Monday, April 21, 2008

Hot Pot Salad

So daft Delia has been teaching us how to make a pie from a tin of Pedigree Chum ,desiccated onions and Polyfilla. I have to admire her motives - not the one to get huge amounts of money from Asda for product placement - but her attempt to make cooking quicker and easier for people who can't afford servants.



Though wouldn't it make more sense to just buy a ready meal and pop it in the microwave?




No labradors were hurt in the making of this meal - I hope. Shouts to Murph 'Are you OK?'


Elsewhere, the madness continues. The Yorkshire representative in ‘The Great British Menu’ had 29 ingredients in his starter including duck tongues (oh no my poor little ducks), bee pollen and smoked rhubarb (which he smoked with his own cigar).


The chap from Lancashire made 'Hot Pot salad' as my gran rolled in her grave.


The Grauniad gives us Allegra McGreedy

Recently she chose ‘Spatchcock Poussin, aïoli and capered greens‘.

Which one is the bird, I wondered - the spatchcock or the poussin?
It turns out that poussin is the bird (apparently it’s a Spring Chicken - unlike myself).


Spatchcocking is a skill.



Learn to do it here but make sure the bird is dead before you start.

Beans on toast anyone?


KAZ

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26 Comments:

Blogger Mopsa said...

I have a feeling that Delia is turning into Margaret Thatcher; power crazed loons the pair of them. And then there's the talking with god thing. Every day. Oh my.

9:30 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

This is not the Betty's Hot Pot that I am familiar with.

*suddenly feels uncomfortable and out of place*

Next thing I know, you'll be telling me the streets over there aren't cobbled.

11:02 pm  
OpenID wyndham said...

Delia cooking rubbish is just wrong - she should just reach straight for the bottle.

11:05 pm  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

I had a nasty infestation of spatchcock once.

Please stop encouraging the consumption of corpses. Rice, beans and vegetables. Don't need anything else.

11:33 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

you are speaking in tongues (not little duckling ones I hope)

7:45 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I am afraid that I am turning into Vicus. Please send me a large steak.

7:55 am  
Blogger Betty said...

The picture of the spatchcocked - er - cock - is the sort of thing I usually see on Infomaniac. What a carry on. Is this turning into a specialist pornography site?

8:41 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Mopsa:
Does Delia talk with god??
It doesn't seem to help Norwich city much does it?

mj:
Don't worry Hot Pot and cobbles are still the same.
But the community spirit in the Rovers disappeared in 1953.

Wyndham:
Yes - but I think she prefers to drink her Stella straight from the can.

Vicus:
You should behave yourself.

I don't eat corpses - but I must have pizza.

Ziggi:
At least that spatchcocking doesn't remove the tongue.
Just the head.

Dave:
I think you've had your steak allocation for this week.
It's nuts and berries from now on, just like Yogi Bear

Betty:
Well I do visit mj every day - so I'm bound to be influenced by her infinite good taste.
That picture is specialist pornography for vegetarians.

9:22 am  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

I'm in trama from that last picture.. I have dreams about stuff like this and my by-pass operation... it could even be a clip from an awful program Janes is watching at the moment .. Desmond.. I am not eating ever ever again now.
Your starving friend from Hyde..

9:50 am  
Blogger Malc said...

I like Delia better when she's ranting on the pitch. It was always going to end in tears once things went tits up at Carrow Road.


Anthony Flinn is clearly booked into the padded cell next to Delia's. One more ingredient should push him completely up his own backside.

11:19 am  
Blogger I, still, ♥ the views said...

I haven't seen DS's new shows, but was brought up on her original "How to Cook" and then in the early 90s indulged myself in the summer and winter books. . .

don't like baked beans, but I'll have a slice of toast if there's any going spare!

:-)

1:17 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

Delia's from round here, you know. So should be a Charlton fan.

Er, and so should I.

What exactly is wrong with a ready meal, Delia? It's food, it tastes reasonably ok and it's not going to kill you.

1:43 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

"Chicken in Labrador" is just a dream in this house Kaz.

