Monday, September 29, 2008

Just like you and me.



I aim for a light hearted note here - frivolous trivia and suchlike.

But just for once let's have a little fellow feeling for our National Hero Wayne Rooney - shown above with his dad David Moyes.


Wayne was driving his lovely bride Coleen home to their Prestbury residence in the £90000 customised 4X4 Range Rover which he bought her for Christmas.
Wayne stopped at the service station and filled the tank with petrol.

The vehicle spluttered to a halt just 1 mile from the service station - it should have been diesel.


A member of staff at Burtonwood said "It happens often - even to intelligent people". It will cost £5000 to repair.


Wayne also has a Lamborghini Gallardo....

a Bentley Continental GT...

as well as a BMW M6...

and an Aston Martin Vanquish.
KAZ says:

'Please find it in your heart to give the lad some sympathy. When all's said and done prosperous celebs and wags feel the pain just like ordinary folk'.


I know that upset you - so here's something to make up for it.

Remember Henry Conway the popinjay son of the corrupt Tory MP who was sacked for using the taxpayers' money to 'employ' him as a 'researcher'.
Some people weren't very nice to Henry when this happened.


But there is a happy ending. Henry appeared in photo spread in the Tatler recently and yesterday's Guardian 'WEEKEND' chose him to a write column called "Toff Tips"

He tells us that 'Posh' is en vogue again - and he doesn't mean Mrs Beckham.


So there is some justice after all.


And it looks like the New Romantics are back.


KAZ

58 Comments:

Blogger Beth said...

ewgh! he looks like he's just been sick down his shirt.

(I'd rather see him beaten & bloody!)

2:25 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

There is nothing posh about Mrs Beckham.

Maybe Mr Rooney should sell some of his cars or buy only the kind that runs on one type of petrol.

It would avoid confusion. He doesn't look very bright either.

3:05 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

That'll be her tanning budget down the drain.

3:32 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

From Toffees to Toffs.

I had a friend who once put diesel in his petrol tank. He was overworked at the time, though. Maybe Wayne is finding it all a bit too much, what with having to work three hours a week.

4:02 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

For £5,000 he could refill my diesel car for the rest of its life (and mine) and still have a few gallons left.

5:56 pm  
Blogger tony said...

No Doubt Wayne Will Sue West Ham for his mistakes.......everybody else does!

6:23 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

Henry Conway is proof of the current media's belief that, the more spoilt, talentless, annoying and freeloading you are, and the more you live on and thrive off the fame and wealth of your parents, the more publicity you deserve to get. See also: the Geldof sisters, Jack and Kelly Osbourne, Kimberly Stewart. Aren't they all friends of this waste of space? What a coincidence.

7:50 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Beth:
Yes he obviously had cornflakes for breakfast..
Give him time to choose a suitable outfit before the assault.

Pete:
Yes - the more we simplify things for dopey Wayne the better.
If he has any brains they are in his feet.

mj:
Oh no!
She'll top 'erself!

Geoff:
The poor dear probably is overworked - he does those adverts for Nike, Coca Cola and Mercedes to name but three.
How he found time to write his autobiography I can't imagine.

Dave:
With a razor sharp economic mind like yours I'm amazed you haven't had a call from George W.

Tony:
But just think how they upset that nice Sean Bean.

Betty:
Yeah!
And as if that isn't bad enogh The guardian encourages it.
Btw - I did not buy it on Saturday.

8:11 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

I'm normally a pacifist, but I'd like to beat Henry up.

You can't really be jealous of Rooney. He might have millions, but he still looks like Shrek.

8:17 pm  
Blogger Gordie said...

Poor lad Wayne still has difficulty distinguishing red from blue nowadays.

The Tories exist to ensure that 'popinjay' need not be removed from the dictionary.

11:10 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

I thought all fashion was supposed be cyclical? Why am I still waiting?

And as for Wayne - it's a tragedy, good job Mr Styles made him up for it I say :)

7:38 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

I forgot to say this before.

So Wayne... Dumb AND ugly.

Thank god he has football.

11:05 am  
Blogger Hyde DP said...

He won't care then that the price of deisel is rising faster than the price of petrol - come to think of it - I don't care either.

11:27 am  
Blogger Murph said...

This post is more like the Highland Games.

Packed with bizarrley dressed Tossers.

11:33 am  
Blogger BEAST said...

The Beast is full of sympathy for poor Wayne ,
however I would like to kick Henry until he is dead !

11:39 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Garfer:
He makes Shrek look like Brad Pitt.
But Coleen loved him even when he was poor.

Gordie:
The Blues could sure do with him at this moment.

'Popinjay' - fab word.

Ziggi:
No that's the brightly coloured lycra outfits.
I don't suppose you mean Nobby - more likely to be the rapper.

Or was it yesterday's ref?

Gerald:
I assume you aren't quite as rich as Wayne - so you must drive a petrol vehicle or none at all.

Murph:
Pass me the Irn Bru.

If there's one thing worse than a bizarrley dressed Tosser it's a filthy rich bizarrley dressed Tosser ..... and then there's Henry Conway as well.

Beast:
See Garfer above - It might take the two of you together.
One of you could hold down the Pashmina.

