Monday, May 19, 2008

Magpies

Question 1:
Who wrote John Prescott’s recent autobiography?

Ans:
Hunter Davies.

Question 2:
Who wrote Cherie Blair’s recent autobiography?

Ans:
Cherie Blair.

Hunter Davies asked her if he could write it and she said No!

Hunter (who gave their sprog a name like that in 1936?) also wrote (or ghost wrote which amounts to the same thing) the autobiographies of Gazza and Wayne Rooney. He is most famous for writing about the Beatles.

Hunter’s wife - the famous novelist Margaret Forster - is to be pitied. She must live in a separate house to cope with Hunter’s collecting habit. He collects everything including headed notepaper, old tins and Botswana baskets (it’s true).

The main function of collections is to gather dust.

Although it’s mainly a male thing I have had my moments.

You’ve already met the Mickey Mice.


Then there were the flying ducks and the Tretchikoffs.

They’ve all gone, but the badges remain - they are just going rusty in a drawer.

I’ve no idea where the Bay City Rollers came from... honest.

click to enlarge.

Does anyone recognise BRSC?
Do you or did you ever collect anything?

KAZ

34 Comments:

Anonymous NiC said...

Well, I just opened the drawer that I thought contained my badge collection (including I think about half a dozen in common with yours) but there only seem to be three badges in it. One of them says "I am 29"....I suppose I was once. But where are all the others???? This will now worry me all day.

I also collect gig tickets...and they're all still there.

And guitars (5). And cameras (11).

I'm better than I used to be but there's still an awful lot of what I call ephemera and Mrs.LDNP calls rubbish about the place.

12:26 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

*looks around at the accumulated flotsam and jetsom*

I don't even know where to begin but let's just say that Pee-wee Herman would feel at home here.

In fact, there's a Pee-wee talking doll looking at me as I type!

"I know you are but what am I?"

12:56 pm  
Anonymous Gert said...

I recognise quite a few of those badges. I used to collect badges but over the years I have redistributed them to badge-collecting young relatives. I still have my Manchester Nuclear Free City pen! did you have the teddy bear CND badges? I think they came from Marple CND but were sold in the shop in Manchester (near Peter Square?).

I also collect mugs.

1:29 pm  
Anonymous Gert said...

I'm guessing that BRSC is either Blackburn Rovers Sailing Club or Blackburn Rovers Supporters Club - it's the quarters that do it for me.

1:31 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

You could still wear that Don't Blame Me I Voted LABOUR badge now.

I was talking to Betty the other night about how I used to collect stamps when I was a kid. Just used to send away for a whole bunch of cheap ones. Magyar Posta were my favourites. I started collecting British first day covers but that didn't last very long.

Do CDs and DVDs count?

1:57 pm  
Blogger Ackworth Born said...

and the week after you chuck your prized possessions (or accumulated rubbish according to your better half) in the bin - you see it on TV being sold for a bomb and you feel sick.

2:12 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

NiC:
I wish my badges would just disappear - it would be easier than actually parting with them.

5 guitars? Sounds familiar - I hope you have a soundproofed room.

mj:
Canada we have a problem.
Pee-wee Herman??

I know the name but that's about it! Google was no help, apart from outlining his arrests for sex offences.
But I'm sure my badges didn't remind you of that.

Gert:
Yes I'm sure there's still a teddy bear lurking about somewhere.

Spot on for BRSC - but not the sailing - I'm much more a footie sort of gal.

Geoff:
Very Ironic eh?
Yes - I remember Magyar Posta - that's another collection in a drawer somewhere.

CDs live forever unlike useless badges.
But that doesn't necessarily include that Scott Walker one that I bought in Asda.

Gerald:
Ouch!
I'm hopeless at selling anything.
The only time I negotiated a decent price for something - the cheque bounced.

2:34 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Here’s a wee peek inside Pee-wee’s Playhouse.

And yes, that’s Cyndi Lauper singing the theme tune.

2:45 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

mj:
*Rushes for Imigran*
Just for the record - remember I live in a white cube.

So my blog is my junk room.

3:43 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

I'm so pleased to see you were in the Tufty Club Kaz.

Weren't you the mascot at one time?

4:05 pm  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Somewhere I've got a bag full of those medals they used to hang round your neck just before you threw up at the end of a half marathon.

And the only badge I seem to have kept from the time when I went to folk festivals reads "wearing badges is not enough".

4:28 pm  
Blogger Gordie said...

I never liked Hunter Davies, so well done Cherie for avoiding him. His Rooney "auto" biography has just resulted in a massive libel payout to David Moyes of Everton as well.

When I saw the title, I thought this was going to be a Chorley F.C. post.

4:37 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

Bognor Regis Swimming Club!

http://www.bognorswim.co.uk/

Have I won something?

