Wednesday, February 06, 2008


The consultant from the Dental Hospital wrote to my dentist and sent a copy to me.

The Letter started -

Dear Dr. Payne,
Re: Ms KAZ

I assessed this pleasant lady in the department today and I am pleased etc. etc......

Did she mean Me?

Surely Not - I'm not pleasant!

But I can be quite charming - Oh yes I can long as it's only for about 20 minutes at a time.
Any longer and the muscles in my face get very tired.

I'm good at the brief encounter - the chat on the corridor or over a swift coffee. And if someone seems to find me entertaining I usually avoid them next time as their expectations will be too high.

Nights out with my mates are OK.
They're all talkative types and not much is expected of me. I can throw in the odd witty quip, give a beaming smile and concentrate on not getting too drunk. If I drift off during a long winded tale (which I've usually heard before) no one seems to notice.

At the Dental Hospital chat was not required - just an open mouth.

Otherwise I try to restrict myself to bitesize quanta of social intercourse.



Blogger Murph said...

Are you definitely sure there was an "l" in the second word Kaz?

9:53 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

So she really thought I was an ady?

10:19 pm  
Anonymous Rimshot said...

Isn't Bitesize Quanta of Social Intercourse the name of the new James Bond film?

And Obviously this Dental Hospital consultant was referring to the pleasant LACK of small-talk. Either that or your legs.

3:20 am  
Blogger MJ said...

Should that Beauty Smile Trainer be placed in one of MY cavities, I could be pleasant too.

5:00 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Great post.

8:36 am  
Blogger Betty said...

Dr Payne: not a very promising name for a dentist, is it (a relative of mine used to have a GP called Dr Poorly).

I'm sure you are very pleasant, but she sounds very patronising!

10:07 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Perhaps dentists regard patients as pleasant when they a) don't scream, and b) don't bite......

And was your appointment at 2.30?

10:13 am  
Blogger tony said...

Pleasant is better than "nice".....?
Its one of those words that ,the more you think about it, the less it means? Infact! Now You Mention it, it doesnt describe the other person at all! Its about the person who meets you rather than You.Yourself.Your right!!!!

11:47 am  
Blogger Geoff said...

When I hear that word I always think of pleasant pheasant pluckers.

1:33 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

Dentists are all suicidal miserablists.

If he found you 'pleasant' he's probably about to start stalking you (with his drill in his pocket).

2:48 pm  
Anonymous Gert said...

If someone describes me as pleasant, I shudder in horror at how unpleasant the comparators must have been (eg the other patients...!)

4:46 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

Maybe the consultant was of and someone was 'Filling' for him.

5:43 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

My extensive research tells me that the new Bond is 'Quantum of Solace' - and SOLACE is 'Society of Local Authority Chief Executives'.
Ah well - You learn something new everyday.

If I were you I'd stick with the Jamieson's ..or Tony's rabbit.

Your total sincerity cannot be faulted.

And Walter Wall the carpet fitter - OK I know he's not medical.

I always try to be pleasant with patronising people who can inflict pain.

I find that smiling helps me to avoid biting or screaming.
No but it did and still does.

Possibly correct - I think she meant to say 'intelligent, good looking , perceptive' or something similar.

I always knew you were a pleasant phucker!

Sorry Garfer but he was a woman. They're only allowed floss.

Hello Again!
Yes - they probably bit and screamed and trembled with fear.

Many a true word spoken in jest.
This one was 'filling in' and hadn't had chance to get to know me properly.

7:01 pm  
Blogger Beth said...

"And if someone seems to find me entertaining I usually avoid them next time as their expectations will be too high."

Oh yes! I know that one.

8:40 pm  
Blogger Lubin said...

I want one of those smiler trainers!

1:19 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

So glad I'm not the only one with hopeless insecurities.
P.S. I saw your playlists confession - Hope Kevin pays well.

It's in the 'post'.

8:38 am  
Blogger I, still, like the views said...

I went to the dentist yesterday (root canal job in the not too distant future) and the dentist spent the whole time telling me how charming my daughter was. . .

perhaps her/your notes became mixed up


(can't smile, in pain)

10:28 am  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

After reading this a was draw of here to this site....

Try singing this over the weekend... see how pleasent you look then ha!

2:19 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

... and it really was at 2.30 - I read it over at your place.

Brilliant - 'The Pheasant Plucking Song' - I will print it out and save it for the next time I need cheering up.

2:48 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

*waves, pitifully*

6:36 am  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

I think "pleasant lady" is a codeword used by the dental profession. I know what it means but I can't tell as they've threatened to remove my fillings while I sleep.

1:46 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Yes, indeed, what a wonderfully damning word "pleasant" is when used so. One wonders whether all patients are described so or whether some really do get called "unpleasant". Is there a sliding scale and what is at the top I wonder.

1:49 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Remember Otis Redding?
'They call me Mr Pitiful' great track.(XX)

It means Georgeous Tramp. You're fillings are safe with me.

Well I don't think very very pleasant means anything does it? It's like very very satisfactory.

7:20 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Absolutely...pleasant is probably very slightly above very, very satisfactory.

12:01 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

However you say it - it's 'damning with faint praise' - I love that phrase.

7:34 pm  

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