Unscrewing
As you know, I'm an old skool feminist - so I hate acting like a weak woman who needs to ask a man to do something for me.
However, I am a (very) weak woman .
But I usually manage OK with my power drill and my power screwdriver and this tool for opening jars and bottles that I found on Stockport Market.
Paying money to a handyman for a specialist job is OK - so there's Roy for electrics and Eugene (yes Eugene) for the plumbing.
But I still can't cope with this.....
.... it's not really a question of strength - perhaps it's just girly ineptitude - but I still can't get the bloody top off.
So, how about this for a solution?
When he's leaving my flat this evening I'll say "Oh Kev, can you just clean the bog on your way out ....please".
Good eh?
KAZ
posted by KAZ at 7:46 pm
28 Comments:
If it were a bottle of nice red wine I bet you'd find a way to open it.
All those years of manly fretwork, it shouldn't be much of a problem for Kev.
Geoff: Why aren't you writing your Beryl poems anymore? I miss 'em!
Kaz: I have the same problems with cartons of Pomegreat. They blister my hands trying to open them and I have now given in and Mr Flaming has to open them for me. Bah!
Wouldn't your handy-dandy power drill do the job?
That jar opening tool looks more like something you stole from your gynecologist's office.
Jar and bottle tops are easy to remove if you have a rubber glove on your hand.
Toilet cleaner is easy to open if you pinch the sides of the top in the right places - what I can never open is the disinfectant; it needs the top pinched in and then at the same time pushed very hard down as you turn it.
My solution is to leave the top loose.
use your teeth
Dave:
I bet you are right.
I have a large selection of cork screws, levers, wrenches and spanners for such purposes - plus the Stockport tool for the screw tops.
Geoff:
'Years of manly fretwork' - but no manly hard work.
Nora:
I'm sure Geoff would take requests.
Amazing what you learn from Blogging.
Now I know about Pomegreat - is that what keeps you so young and talented?
Rimshot:
Good idea - I'll just charge it up.
mj:
I know what you mean - just to look at it always makes me cringe.
Stitch:
You should send these tips to 'TV Quick' - you'd make a fortune.
But re the 'side pinching' I can never find the right place to pinch.
Ziggi:
I once broke my front tooth when trying to pull a molecular model apart.
So now I just use them for opening beer bottles.
Just get the plumber to do it.
Careful with that stop-cock, Eugine.
Leave the bleach bottle top sort of half open. I had to do that when I had the broken wrist.
Childproof pill bottles are my nightmare. Oh, and Marmite jars which seem to seal up if you don't open them for a couple of weeks, and you have to run the top under hot water for ages and wrestle about until you open the jar, then you're covered in Marmite.
Murph:
For a £30 call out fee he can do what he likes with his stopcock.
Betty:
Hope the wrist is OK now.
Marmite - I've never tried it 'cos I don't like it.
Take it back to Tesco and get the customer service matron to do it for you. Complain enough and they might pour it into a ketchup bottle for you.
You made me laugh. I'm the same way, very independent in every way except for opening receptacles and doing handywoman work. I also think it would help if the diagram wasn't so silly looking... What is that? Can't they just SAY "Pinch the sides and turn the cap?" Would it kill them? I feel like throwing your jar-opener at these people.
Hello pj:
OOh I love the idea of a customer service matron. I hope she looks like Hattie Jacques and will let me rest my head on her copious bosom.
Carmentza:
Er - yes but can you throw something else as I need my jar opener? I think it could be a genuine antique.
That diagram makes the IKEA self assembly instructions look helpful.
Don't you have a chainsaw?
Curse those childproof containers!
Take a hacksaw to it, or even better, take it to the shop that sold it to you and ask them to come clean your bog.
Eugineski would be cheaper?
Re;Tops........dont you turn them upside down while under water or something? (or was that just Micheal Barrymore.......)
I have much the same problem with 'Lids' Kaz... only it is the other way around... I struggle putting them back on.. Like the 'Cookie Jar'.. once off thats it... must eat all... Cake Tin.. much the same... once off. Must Eat All
All the best
tom
Donn:
Do they make childproof chain saws?
Mopsa:
I've been to a couple of assertiveness courses - but even they didn't teach how to get Tesco to clean your bog.
Still - there's always a first time.
Tony:
I hope Mr Barrymore sues you and not me.
Wom:
(giggles at yet another of Wom's confessions).
At least you didn't mention 'cake pie in a barm cake' - so I detect an improvement.
Re girls and power tools, have you ever seen this pop video -Satisfaction by Ben Benassi? A hilarious send up of the use of sexy women in pop videos and a masterwork in marketing for power tools/pop too! Cracks me up every time I watch it!
http://www.metacafe.com/watch/45029/satisfaction_by_benny_benassi/
Laura
That's great - Getting a grip on the power drill always gives me a personality change.
Must remember to wear red lipstick next time I use it!
Regarding earlier post:
I have a fear of Clowns. They freak me out pretty bad, so you can immagine my trips to Jack-n-the-Box and McDonalds as a little kid were horrifying!!!
Another is crowds, I just can't breath.
The only "Labling" of a fear that I don't get is, why do they call it a fear of heights, when after being up there (when the fear sets in),Shouldn't it be a fear of the ground??
I can usually manage the caps that you just have to squeeze but before that you have to get all the cellophane stuff off the new bottle first and by the time I've done that I'm too tired to squeeze anything.
Hi Kimberley:
Clowns can be terrifying
Whatever you call it - anyone who doesn't fear 'heights' is an idiot
Gerald:
That cellophane is everywhere - whatever they use to stick it together is impossible to unstick.
Then you always have more left than you started with.
Ha ha ha! Now that Tesco do anything to get our money perhaps a bog cleaning service is the right next step?
That jar lid remover thingy looks like something out of the museum in Edinburgh which displays all the old instruments or torture.
WOW!! I love the spontenaity of your sight. And you do have fantastic taste in music. especially the Motown & older blues.... But Jimmy Saville??
Well, I guess my "Between the Sheets" fantasy will forever be Bob Dylan, so I'm biased to anything else, really. I just couldn't imagine anything finer.
(Hmmmm...I guess that also sets the bar pretty high for any other guy.... Which explanes alot, now that i'm thinkin' of it)
But anyway, You go girl with your Bad~Ass self!!
Mopsa:
I wonder if you could get clubcard points as well.
Servidores:
Thanks for the hug!
Malc:
Well I did get it from an antique (junk) stall. It didn't come with instructions - so who knows what it was meant to be?
Kimberley:
Bob Dylan would be a hard act to follow.
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