Sunday, August 10, 2008

Amazons?

So the first (and only at time of going to press) gold medal to a Brit in Beijing has gone to a female cyclist. She was cheered by 10 supporters and a stray dog as she received her medal in the driving rain.

As usual a tear came to my eye as they played 'God save the Queen' ...and how I hated myself.

Apparently other countries like to joke that British Olympians perform well only when sitting down, with cycling, sailing, rowing and equestrianism the country's most successful sports in recent times.

British cyclists are doing really well now and most of that success is centred round the efforts at Manchester Velodrome.

Remember Mark Cavendish who won 4 stages in the Tour last month? He lived just round the corner while he was training with his team - I nearly knocked them off their bikes one day when driving the 'onda out of the car park.

Other women cyclists tipped to bring home gold are and Shanaze Reade and Victoria Pendleton who famously posed in the nude.


But I'm so glad that I wasn't an Amazon or an alpha female.

I could never run fastest or jump highest. Competitive sports had me forging a note from my mum or forgetting (?) my kit

It's also good that I wasn't a striking beauty. OK - I could cut the mustard when necessary - but Claudia Schiffer had nothing to fear.

So as everything falls apart it isn't so noticeable or distressing. If you have to depend on beauty, speed or athleticism, it must be awful when it all starts to disintegrate.


KAZ

28 Comments:

Blogger garfer said...

Cross country running was one of my bete noirs.

I used to hide in the undergrowth for a crafty fag.

10:09 pm  
Blogger nwtrunner said...

Kaz - methinks your gifts and charms are only improving.

And I'm glad that you didn't run the cyclists over, speaking as a very non-Olympian cyclist.

Madonna vs Kaz?? Easy - Kaz all the way! You'd drink vodka and single malts with me :-)

11:10 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

Less Madonna in her big pants please.

Good looking from some angles, although I can't imagine which.

1:18 am  
Blogger Gordie said...

I am looking for inspiration to help me masturbate at the moment, but don't worry, I'm sure I will fall asleep eventually.

1:41 am  
Blogger MJ said...

Seeing that bicycle with the nude woman reminds me…

Garfer is a snarfer.

1:45 am  
Blogger garfer said...

I assume you ride tandem MJ. Tidy gussets naturally.

Begone with your snarf, it makes me barf.

2:14 am  
Blogger MJ said...

Oh Garf
You make me larf

2:41 am  
Blogger tony said...

Joe Jackson Got Bronze! Rock N Roll Will Never Die..!

7:27 am  
Blogger Dave said...

She's not nude. She's wearing trainers.

'If you have to depend on beauty, speed or athleticism, it must be awful when it all starts to disintegrate.'

Yes, it is.

8:45 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Garfer:
You were lucky they let you out.
We couldn't get past the alsations and the electric fence.

NWTR:
Single malt?
Make mine a double!

Garfer:
There's no pleasing some people.
But they are a bit copious aren't they?

Gordie:
I could send mj round.

mj:
Thank you for expanding my vocabulary.

Garfer:
OOh you said 'gussets'.
You're not at Infomaniac now you know.

mj:
Not 'arf!

Tony:
Is Victoria really goin' out with him?

Dave:
I shall dedicate this post to you, in memory of your Herculean past.

9:59 am  
Blogger Roses said...

Well, I still wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley at night. I still think she's scary.

Good news about the phone.

11:10 am  
Blogger Betty said...

The last picture you used to demonstrate someone who has depended on beauty, speed or athleticism - I didn't know that Beverley Callard relied on any of those assets, even though she's put out loads of fitness videos!

1:13 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

A tear always comes to my eye when one of our boys or girls wins. Unless it's an event to do with horses or guns.

The national anthem just gets me angry, though.

Sharron Davies - There's a real Amazon. She's got muscles on her muscles.

1:21 pm  
Blogger Murph said...

Fortunately my beauty, speed and athleticism has matured like a fine wine rather than fallen apart. It's a dog thing.

(And what was Garfer doing hiding in the undergrowth with Stephen Fry?)

1:24 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Roses:
Guy Richie thinks that as well.

Betty:
Yes, Bev's very flexible - there's been Jim and Jim's carer and Vernon and now that bookie chap. And several more I've forgotten about.

I bet she plays the ukelele as well.

Geoff:
I get angry and tearful at the same time. Very confusing.

I saw Sharron yesterday - awesome. But she's sexy with it isn't she?

Not that I'd care of course.

Murph:
I know - I've seen the video.

Garfer loves to associate with the privately educated upper classes - whatever their persuasion.

5:14 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

"Competitive sports had me forging a note from my mum or forgetting (?) my kit"

We are so alike it's scary.

As for the hag in the last photo: When in doubt wear support tummy tucking grandma panties and rely heaviely on airbrushing.

6:05 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

we got the swimming today.

odd how every 4 years we cheer on a spot we never normally watch

8:01 pm  
Blogger Gordie said...

Sharron used to pee in the other girls' faces.

8:47 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Cyberpete:
It's survival of the fittest out there.
Not for delicate sensitive types like you and me.

Airbrushing - that cleavage looks as though it was drawn on with a felt tip.

Pete:
Well swimming isn't much of a spectator sport is it? Just a few caps and arms bobbing up and down in the water.
But we just can't resist cheering on the plucky Brits.

Gordie:
Oh I don't think so.

9:43 pm  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

Tis the sparkle in the eye that is the most important aspect of beauty in any case!

At 5'9" I had the body of a (Amazonian) gazelle, but couldn't run for toffee, despite the bullying of my PE teacher, so no British glory there!

Lookswise, I am neither a bus back, nor a model, but middling attractive, which suits me fine - I have a friend who is absolutely stunning and feels she has been punished for it all her life, through men treating her badly and other women being jealous or thinking she is after their husbands!

10:38 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

I wasn't looking that closely but yes, on second glance it does appear to be a magic marker of some kind.

Wait, are you insinuating we are not fit?

Tee-heee!

4:38 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Laura:
That 'gazelle' sounds wonderful.

Good to hear about your beautiful miserable friend - schadenfraude???

Pete:
'Fit' - several meanings - one is cute and sexy.

That'll do for us - eh?

6:52 pm  
Blogger BEAST said...

I have two words for you
FATIMA WHITBREAD
****shudders***

7:19 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

I know... tell me about it... Ha!

The fastest I've moved in a while is when the pie and pea shop had a sale... and the look on my face when I realised I'd missed it was the only time in years I had some colour in my cheeks. :O(

8:06 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Beast:
Her name always reminds me of 'Whitbread Tankard' .. or Titbread Wankard as we called it.

Wom:
A sale at the Pie and Pea shop?
Good lord - they must have been giving it away.

Breaking a sweat is so undignified - dotcha think???

9:25 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

I suppose it'll have to do Kaz

10:03 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

OK by me.

7:13 am  
Blogger I, like the view said...

see, she's taken to wearing monogrammed clothing, to prod our brains into working out who on earth she is. . .

is it Maggie?

9:37 am  

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