Friday, January 18, 2008

Rare and Possibly Extinct?

It's that time of year again.
Early January is when I harness up the huskies, switch on the satnav and make my annual journey to Borders in Stockport . That photo is just to remind you that there is a fate worse than Gordon.
Stockport is where Mancunians go when they are feeling over stimulated and too excited by life. It is the beta blocker of towns.
Last Saturday the car park of this soulless retail centre was overflowing with people willing to pay 40p (minimum) to allow PC World, MacDonald's and Toys 'r Us to separate them from their money.
So why was I there? Well - Borders reduce calendars to half price in January and Kev's birthday is on the 15th. The Everton calendar is not much in demand round here as he’s their only supporter in Greater Manchester.
Glossary - Everton is the name of a Merseyside team who play football with a round ball in BLUE shirts. It is owned by impresario Bill Kenwright who used to be Betty's son (our Gordon).
But this year I'd left it too late. They had Chelsea, Arsenal, Aston Villa, Spice Girls, Che Guevara, Guinea pigs, Bichon Frisé (honest) and Nuns Having Fun .... but no Everton. Must be the price to pay for winning some recent matches.
You'll be relieved to know that I tracked it down on the last minute at Hilary's place - half price of course.
KAZ

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36 Comments:

Blogger Dave said...

You've got my address, haven't you? I trust Nuns Having Fun is in the post.

9:08 am  
Blogger Murph said...

There is always a big surplus in Nun's calendars.

9:24 am  
Blogger Murph said...

Oz say's he wants one of the Bichon Frise for the wall. I like the one with David Cameron chasing Bill Oddie - little husky arse.

9:27 am  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

You are unclear whether it is Everton or the ball which is in blue shirts.
Similarly, I am unclear whether Mr Kenwright owns Everton or the ball. If he owns the ball then the fact that their being able to play a game rests upon his being willing to loan them the ball for the duration perhaps explains why they are not as successful as their rivals. Living with that kind of suspense can be damaging. Albert Dunlop.

10:36 am  
Blogger Betty said...

We've received the crushing news this week that the French Bulldog calendar we'd ordered on the internet won't be arriving after all :(

So we'll have to hunt around for a half price calendar too - the only ones left will probably be Great Steam Engines or Bichon Frises ...

12:43 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

All that for a homoerotic picture of Phil Neville! Is he Mr May?

There are a lot of firemen calendars still available in the London Clintons. I think binmen have taken over as the ladies' fancy.

1:17 pm  
Blogger I, still, like the views said...

I once worked for a blue chip (do they serve those at Everton?) and they gave me a filopastryfactthingy

(you know, "time management" and all that?)(they blue chip then made me redundant whilst on maternity leave, I obviously wasn't managing my time very well)

anyhow, I buy an acedemic year calendar insert for it every summer

they are never reduced in price

:-(

I could learn a thing or two from you KAZ and shall pay more attention in future. . .

1:23 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

I want a nuns having fun calender.

All I've got at the moment is one from the Chinese takeaway which has no pictures of sexual shenanigans in habits whatsoever.

3:24 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

Kaz... you crack me up.. Quote: "It is the beta blocker of towns".

Ha! What dose that make Hyde... The Senokot LOL... and I wont mention Ashton...:O)

3:40 pm  
Blogger Malc said...

Woolies in Kirkwall had Everton calendars, along with Celtic, Rangers, Aberdeen and Hearts, at half price on Monday - can't think why.

3:49 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Dave:
Oh no it is not on its way.
In your present state of health you need rest - not stimulation.
I've booked you a fortnight at the Stockport Hilton.

Murph:
Is that like a big girl's blouse?

Murph again:
re the Bichon frise - are you sure that Oz doesn't want to eat it.
Old Bill Husky fatarse can hardly walk these days let alone pull a sled.

Vicus/Mr Dunlop:
Are you sure your other name is not Hermione Dugdale?
She wrote something very like that on one of my essays in 1963.
And the wound had almost healed.

Betty:
I didn't mention it but they still had a few 'Police' left.
I know how much you and Geoff love Sting.

Geoff:
At least we've escaped Wayne Rooney who will take Phil's place on the Red calendar.

Would that be 'dust'binmen - ideal for you as you're such an expert on the topic?

View:
Welcome back - sounds expensive -and I bet there's no pictures?

Garfer:
You must be a good customer.
I bet you're addicted to monosodium glutamate by now.

Wom:
Ashton is the 'chip butty with ladles of ketchup' of towns.
We could start a series.

Malc:
Those Scots must prefer nuns having fun and Bichon frises.
No accounting for taste.

4:16 pm  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

Wait, you went all the way there and DIDN'T get the Spice Girls?? Hmmm...

4:51 pm  
Blogger Rimshot said...