(I was in the twinkle club.)

7:40 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Murph:
No - the mascot was Chris Evans - he's got the right hair colour.

N.B. Your insolence has been noted!!

Stitch:
That's very true.
Folk festivals? You never confessed about those before.

Gordie:
Moyes is my hero - I hope he got oodles of cash.

Ah yes - the Magpies. Although my cousin supported Chorley - I turned left at the end of the street instead of right and caught the BRSC bus to Ewood Park.

Ziggi:
I thought of that - but it was a long way from home - especially when I had to come back on the bus with wet hair.

9:13 pm  
Blogger Gareth said...

postcards, and crap boyfriends

9:26 pm  
Blogger Mopsa said...

Books, and now it seems, blogs too. And that Hunter Davies piece about ghost writing in the Saturday Guardian made me want to punch him. Self satisfied, puffed up name dropper.

9:34 pm  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

The fucking Tufty Club????? How sad is that?

I've only ever collected miserable memories.

12:42 am  
Blogger Roses said...

I collect perfume. But I have had a crafty give-away, so now I only have 14 bottles on my dressing table.

8:31 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

I used to collect erasers and pencils but not anymore though and I've given them all away.

Now I collect Kylie records which is quite expensive to be honest.

Love the Mickey Mice although I must say in the cartoons he was always the annoying one.

9:08 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I have the same collection as Stitchy. Except I didn't have to throw up to get mine. And some are for full marathons, as well as half ones.

9:21 am  
Blogger garfer said...

I collect small children so that I may tutor them in the ways of righteousness.

Tufty Club? How sad is that? I was in the Puffin Club.

9:41 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Gareth:
Make sure the crap boyfriends all send you a postcard in future. Then it wasn't such a waste of your time.

Mopsa:
I could never take to anyone with such a stupid moustache.

Piggy:
Miserable memories?
I knew you had a sensitive side.

Roses:
Do you only wear one at a time?

Pete:
I'm so glad you didn't say 'rubbers' - that can lead to misunderstanding.
The good thing about Mickey is the lovely colours black, white, red and yellow.

Dave:
Ah Dave you are a man of many talents.
I don't suppose you like knitting as well.

Garfer:
Well it's about time somebody sorted them out - we need more righteousness.

Puffin club was for swots!

12:14 pm  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

I love watches and pens and stationary products in general (I think most writers do), but I've been remarkably restrained about not accummulating untold thousands.

Books are probably my downfall, but even they will occasionally get weeded with the odd one making it as far as the charity shop.

Your badge collection made me smile - a veritable social history!

12:14 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

Tufty Club ... I had one.. I have collected different stuff in the past.. Street Signs, Lamps, Guinness Stuff. Hornsea Pottery. Old Tools... lot of daft stuff... now it's mostly dust I collect.. ;o)
I also collected tractors.. but I had to rid of them.. so now I'm an Ex tractor Fan. :O)

12:18 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Oh dear, the fun MJ would have had with that one

*pheew!*

12:57 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Laura:
I have to keep out of stationery shops - too much temptation.

I'm beginning to feel like a social history on legs.

Wom/Tom:
Street signs - great - did you go round with a ladder and a screw driver?

Love that last 'Ex tractor' pun.
Worthy of Murph at his very best.

Pete:
I would have enjoyed that.
But you would be right there with a 'cutting riposte'!

2:02 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

Quote: "Street signs - great - did you go round with a ladder and a screw driver?" Yes in face I did on some of the older enameled ones. I had a great collection of chimney pots... but they got sold along with a lot other stuffwhen I came out of work after the heart attack... Now I collect them :O)

3:03 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Will you be parading your fabulous handbags for us to see too?

7:19 pm  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

*hopes not*

7:51 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Wom/Tom:
You should write your life story - why not give Hunter Davies a ring?

Pete:
Er - I may have exaggerated /lied a bit about those bags.

Piggy:
Don't worry - see above.

9:36 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Don't worry darling. As long as you don't lie about your shoes

that's punishable by law to 50 hours at the black board writing

'I must not lie about shoes'

9:15 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
Shoes?
See your meme above.

8:44 am  
Blogger I, like the view, still said...

how bizarre (about the Mickeys)

I have a Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs collection. . . it's quite small, compared to your Mickey collection, but does proudly feature seven 6' high dwarves in the original true Disney hues - you know, the soft tones they have now replaced with far too vibrant shades - with the proper facial expressions amd body gestures, made out of a kind of 50s rubbery/plascticy stuff; a pound each at a jumble sale a number of years ago)

10:04 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

I love that film and the characters.

I once played a dwarf (Bashful) in a Christmas Pantomime.
The other six were all 6 foot blokes.

10:19 am  

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