Friday, July 04, 2008

Carbon Footprint

Do you travel on the bus?

Probably not.

Maybe the tube or the train or the tram?

We have plenty of buses round here. They come along in gangs and battle it out for my fare of 0 pence.

But it's not the nicest way to get around.

There's something odd about the airflow in buses.

When a perspiring pie eater reaches the top deck, collapses on a seat and open the windows, Kaz is always the one to freeze. An open window near the front results in Arctic conditions near the back.

Buses can't slip along side roads and 'rat runs' so they are excruciatingly SLOW!
OK, I know there's the bus lane but it's always full of buses.

But - I'm doing my bit to save the planet.

The old 'onda is a bit of a guzzler so I ration its outings. It's days are probably limited anyway.

When Bono flies out to meet the Pope or George Bush people don't rant about his carbon footprint.

They just say 'What a Tosser'

So call me a Tosser if you wish - but I'm off again.

This time I'll try to keep posting - even though I will get far fewer comments that way.

Labels: ,


Blogger ziggi said...

where you going?
can I come?
will it be hot?
will there be copious amounts of booze?


You're not going on a bus to Rutland Water are you to liberate that mangy mutt?

What's he done now?

7:55 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I like trains.

8:23 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

It begins with S and ends in n.

Yes to the other questions apart from the mutt.

Me too.

9:22 am  
Blogger Dave said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

10:23 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Why are you flying? Can't you catch a train to Swindon?

10:24 am  
Blogger Betty said...

Why not move to the front of the bus and sit next to the pie eater and stare at him like a maniac? Then shut the window and move to the back of the bus again. He'll be too frightened to open the window again.

10:29 am  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

I'm a bus user with deodorant and I'm not afraid to use it! (ok, except on other people)

I do think chemical spray showers at the doors with smell detectors are probably the way forward.

Might buy a secondhand Skoda shortly, but for weekend use only & more or less the most economical car short of one that's supposed to be green.

10:43 am  
Blogger MJ said...

Our buses are foul smelling and I try to walk as often as possible to avoid them.

Recently I boarded a bus, yelled out "OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!" as I was overcome by the stench, and immediately stepped off and waited for the next bus.

Have fun in S - - - n.

1:15 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

*laughs at MJ's public use of blogging language*

Kaz, you are one carbon producing tosser. All so you can watch Thierry in pre-season training. That's a hundred times worse than Bono in my book. At least he WILL save the planet.

1:26 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

It's Kev you have to rescue isn't it, not Murph? I forgot you'd abandoned him there last time - have you forgiven him then?

2:01 pm  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Oh, and I thought you were flying out to meet the Pope or George Bush, and it's only Kev.
Never mind, at least you won't have to curtsey.

5:24 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

I'm taking the bus and train. Or walk.

But I don't really care about my carbon footprint. I buy imported stuff all the time and if it was more practical I would own a car and drive everywhere.

PS I take very long showers.

5:36 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

and sometimes leave the lights on and leave PC, TV, VCR and DVD player on standby

5:37 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Where's Swindon? Is it hot and sunny?

Oh yes ... I remember - hello luv.

There's not enough room next to a pie eater.
Perhaps I could attack from the rear.

Air conditioning would be good giving out a spray of vanilla air freshener every 5 minutes.

You're sure you weren't thrown off.

I shall keep you 'posted'.

Don't hold back - I can take the abuse.

I hope You and Bono ... and Sting (and any other singly named tossers) will be very happy together on your bloody planet.

I've not forgiven him for having cloudless blue sky ever since I left. It's been a delightful charcoal grey in Manchester.

True - at least I can save Kev's liver - if not the world as well.

OO - and I thought all Scandinavians were as green as grass.

Never mind -as long as you recycle all the gin bottles.

6:45 pm  
Blogger I, like the view, still said...

begins with S continues with pain. . .


I'm just grumpily jealous!


have a wonderful jaunt, lots of sun and sangria


7:31 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

I do. Champagne bottles too.

Even the Pierre Novelle (or whatever the name is)

7:50 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

At least Bono and Sting care about my children and my children's children.


Why don't you cycle to Spain like Dave and Boris would?

8:06 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

Kaz, believe me, being married to such a self righteous twat is pretty unbearable at times.

Getting that wind turbine set up in our back garden could be the final straw as far as our marriage is concerned.

8:09 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Ah - 'La vida es la pena'
The pain in Spain etc. etc.

Such a shame you won't be just over the border in France like last year.

You deserve an award - those Jeroboams are so heavy.

I care as much about your children as you do about mine.

Because Kev's taken my bike to Spain and anyway - I haven't ridden it since 1993.

