THe Measure for MEN.
I'm assuming that you are pasty faced and will never see 40 again.
With apologies to Weekend Guardian
* Insouciance: No - not exactly the Don Johnson look - but something similar. Crumpled, shapeless jacket made of linen or cotton - possibly with jeans and tee shirt.
* Big Coats: You don’t have to be a Lord Mayor - as Ken may soon discover when he has more time to spend with his children.
* Earrings: Daniel has two. But not the suit puleese.
* Muted Colours: Plus a bit of white - better the tee shirt than the hair - but Richard looks great.
* Boring shorts: Not too long like Kevin & Perry and not too short - behave - you'll be wearing a thong next! Oh - and don't keep your tool kit in the pockets.
* Man at H&M: Great gear.
X Man at C&A: Gone for ever - You will never wear Angelo Litrico again!
X Buttercup yellow, cherry red, strawberry pink, lime green, African violet. Avoid fruit and flowers. Remember that key word 'muted' stick to olive, chocolate, charcoal or even navy.
If you want to play golf - just piss off - NOW!
X Scrawny necks: Yes men have them too - try a casual scarf in a muted colour. Cotton or silk in summer. One of these blokes is a rich spoiled darling of the international jet set. The other is the son of Princess Caroline of Monaco.
X Shirts tucked into jeans: NO no no no - never ever - unless you have a figure like Antony Perkins in 'Psycho'.
X Footy shirts: Especially red ones?
Labels: Not Jeremy Clarkson