A once yearly trip to the bookstore!?!? oh the horror. I could not survive (well, there is Amazon).

I don't think I've ever purchased a calendar. Although, if you're taking orders: if they have one with greyhounds or guitars...I suppose I could bring myself to driving a nail through my pristine walls.

5:23 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

Thank you. Where is Stockport? It's not in East Angular, I'm sure.

5:54 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

Mikel? 7/10

I've got Gary Neville on my birthday this year on Himself's Full-Price-under-the-tree-to-be-opened-on-xmas-day, calendar, what a disappointment.

6:24 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

[Cherry]ride:
I know ....Inexplicable behaviour on my part.

Rimshot:
No No No - I visit a bookshop nearly every day - large, small or charity... but not in Stockport.
To get Guitars or Greyhounds you need to go in November at the latest.

Dave:
It is a small insignificant borough to the south of Manchester.
It thinks it's still in Cheshire

Ziggi:
As you will know Everton is not famous for the beauty of its players.
It's a pity they can't put the Basque on every page.

6:47 pm  
Blogger Rimshot said...

Oh my! I wasn't aware that there were such strict rules about such things. What month is required for pictures of babys dressed up as sunflowers?

6:51 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

'Babys as Sunflowers' forget the bookshop - go straight to the doctor!

6:57 pm  
Blogger The Oswegan said...

My wife loves the half price calendars. She makes cards and invitations out of them. Something I never would have thought up.

7:49 pm  
Blogger tony said...

Ummm "Everton" .yes I have heard of such things........(you know) I,m not a supporter of The Toffees (*sorry*) But ,it would be nice if they finished above Liverpool AFC.


Stockport.Its a really confusing place to drive around.I always get totally lost in the place & quickly move on........oh , And Why "Stockport County"? It's a County.very confusing!

11:36 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Half price already? They don't cut the prices until February down here in London.

Luckily we got one free with BBC Wildlife mag and one free with a Gardening mag. Both have several blue things in them but not Evertonians I think.

2:27 pm  
Anonymous Eamon said...

Hi

Interesting blog

I am from UK. It was very exciting for me to take the train from LA to Arizona - amazing countryside(and from Seattle to LA - However, the train broke down for a few hours in Northern California which was also an experience).

Was wondering whether you would like to exchange links.

My blog is on creative thinking, media, art, TV, film, animation and travel.

My background is in advertising account planning (planner: person behind 'big idea' in an advertising campaign, TV research, travel, writing, and more)

Eamon
www.creativethinkjuice.blogspot.com
eamon1972@hotmail.co.uk

2:32 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Oswegan (can I call you Os?)
If you used the Everton calendar for invititations I don't think anyone would turn up.

Tony:
'Moving on' is the best thing to do in Stockport.
The Hammers are OK but why not become a Toffee hammer??

NiC:
You should do your own Wildlife calendar.
I'd pay full price!

Eamon:
I liked the National Gallery and Rastro posts on your blog.

8:11 pm  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Roy Vernon. He was another one. There aren't many Alberts around these days are there? I wonder why. Even in 1960 when Mr Dunlop was playing for Everton there weren't many. Albert Cheeseborough played for Burnley and Leicester City. Not at the same time, despite having enough letters in his name to do so. I just thought that you would like to know.

11:42 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Vicus:
You've scored double points with Roy Vernon - he used to play for my Blackburn Rovers when I was a dedicated supporter. It was a sad day when he transferred to Everton.

Poor Albert Cheeseborough - makes me glad I'm called Kaz.

9:02 am  
Blogger Boz said...

Cough Dieux du Stade cough cough.

(splutters coffee, falls off seat, weeps etc etc)

12:01 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Well obviously my pictures are better than those on the BBC Wildlife one ;) but I don't like looking at my photos all year along. I do one for my mother. I'll add you to the list next year too.

1:15 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Boz:
Ah - Dieux de Stade - lovely.
But those blokes don't play with round balls do they?

NiC:
Obviously ;)
Sounds good - as long as you don't expect me to have any of those maternal feelings.

3:11 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

Albert Collins
Albert Stubbins

7:17 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Ziggi:
You must be an archivist for Alberts whose second name ends in ins.
This excludes minor Alberts like Schweitzer, Einstein and Camus (who was a goalkeeper).

7:46 am  
Blogger ziggi said...

those are Albert Foreigner!

6:43 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Sorry...
My Mistake!

11:21 pm  
Blogger homo escapeons said...

Canadian Calendars are always half price. They tear out October to March because we hibernate.

5:08 am  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Albert Quixall.
He had an Albert, a Q and an X.

9:14 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

HE:
Forget football calendars then - you could manage a relay team.

Vicus:
I now understand the rules
No foreign Alberts and Q and X score extra.

My favourite will always be Albert X Finney from Salford

10:03 am  
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