Tuesday, April 15, 2008


One night last week Kev donned his black polo neck, false beard and well worn cords (that's a pun?) and set off for the "Willie Nelson Appreciation Society open mic night".

My frenzied anticipation for that perfect Pizza and cold bottle of Sauvignon had been building up all afternoon.

........ Only joking mine's Chilean but this does exist.

So I loaded the DVD ('Devil Wears Prada') and laid out my personal feast on the coffee table.

A few minute's later .. summat's up....

The pizza was untouched and ..... now listen because this is serious .... only one sip was missing from the glass. What could be wrong? I'd been feeling a bit shivery during the day.
During the night I formed a close face to face relationship with the toilet bowl.

The following morning Kev showed concern. I was spoiled. He made cups of tea and said consoling words.

I knew I wasn't better when I found myself watching 'Countdown' in the afternoon.

I haven't seen it since Richard Whiteley were a lad.

I thought Carol Vorderman was supposed to be slim and detoxed these days.


The following morning I felt decidedly better.

I was tempted to enjoy being an invalid for another day. But - hey, I couldn't afford the time.

I had a lot of idling to do.




Anonymous Rimshot said...

One certainly can not have illness interfere with one's idling.

I don't know who Carol Vorderman is, but I do know she's no Vannah White.

10:17 am  
Anonymous Rimshot said...

Erm... that'd be Vanna (color me embarrassed)

10:19 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Cut out the alcohol for a few weeks.

Tee-totalism has made me the man I am today.

10:42 am  
Blogger Murph said...

Countdown's excellent therapy for stomach bugs Kaz. Sometimes a good vowel movement is all that's needed.

Sorry to here that you've also been suffering from Willy Nelson - that's even more discomforting I believe.

12:50 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

I couldn't watch Countdown with a stomach upset. Seeing Des O'Connor is enough to induce gastric problems in otherwise healthy people.

Kev looks like Leonard Cohen? Phwoar. Can I trade Geoff in for him?

1:21 pm  
Blogger Donn said...

As Cohen would say,
"First we take Chilean
then we've taken ill."

What a drag. It is so desperately tedious to visit the vomitorium. I always feel like I've been possessed when I am regurgitating...
and now that I think of it, I haven't tossed my cookies since the mid 90s.

Did you finish the movie?

1:47 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

As far as detoxes go, it's a lot quicker than Carol's method.

As soon as I feel a bit queasy I reach for the travel sickness pills. But once one of those bugs get a hold of you there's no way back.

1:53 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

There ain't no cure
No pill
No drug

1:58 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Glad you're better.

Does Vorderman really still do that every day? Is there no end to her talents?

2:23 pm  
Blogger Kimberly said...

You have such a great way of making, what's assumingly an ordinary day for anyone else,seem fascinating. I'll bet you're fun to hang out with.

(I wish i did live in Europe, sometimes. Things seem so much simpler and to-the-point there)

2:47 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Great - I now know another of your sexy female presenters.
Vanna looks much more gamorous than Carol who got the job because she could do the hard maths.
She then went on a diet and got a bit above herself.

Er yes - but, remember I read your blog every day.

A good vowel movement is fine as long as one isn't inconsonant!

I was suprised to see Des in the chair. He seemed strangely subdued behind the permatan.
Yes....name the day.

'Vomitarium' 'tossed my cookies' you have a wonderful knack of glamorising these experiences.

No but I've seen it before on the big screen.
Loved Meryl Streep.

Yeah - look on the bright side etc.
I'm normally don't do bugs and things - the last time was on a trip to Prestatyn circa 2001.
I know - serves me right.

You have a lyric for every occasion - I wonder if that's in Kev's repetoire.
Then again I don't really want to know - do I?

Thanks - she must regard this as her pension as long as she can still so the sums - and I'm not sure she always does them all by herself. does she?

Ordinary day?
It don't get much more exciting that that for us Europeans.

3:37 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that you are living with a Willie Nelson fan

That is just awful. No pill for that I'm afraid, it's straight to the loonybin

Des as in Des and Mel? I love Des and Mel, I wish we had that here

4:40 pm  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

I loved you in the morning
You were technicolour yawning
Your head was down the dunny
Like a liquid laughing bunny.

See, it's not just the Canadians who can do Cohen lyrics. I am of the view that my words are more romantic than the original.

