Carrot and Stick
i) give money to fatties who lose weight
ii) teach cooking in schools.
You’ve heard about the carrot and the stick. Well a carrot may help you lose weight - but I lost weight because eating chips gives me stomach ache and eating cake makes my teeth hurt.
I also apply Susan Powter’s mathematical fat formula which I go on and on about.
We already teach cooking in schools - perhaps you used to call it ‘Cookery’ or ‘Home Economics’ or ‘Domestic Science’. Now it’s ‘Food Technology’. During the past 5 years Kev visited many secondary schools as Mr Supersub - the supply teacher. He often commented on the hugeness and obeseness of the food technology teachers. Of course this was not a scientific statistically valid study - but it seems to me that anyone who teaches, thinks or earns a living from food is likely to become a bit obsessed.
Who would you choose to teach your kid cookery?
Clarissa Theresa Philomena Aileen Mary Josephine Agnes Elsie Trilby Louise Esmerelda Dickson Wright
or superslim Gary (what was he thinking?)
Forget the fee Gordon - it's my pleasure.
So here’s my advice :
1: Send Gordon round with a stick to use on fatties every time they eat a pie.
2: Teach an extra lesson of maths every week so that students can do the formula.