a comment here to let them know what you think of their latest feature. They should get feedback about how we’re not pleased.

3:20 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Thanks mj:
I've left a comment and see that others agree.
NiC will be glad to know he's not alone.

4:22 pm  
Blogger Judith said...

Hi Kaz, I've not visited in a long long while. I've really enjoyed this post and comments. As far as I'm concerned, bags only need to be fit for purpose, which means having the right arrangement of pockets inside - not too many nor too few - to open easily and shut securely, and to be able to be carried over the shoulder if necessary, for security's sake, and to leave the hands free for fumbling with one's purse and and picking up dropped packages.

I am currently using a £20 leather bag from Tesco, bought on impulse when shopping late one evening, because I needed a change from black to tan. The pocket arrangement is perfect. I've never seen an ad for a bag which shows you the inside, have you?

4:28 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Not anonymous actually, it's just that silly Blogger comments no longer recognises me, so.....
NiC says:

Thanks indeed MJ and Kaz...I've left a comment there too....though Obviously I had to have an account to do so!

6:45 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Judith:
Great to see you again - the comments are the best bit of this blog.
You are the voice of reason on bags - like you I prefer a shoulder bag.

NiC:
Good - lots of people seem to agree with us about this new system.

8:30 pm  
Blogger Hyde DP said...

You might not have got into Hyde on Saturday as the weather was awful though it was busy nonetheless -anyway you can see handbags for sale on Hyde DP with a link back here.

11:51 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

Whats up with a good string bag... thats what I want to know

6:40 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Two famous Tamesiders together!
My mate Stitchwort has the String Bag

9:15 am  

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