Monday, August 18, 2008

'Don't Embarrass Me'.


Human nature??

Don't talk to me about 'Human Nature'.

Does it exist?

I do try to understand my fellow humans ..... but ......

..... did you see Channel 4's 'Embarrassing Illnesses' last week?

I pressed the button on the remote to be treated to the sight of a bloke's bare backside revealing the most horrendous hemmoiroids hemarroids piles.

The story was that they had become so bad over the years because he had been too embarrassed to go to the doctor.

WHAT?

So, here he was on primetime TV in front of millions of viewers exposing his disfigured bare backside to strangers, friends and family. The camera cut between his face and his buttocks as the doc examined his piles with far too much enthusiasm.

I was glad I'd had mi tea early.

How do channel 4 persuade someone to do this? Is alcohol involved? Or massive amounts of money?

If the poor guy craved fame he could have been on 'Flog it' with that terribly nice chap. Or - if he had nothing to flog - how about 'Wife Swap' or 'Make me a Christian'?

How will he ever face the bus queue or his colleagues in the office again?

We also had the rugby team examining their tackle, the sexy girl with flatulence and the young woman with inverted nipples who was embarrassed about showing her breasts (except on TV of course).

Thank goodness the bloke with athlete's foot only took his socks off.

KAZ

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30 Comments:

Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

I am too embarrassed to discuss my condition on TV, but I have sent you some photographs.

9:45 am  
Blogger Murph said...

Why does Lennie the Lion feature here in embarrassing illnesses? And who is the weirdo crouching behind him?

9:57 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

I missed "Make me a Christian" - but do you think that if I sent them the wool, they'd make me one too?

10:18 am  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Oh, and did I ever tell you about my operation for bowel cancer?

10:19 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Thankyou Vicus.
I can see the photo on the right.
For such an extreme case of hirsuteness I recommend a generous application of Veet or Immac.

Murph:
No connection with where the weirdo has inserted his hand.
Don't pretend that you don't remember Lennie's catchphrase

Stitch:
Well there is a lot of wooly thinking involved.

Stitch 2:
I think I saw it on telly.

Only joking - so glad you got that over with successfuly.

10:31 am  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

I'm a celebrity-trapped-in-a-nobody - which is embarrassing in restaurants when I say 'Don't you know who I am???' and they reply 'no.'

I'm quite happy to go on television and talk about it/get the trans-status reassignment op done in front of the cameras though.

11:48 am  
Blogger MJ said...

I am envious of your superior British telly.

Tape episodes of blokes' bare backsides for me.

Vicus has yet to send me a photo of his bare bottom.

1:46 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Is this a new series or a repeat, I'm sure I recall it being one before? Not that I watched, oh no.

People are weird.

Did Jim Dale manage to cure Bab's heart shaped nipples?

3:54 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

I like the (bogus) Dr Gillian McKeith who stirs poo for a living.

5:08 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Yikes, that's disgusting! - he could of course sign up for Britain's got Talent as the man with the talking piles or something.

What was wrong with the rugby teams tackle?

Why do people do this?

8:17 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Laura:
You shameless wench!
I'll look out for the post op pics in Heat Magazine.

mj:
You already have enough bare backsides of you own madam.
I think Vicus will oblige but only at a price.

NiC:
Acording to the Radio Times it's new but I think the series has been on before.
One embarrassing complaint is much like another.
Not that I'd know of course.

Garfer:
Apparently Richard Wilson did that before his Victor Meldrew days.
But at least he didn't do it on TV.

Pete:
I'm sorry to share it with you.

The tackle was the best bit. They were having a fine time in the locker room.

9:13 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Why don't they have shows like that here?

All they show is people who are fat (like me) and go in for a "lifestyle change" where they get an enema on tv.

Or that show with 5 women who compete to get thin enough to squeeze into a small wedding dress.

9:36 pm  
Anonymous Arabella said...

Surprisingly small bosoms, Babs.

1:19 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
5 women in a wedding dress?

Arabella:
My thoughts exactly.
She must have had falsies under her jumper.

2:40 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Not in the same one. Actually only one of them gets a wedding dress.

The one who loses the most weight - or I think it's like that. I don't watch programmes about people trying to lose weight. It's so depressing.

5:50 pm  
OpenID Arabella said...

Perhaps she projects the spirit of the big-bosomed and it produces an optical illusion?

12:52 am  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

Kaz if we meet up one day ... you really must see my abscess scar... or maybe not... :O)..

10:33 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
Just keep off those 'Maxibons'

Arabella:
Impossible.
If it could be done, I'd have been doing it for years.

Wom:
Well certainly not before we shake hands!

11:23 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Arabella:
I just tried to leave a comment on your new blog without success - Is it me?

Anyway - good to have you back.

11:30 am  
Blogger Geoff said...

Kaz: Click on the title of Arabella's post and you'll be able to comment. It's magic!

Barbara Windsor has never had big ones. There are much bigger tits in EastEnders.

6:34 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

I know, I really should. But then it's not like I'm gonna run down the aisle in a Vera Wang any day soon.

*sniff*

6:41 pm  
Blogger Hyde DP said...

I was just watching tonights prog - they did tell two people that that what they had was normal and leave it alone - it IS listed as a repeat as I thought I'd seen bits of these progs before (don't think I could sit through a WHOLE prog)

8:28 pm  
Blogger tony said...

GAWD! I had really Bad Piles a few years ago!It's No Laughing Matter!The Worst Pain I have ever know.Thankful those horrendous hemmoiroids hemarroids piles are all behind me now..................

9:52 pm  
Blogger Donnnnn said...

I want a case of hirsuteness delivered immediately...
love that stuff!

10:09 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Geoff:.
Thanks.

True - it's never been the same since Angie ran off with that Brian May.

Pete:
No - and you certainly won't be if you keep eating the ice cream and party cakes.

Gerald:
Yes - I checked the Radio Times - they are repeats (sorry NiC).
You certainly couldn't sit through if you had piles (sorry).

Tony:
Thanks for sharing that with us.
I hope you didn't feel the need to exhibit them to the world.

Donnnnn:
Lovely isn't it....
...that uncomplicated nose of blackberries laced with oak and hints of vanilla.

Cheers!

9:09 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

True, so true.

Sadly.

11:24 am  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

It's mad. If someone won't go to the doctors in pain then why would they bare themselves on national telly? Bizarre.

4:06 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
Aaaah!

Nora:
Bizarre it is.
I wouldn't even roll my sleeve up for a blood pressure reading on national telly.

9:19 pm  
Blogger Mopsa said...

Kaz - why did you watch it? And aren't people arses?

7:24 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Excellent question Mopsa.
I came upon the 'arse' by chance and hid behind the sofa.
When I came out it was the athletes foot and flatulence.

8:25 am  

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