Saturday, May 24, 2008

Seeya Soon!

Bye for now
I'm off to Spain on Tuesday.

I know I know.


I realise that while I'm away - especially if your work is hard and the weather is bad - you'll come to resent me, despise me and (more probably) forget me.

When I return I know I'll have to come round to your place and ingratiate myself.

I shall write sycophantic selections from the following in your comments box.
  • 'Great post'
  • 'LOL that made me laugh so much I spluttered coffee all over the keyboard'
  • 'I shall nominate you for Blogger of the Century award' ...or ..
  • Your babies are so adorably cute
No. That last one is just too ridiculous!

Anyway I'll soon be flying off ..
... and of course I'm expecting Thierry to be waiting for me at Barcelona Airport as usual.

Don't do anything I'd like while I'm gone

KAZ
XXX

Labels:

98 Comments:

Anonymous Rimshot said...

Have a wonderful time! I'm quite jealous. I've long wanted to visit Spain.

(feelings of resentment rising)

6:02 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

Why don't you emigrate? You seem to spend most of your time in Spain anyway. Lucky cow.

Slap a Diego for me.

6:48 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

Great post :) Great blog :) I laughed so much I snorted a baby elephant out of each nostril :) Linked to your blog over at mine :)

Enjoy yourself and have enjoy Thierry. Actually, I've told the paparazzi and they'll be greeting you at the airport as well. It'll make a change for them after taking all those topless pictures of Lily Allen in Cannes, after all.

7:28 pm  
Blogger tony said...

Have A Fab Time .how,s the water?

7:48 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

enjoy yourself. take plenty of bottled water :D

7:49 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Rimshot:
You could get some tan in abottle, buy a stuffed donkey and visit the nearest Tapas bar.

Garfer:
When I was in primary school I learned that Britain was best place in the world with the perfect temperate climate and the wonderful Royal family to respect and emulate.

All that heat and sangria can make a gal behave badly.

Betty:
Snorting baby elephants out of our nostrils is the nearest we'll ever come to giving birth.
Paparazzi? *Rushes off to dye roots, wax entire body and apply tan from bottle*.

Tony:
Thanks.
Water? I'm not going to swim over there.

Pete:
Don't worry I'll stick with the bottled gin.

8:58 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Enjoy yourself!

(..and ask Thierry when he's copming back to Arsenal)

9:23 pm  
Blogger Gordie said...

Enjoy yourself. Do what you can to undermine Real Madrid, over Ronaldo, Franco, and everything else. If you get papped, just act outrageously, and if you're not drunk and minus underwear, act as if you are. (When it comes to Lily Allen, I'm with Perez Hilton, Betty)

10:46 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

I've never been to Spain, either. I have been to Manchester though.

7:17 am  
Blogger Murph said...

How can you tear yourself away from this gorgeous bank holiday weather?

My advice in Spain is taken from Val Doonican, who wisely said "Walk Tall Walk Straight and look the World right in the Knee".

Have a LOL'ly time Kaz!

12:24 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

Spain is in mourning after their Eurovision song's disappointing poll result. Go and cheer them up with your Andy Abraham t-shirt.

Have a great time and send the weather over to Cornwall for the next month.

12:44 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

NiC:
I'll try.
I know he wants to - but I wonder if Sir Alex could tempt him - then he could fly back with me on Ryanair.

Gordie:
I love Fergie's attitude.
I'll be in Catalunya where they hate Madrid and the rest of Spain.
They think Barcelona is the national team.

Dave:
Spain and Manchester have much in common.
Both are football mad, muticultural paradises.
You probably don't need me to point out the differences.

Murph:
I'm afraid you're wrong again.
I looked it up and Val actually said

Walk tall, walk straight and look the world right in the knee
That's what my mama told me when I was only three
But I was young and foolish then and rushing round in haste
Now I see and understand and look her in the waist.


Geoff:
Serves them right after what they did to Sir Cliff.
I may not 'see' you two before you go - so have great time.

1:25 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

I'm laffing so hard my uterus fell out.

I have no use for it anyway.

3:20 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

Miss you already.. :O)

3:28 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

mj:
You should sell it for a great deal of money.
It would make some barren rich woman very happy!

Tom:
The feeling is mutual. :0(

7:37 pm  
Blogger Mopsa said...

As if you'd comment so cornily! I expect suntanned nuggets of wisdom on your return. Have a ball.

7:41 am  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

Don't forget our stick of rock!

Is it one of those 'Sun Reader' holidays?

I bet it is.

11:38 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Have a fabulous trip to Spain.

Don't forget the colourful umbrella drinks this time.

We need photographic proof (60%?).

12:05 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Mopsa:
Suntanned nuggets of wisdom?
I fear the factor 30 may prevent that - but I'll try my best.