And wasn't Alfred Spatchcock a director of birds?

2:47 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Wom:
You've made me feel awful now!
Go on - have a nice big jam butty on Hovis.

Do I know Jane's Desmond?
His second name isn't O'Connor is it?

Malc:
That Anthony Flynn is totally insane - I hadn't heard of him until this programme.
For his next course he made mozzarella 'smoke bombs' with his own smoke gun and served them with cockerels' crests and chicken popcorn.

View:
Her new shows are very controversial.
Toast coming up - fancy some marmalade?

Geoff:
I always wanted Jack or Bobby to be manager at Charlton.

Delia's problem with ready meals is that she couldn't make them spin out to a book and a programme and a DVD and oodles of dosh.

Murph:
We all need our dreams Murph - I thought of you last night when BCS was advertised during Corrie.

No - that was Bill Oddie.

3:23 pm  
Blogger Donn said...

I feel a tingling in my 'swimsuit area' whenever I even hear the term spatchcocking...*shudders

Isn't 'Chum' the mangled fish bits & juices that they use to attract Sharks?

3:28 pm  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

I think Delia's going through the menopause.

4:25 pm  
Blogger The [Cherry] Ride said...

What the hel is Chicken Lababdor??

8:06 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Donn:
Ha Ha 'swimsuit area'. You are a maestro of the euphemism.
Do you make 'em up?
I suppose 'Pedigree' chum would attract a better class of shark.

Nora:
I don't think so.
At around 67 she's well past that.

the[cherry]ride:
My spelling checker wants it to be 'labrador'.
But that's illegal so it must be an Indian cookery term.

9:47 pm  
Anonymous Rimshot said...

Well, the duck tongue thing would explain Daffy's and Donald's speech impediments.

As to eating corpses, if Vicus and Young Dave aren't having theirs, I'd hate to see them go to waste. I suppose I could manage another corpse or seven in my gullet.

2:34 am  
Blogger Roses said...

Delia is a complete baggage; she always does an impression of a diva when she pops in for a book signing. She's got so far up herself you'd need a spatchcock to find her.

Had duck last night...yummy.

8:35 am  
Blogger tony said...

aint it strange how food has become sexy?
Anyhow...have you heard of DOCK PUDDING? It's only really made down here in The Calder Valley.Weve just had The Annual Dock Pudding Championship held each year in Mytholmroyd.
nb.......no real Dockers are hurt in the making of this(due to the labour shortage.)although there is talk of importing Polish Dockers From Gdansk) in future years............

11:51 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Rimshot:
I could never understand a word.
I think you'll find Vicus and Young Dave will scoff fleisch with the best of them.

Roses:
Perhaps she needs a good spatchcocking herself.
Eat duck??
You must go to the pond with a large Warburton's sliced to make amends.

Tony:
I'm amazed to admit that I have never hear of Dock pudding. I suppose it's a different dock from the one you use to take the pain out of a nettle sting.
The article mentions Robbie Coltrane who has obviously eaten too many of them.

3:47 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

oh! Kaz.. what a plonker I am.. I really must pay more attention to what Jane watches.. it's Dexter not Desmond...

I have been wearing a heart monitor for the last week I took it back to 'Shameside' today and the nurse asked how I found it..... I said "On my chest where you left it" ha! it did not go down well.. not even a smile.

11:17 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Thanks Plonker - is that the one where the cop is a serial killer? Sounds great.
If you can't have a laugh in 'Shameside' what can you do?

9:32 am  
Blogger Hyde DP said...

I never watch those food progs - looked at that recipe 10 duck tongues all that sugar and a cigar and it took something like 18 hours to prepare and cook.
Weight Watchers Beef Hotpot takes 7mins 30secs in the mircrowave and costs a quid. I'm off to stock up later.

10:08 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Gerald:
I must admit that I find those competitive cooking programmes can be addictive in a horrific sort of way.
Enjoy your Hotpot - don't get too thin like John Prescott.

11:30 am  

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