12:02 pm  
Blogger SL said...

"Wayne Rooney - shown above with his dad David Moyes."

HAHAHAHAHA! Brilliant, Kaz.

Nice pic. Not Wayne. What a twat.

1:34 pm  
Anonymous Puppy and Hippo said...

Rooney's a cunt.

As is Conway.

I want to be rich too. As I'm already a cunt, I'm halfway there.

The sympathetic to my cause can Paypal me at the usual email.

3:23 pm  
Blogger Boz said...

New Roomantic?

Sorry I couldn't resist.

I would have paid money to be the AA person called out to that job..

3:47 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

sl:
Ah! You are very discerning for a United fan.

Puppy(??):
You're going the wrong way about it.
Too old for footie so you'll have to dress up like Mr Conway.

Boz:
More like ruemantic after that mistake.
Perhaps the AA man could sell his story.

5:05 pm  
Blogger BEAST said...

***wires puppy 72 pence****
Tesco value dog food is on offer this week , that should get you a couple of days grub

5:45 pm  
Anonymous Puppy and Hippo said...

Oh, hello Beast!

72 pee? Is that it? After all I've done for you? Tight-fisted git.

And to think I was going to offer to massage your starfish for you at Crimbo too.

*looks for coarse sandpaper*

Hippo will be most disappointed.

6:08 pm  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

Right that's it, I'm becoming a WAG!

Where do I sign-up?

I can even put the right fuel in my Morgan sports car (yup, mine's a red Morgan if you're asking)

6:17 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Beast and Puppy:
Please play nicely - set a good example to those perverts over at mj's place.

Laura:
Erm - red Morgan - didn't I hear you mention a Skoda.
Oh ... or did you mean the red Morgan tee shirt?

6:25 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

NO!!! Not New Romantics again. Once was bad enough shurely!

6:38 pm  
Blogger tony said...

I hope The dentist was ok & I hope you paid Him!

8:08 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

I'm invisible eh?

Happy twentytenth to me eh?

*grins*

9:10 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

NiC:
I know you're still a punk at heart - but we may look better in granny's curtains this time around.
...OK - Perhaps not!

Tony:
The dentist was fine - yes I paid (£45)
It was the haircut afterwards that was traumatic.

Pete:
Did I forget you?
It's been a traumatic day - and I am a tad older than twenty ten.

Mucho Mucho Happiest birthday and multo multo more to come.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX :)

10:12 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Grazie!

Molto bene!

It's been traumatic for me too turning twentyten.

How old are you twentythirteen?

11:18 pm  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

I mean mine's a red morgan when I become a WAG.

Skoda currently, yes.

4:11 pm  
Blogger Steve said...

I have an old bike Rooney can have. Petrol or diesel makes no odds - it will still run provided his legs can reach the pedals. £500,000 he can have it.

5:14 pm  
Blogger BEAST said...

Oh no I got told off now.
SORRY KAZ AND PUPPY

***slinks off looking guilty****

6:24 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

*offers to buy the sandpaper for Beast's botty*

6:35 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
De nada
I'm about twenty twenty twenty.

Laura:
Thanks for clearing that up you scarlet woman you.

Steve:
I can't see Wayne going for this -you can't ride a bike on the M62 can you?
He needs to go back to Liverpool every week as no one has any idea what he's talking about in Manchester.

Beast:
Oh no - no need for you to apologise.
Piggy - sorry Puppy - should have been happy with his economy dog food which you so generously promised.

mj:
You're one of those perverts I mentioned.
But by no means unsaveable.

7:42 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

It's obviously focused his mind because he's just scored!

Aren't you watching??

Cat's doing fine - thank you - blogger is bogging me out :(

8:24 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Ziggi:
No.
Are you?
I'm just off to watch Griff Rhys Jones about anger management.
Hints have been dropped.

So glad about cat - bugger blogger.

8:28 pm  
Blogger Malc said...

£5,000? Hell!

I did that a couple of years ago and the local Vauxhall garage charged me £100. But I'm not a famous footballer, I suppose.

And please, no more pics of the worm Conway. Mrs Malc hates it when I start shouting and clawing at the screen with murderous intent.

12:21 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

That's fabulous.

Sometimes I wish I was twenty twenty twenty - then I could retire and sleep in every day.

7:22 pm  
Blogger BEAST said...

Could you get course grain sandpaper please , these hanging haemariods could do with a good shampering

8:49 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Malc:
The price is probably proportional to the cost of the vehicle.
No more pics of Henry?
OK.. it's a deal.

Pete:
Idling is an art form - you are far too young to be successful.
That's why you must work!

Beast:
Shampering??? Is that a word?
I'm e mailing Piggy at this moment. He'll be off to B&Q straight away as Wednesday is pensioner's discount day.
Then he'll be over to your place to administer.
Can I come and watch?

10:31 pm  
Blogger Donn Coppens said...

Why oh Why oh Why do men waste money on luxury Cars?
Seriously. Cars are too easy to destroy. Any sod can walk past and key it or smash a window...if you need to show off your money it should atleast be wasted on something that the great unwashed can't ruin.

3:12 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

And they always need washing.

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