Piggy:
How did you guess?
Full English every morning and Bingo every night.

Pete:
Thanks
I will try my best - but those 'colourful umbrellas' don't come cheap you know.

4:04 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

What are you getting at?

I'm not paying for your drinking

4:36 pm  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

*repeats.... 'Don't forget our stick of rock'*

Again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again...

Until the message sinks in that we really would like a stick of Spanish rock, even if it is just a mint one (as opposed to some other exotic flavour).

And even if it does just have a tacky black and white pic stuck onto it in a way that means it wont come off and resultingly that we have to eat the paper too.

5:58 pm  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

And will there be any pics of you getting drunkenly shagged up the arse by some Spanish pre-op tranny?

5:59 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Annoying old poofs.

Kaz, just do what they say and bring back their stick of rock.

Here's what I did...

I waited 'til I got back from my hols and then bought them a stick of rock from a British shop in my own town.

They were none the wiser!

I'm still laughing over that one.

6:14 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete and Piggy and Tazzy:
Right - colourful umbrellas and stick of rock. Leave it to me.

Ignores question about Spanish tranny

mj: (whispers) thanks for the advice - I'm not sure they even
have rock in Spain - isn't it a British secret how they get the name all the way through?

I have to go to bed now - early flight tomorrow.
Shhh ...

7:32 pm  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

Have a good flight, darling.

Just remember the first 7 seconds is the most dangerous (if you don't consider th terrorists that may be on the same flight).

Oh and the landing.

8:13 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

I planted a shrub type thing today to offset your carbon footprint.

9:04 pm  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

Shrub type thing? Is that the new scientific name for cannabis plants?

Anyway...

Has she gone yet? Does that mean we can gossip about her now?

I bet the dirty minx has already got her knickers at her ankles as she attempts to blag herself a hunky Spaniard.

Thats of course if she was wearing any in the first place. I hear she normally doesn't.

10:59 pm  
Blogger Donn said...

I promise to just write crap until you are back....wish me luck.

My Daughter who just returned from bummin' around Europe LOVED Barcelona...and not just because Manuel from Fawlty Towers was born there.

6:01 am  
Blogger DeeDubya said...

wish I was in Spain right now

11:07 am  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

I'll offset your holiday carbon footprint against the fact it'll be a very long time until I can afford to go on holiday again!

Have a peachy, beachy time & give Thierry my love.

4:55 pm  
Blogger Abraham Lincoln said...

Nice post.

8:32 pm  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

I'm twiddling my thumbs until you return. Obviously, I had to stop twiddling them as I typed this post otherwise it would have read:

dajkltawo57qafnk.dan,ktlq63915p26yafdba.kdasbj.ty4q9p65yab.fj.akfd

9:55 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

I bought some new shoes and they're not DMs so that won't count against not doing something you like.

or don't ...

?


whatever

5:03 pm  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

Are you back yet?

Where's our stick of rock?

8:56 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

I hope it went well.. hows yer tan?

1:56 pm  
Blogger Abraham Lincoln said...

Have fun.

12:51 am  
Blogger ziggi said...

HA! It's your fault isn't it? You're over there flirting and Ronaldo is off to find you.

I shall never forgive you.

3:15 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

By heck lass I'm missing your humour...

Sad Sack from HYDE

3:26 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

Are you back yet? Did you have fun? Land a Spanish hunk?

My contribution to your readership's offsetting the carbon, for your holiday....I didn't do the dishes while you've been away.

My boy informs me that algae produce more oxygen than plants/trees. So I'm hoping the same goes for molds and mosses.

5:17 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

Roses, is that true about algae? Does it mean if I don't clean the pond I can join Kaz in Spain d'you think?

Do you think she's been arrested?

7:04 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

ziggi ~ my Boy says so, and he's the scientific one of the family. A mucky pond = good for the environment. And more time to have a glass of wine!

I think this is known as a win-win situation.

As for Kaz, she's definitely MIA. Perhaps she just got swept off her feet by long, tall and swarthy while she was out there.

10:16 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

What's all this about Kaz running off with Algy? She's birding with Kev in a hornithological manner.

10:07 am  
Blogger Murph said...

Where the bloddy hell is Kaz?

I suspect she may have got over-excited about taking over from the late Monty Don on Gardeners World.

9:42 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Bon Dia y Benvinguts from Catalunya

I'm still here - Internet cafe is closed and there's no unsecured network that lasts for more than a few minutes.

Keep growing those plants and algae so I'll get enough carbon credits to fly back.

Now I'm the new Monty Don I'll be able to give you some horticultural (as well an hornithological ) tips.
XXX
PS - They don't seem to sell rock in Spain.

11:56 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Are you waiting until you get over 99 comments before you come back?