5:02 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

What Vicus didn't tell you is that I am his muse.

5:11 pm  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

Ugh. I've heard British daytime TV is even worse than US. I hope for your sake that isn't true.

5:29 pm  
Blogger tony said...

is that really Young Lenny?????? Wow.........

8:04 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Don't worry - I don't live with anyone - I'm a Lone Ranger and a Free Spirit.

Mel's a good Northern girl like me - but Des is a real saddo.

Yes, many loved before us, I know we are not new,
But only you dear Vicus - would stand by me while I spew!

Doesn't 'being a muse' involve giving favours of an intimate nature.
Do tell.

the [cherry]ride:
I must assure you that I don't indulge.
However, if you really want me to investigate on your behalf - I may be persuaded.

Wow indeed.
He looks like a left bank existentialist from the cafe Floré .

9:04 pm  
Blogger Malc said...

Looks like Vorderman had your pizza - or she's discovered the joy of pies.

1:33 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Carol always looked like a closet pie eater to me.

11:11 am  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

I am sick
I feel like crap
my nose is leaking
just want to nap

My sight is blurry
my throat just hurts
read medicine labels
for caution alerts

been drinking juices
and blowing my nose
my body screams aches
from head to my toes

won't go to the doctor
will just stay in bed
while gibberish poems
dance in my head

just watching TV
screening old movies
will old characters help
and simply behoove me

I'm seeking ideas
my head in a cloud
quiet shy ladies
or men who are loud

The story lines blur
as I fall fast asleep
thoughts are all jumbled
some goofy some deep

I wake up and ponder
what time is it now
juice and more vitamins
give false hope somehow

I hate being sick
my mind doesn't work
I wish I was healthy
my normal self quirk.

M.C. Messineo

11:20 am  
Blogger Ackworth Born said...

when Des O'Conner took over from Des Lynam it wasn't the best move - they should have got Tom O'Conner instead - he'd have made a good host or the lovely Jo Brand - either could put Carol in her place - I've seen some of the early countdown on video and she's gone quite a bit down in her attitude while getting above herself as well - now Richard has gone she thinks she's the star - can't stand the ads she puts her face to, but I like Countdown because the game is the thing and they do avoid the excesses of some of the quizzes [Deal or no deal just seems pointless - can't understand its appeal]

11:30 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Good to hear you're back to serious idling again.

Nothing like a good stomach bug for losing a bit of weight.

11:54 am  
Blogger Eamon said...

The guy in top picture looks like Al Pacino.

4:20 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Thanks for the lovely pome - I think I'm back to my 'normal self quirk' by now.

Jo Brand and Carol - what a wonderful proposition.

You are right - I was very impressed with the contestants who are so clever and yet so modest.

You're looking on the positive side today - it must be spring at last.

Jewish/Italian - Depressive/Agressive.
Lenny and Al.

6:13 pm  
Blogger T-Bird said...

Well, it appears that large doses of Kutnow's does have some sort of side effect.

Hope you feel better so that your can idle and wear and wonderful Ivana bee-hive!

9:40 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

How smart of you to make the connection.
Mine's more Patsy beehive.

11:44 am  
Blogger Hyde DP said...

Just watched today's Countdown - Carol was going on about her flight with red arrows
when it came to the last numbers game - Carol hadn't got it - not only had I worked it out, but so had Jo Brand!

4:16 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Oh I really wish I'd seen that - I hope she took it well.
And well done to you Gerald - I'm not too brill on the mental arithmetic.

8:37 pm  
Blogger liits said...

Not that I have ever had to use this, but the measure of women was devised by the late, great Victor Kiam [so good he bought the company].
When gents are buying apparel for their ladies, the men's [idiots] guide to getting the right size was defined in the following measures;
Ping Pong
Ding Dong
King Kong
My way of measuring men falls into only two measures
I need KY
I don't need KY

7:27 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Isn't Vaseline cheaper?
Lilts - does this go with the post above? I'm a bit confused.

8:02 pm  
Blogger liits said...

Sorry, this should have gone with "The Measure for Men". Actually, I use neither. Freedoms come with Liquid Silk[for when it's needed]. Vaseline leave marks on the sheets and has resulted in handprints on the wall over the headboard!

8:50 pm  
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4:19 am  

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