Betty darling - I know I know.
You should give Samantha Cameron a ring - she can share your pain.

8:37 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

I dropped in thinking 'I'm so glad Kaz is back, I've missed her when she goes to S***n' and there you are fecking off again.


You didn't even bring us back any goodies the last time...

Enjoy yourself you lucky baggage. Hope Ryanscare treats you well, or are you flying Sleazy Jet?

10:15 am  
Blogger Roses said...

PS. I like buses. Still.

10:16 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

They are indeed heavy, but it's good exercise yanno

10:27 am  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

I like buses too. Are you going to the Sudan? I think the no. 43 goes there.

4:17 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Gee - I'm glad you're glad - and I hope to still be here in a virtual way.
Much the same as usual really.

I usually go out via Monarch from Manchester. Comparitively civilised until we can think of an alternative name.

Roses 2:
Yes - unless they have to crawl through Rusholme.

Marvellous idea.
So that's how you get those magnificent biceps.

No - the no 43 goes from the corner of my street direct to Manchester Airport.

I shall be on it at 5:15 a.m. on Monday.

5:17 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Um. Sure?

7:37 pm  
Anonymous Arabella said...

I just fancy being in Madrid and looking at some Goya. Oh well.
It's a four hour drive to the next city (and it's not a good one -Dallas)so, what with the price of gas, I'm a proper stay-at-home these days.
But I'm not down-hearted! Not me.

Mmmmmm..grilled sardines.

7:46 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Biceps are rubbish anyway.
I hate Arnold.

It's a few years since I visited the Prado - I'll meet you there sometime.

Sardinas - fabuloso!
Especially in the beach bar.

9:21 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

What about Stallione then?

9:26 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Even worse - all that facial surgery - I hate.

9:32 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

I know! Although I quite fancy his body or used to.

Then you look up and there is that face.

You just want to scream and run away

9:27 am  
Blogger ziggi said...

(Pete, that's a description of more than one man I know!)

Kaz I see you liberated the mutt, so Kev's in with a chance then. Being banished to the sunshine just for stealing a bike eh? While you're gone I'm going to liberate everything you own - will that get me a permanent place in the sun?

10:17 am  
Blogger I, like the view, still said...

oh, what I wouldn't give to be back in Cannes, waving at you just across the border

you'll just have to have double the fun and twice as good a time, to make up for my absence!

safe journey and great hols


10:43 am  
Blogger tony said...

Your Off Again!
Barca? Have A ABFAB time.

11:25 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

I think I prefer the men who get sand kicked in their face - but it has to be a nice face.

I'm taking my laptop with me and the 'onda's about due for liberation - so see you there.

I'll go over to France this time and give you a wave from there.

Thanks X

Off again?
You've been catching me up recently. I'm counting.

Just passing through Barca - The Metro says Thierry's in New York.

12:19 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

Yayyyy!!!! 35th!!!!!!

I thought Bono had passed on after Cher's last rib was removed.

And every time I see the expression "Kev's Bike" I have to have a little snigger.

Sorry. Have a gr8* time. Again.

(*means "great" apparently)

1:31 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Yes - now I come to think of it you are probably Bono's gr8tst fan....or should that be Bonio?

(note to self)
It's Kev's cycle from now on.

Thanks chuck!

2:48 pm  
Blogger Donnnnn said...

Have fun on your tript to starts with an S and ends in an n...

You can just buy carbon credits when you get back..just like Bono.

Wait a minute...Weren't you just there? Did you forget something?

Have you ever seen the Green report on Bush and Gore? Bush's lil ranch in Texas is super eco-friendly and mr save the planet and invent the internet Gore has a HUMONGOUS mansion that costs and wastes thousands of dollars a month..that's jus wrong ain't it?

3:54 am  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Bush and Gore. Sounds like a pretty damn good holiday to me, Donn.

7:25 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

That's actually why I like David Boreanaz. He has such a nice face.

5:24 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

Old people wee on buses, deliberately. And they smell of stale kebabs.

I wouldn't mind my own bus, just so I could drive past pensioners and leave them shivering in the drizzle.

I'd honk on my horn and give them a cheery wave.

7:40 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Carbon Credits?
Can I buy them at Asda (Walmart)?

Yes I forgot Kev.

I never trusted Gore.

Bush and Gore?
Far too much excitement for a sensitive chap like you. Stop at home and buy the DVD.

As well as the rest of him.

You have such a wonderful attitude to your fellow humans.

8:35 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Yes, let's not forget that.

5:08 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

I thought you said you were going to post more when you went away!


Did you remember to take something over for Kev's bike to stop the squeaking? Or did you just buy him a drink instead?

7:49 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

We won't

Stop sulking.

5:21 pm  

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