10:18 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

define "soon"

7:29 am  
Blogger Murph said...

How much algae will you need for the stuffed donkey?

7:54 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

Those words haven't been put in that order before.

7:55 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

Come on you guys, let's see if we can get Kaz up to 15 comments for her triumphant return to BBC2 at 8.00pm on Friday!

7:56 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

PSA Is Benvinguts a but of the old Spanish Tummy?

7:57 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

This may be an appropriate place to admit that my recent 'early retirement' and search for a garden (with attached house) was in fact a cover story. It is I who will be the new presenter for GW.

6:57 am  
Blogger Geoff said...

I'll be back in a couple of weeks.

What do you fancy? A fridge magnet or a nice coaster?

1:37 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

They're all having a wonderful blogmeet in Spain! If it wasn't for those pesky pet-passport regulations....

2:15 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

PS I'm a bit worried about you hunting for rock in Spain.

They think you're talking about Gibraltar and get all arsey.

2:16 pm  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

*drums fingers*

*decides that drumming fingers is boring and not much fun, so plays with willy (my own) instead*

*oh, this IS fun*

Take as long as you like, Kaz dear. I'm rather enjoying myself at the moment.

12:11 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

"Moment" being the key word for Piggy.

About a minute is all he needs, according to Tazzy.

*wipes screen*

Disgusting vile poofter.

12:30 pm  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

At least I have my moment's, MJ.

Something that's obviously long gone for you at your age.

9:18 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

Have you died of a sangria overdose or summat?

I bet you're on the Costa del Crime swapping bank job tales with East End bruisers.

10:08 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

*sigh*

*sigh*

Are you back yet?

Are you back yet?

You SAID you'd be back SOON.

Soon was last week.

You're late.

7:45 am  
Blogger ziggi said...

sixty!

1:00 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

sixty one

1:00 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

and counting . . .

1:01 pm  
Blogger tony said...

63 ! We have Lift-off!? (I wonder who will be "69"?)

4:54 pm  
Blogger Gordie said...

I think Caz has a Catalan catamite.

5:13 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

I'm concerned that her dry sense of humour may have been lost on Manchester Immigration Control.

7:42 am  
Blogger Roses said...

I bet we won't even get a flippin postcard.

Humpf.

1:40 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

So who's going to be No 69 then?

1:41 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

I think it has to be...

3:17 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

ME ME ME ME ME ! ME! ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!ME!

3:18 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Murph has just entered the Kama Sutra of KAZistan.

3:31 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

Given that dogs are able to lick their balls without having to resort to hours of yoga classes, it's a bit sad that Murph is so excited by that.

4:28 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Perhaps it's Murph's way of marking his territory.

Decent of him not to pee instead.

4:32 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

Thankyou MJ.

And Roses ... I'm afraid talk of spherical objects just makes me nostalgic. I don't want to talk about it....

5:58 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

Anyway, Kaz is supposed to be here to entertain us!

She'll be having a big boozy party with Geoff & Betty and hasn't told us.

5:59 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

MJ you know, you've got a point there. Murph, thanks for not marking your territory by peeing over the blog.

Kaz having a party without us? But...but...I've got the bottle of wine and jar of olives all ready to come over.

*sniff*

8:40 am  
Blogger Murph said...

Great Post Kaz!

9:46 am  
Blogger Roses said...

*sniff sniff*

Murph!

2:28 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

Your babies are so adorably cute


after all you've had time to buy one by now

4:37 pm  
Blogger tony said...

This is Comment#79!
Im not usually one for conspiracy theories.but! If you combine Leonard Cohen's Age with the number of days KAZ's new post is overdue then the answer is also "79" Spooky or what!
Perhaps, rather than blogging, She is sipping Martinis with Lenny in The Midland Hotel?
Far Be It For Me To Spread Rumours But..............

4:55 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

80

Christ, I'll be 80 before the next post.

5:29 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Blimey!

How long is she gone for?

5:45 pm  
Anonymous Piggy and Tazzy said...

She's probably been sold into some sex slavery ring.

Or maybe she volunteered.

8:15 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

I'm home.

It was time ...I mean Geoff is great ...but what with the binge drinking .. and the Lonnie Donegan CDs.

Roses - is it too late for the bottle of wine? I'll just brush these dog hairs off the sofa and order pizza.

There's plenty of BCS for Murph and Jamiesons for mj.

We can wish Garfer and Lenny a Happy 80th Birthday and I'll tell you all about selling sex and buying babies.

Seeya tomorrow.

10:16 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Did somebody mention Jamesons?

YAY! YOU'RE HOME!

10:24 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

Thank God! The interweb was about to pack up due to lack of interest!

7:32 am  
Blogger Roses said...

Yay! Kaz is home! Woo Hoo!

*opens bottle*

7:37 am  
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