Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Ads 4 Boyz

The ads from the previous decades still give good advice on how to be a success with women.

So look and listen you chaps.

1 Put a Hustle in your Tussle.
I'm not even sure what a tussle is let alone how you put a hustle in it. But it must be good because "it's for the fellow who's on the job early and late - the chap who thinks fast and moves fast - Johnny on the spot".

i.e.The sort of bloke who can destroy an entire banking system and still get a bonus.

2: Rap the Right Rhythm.

A free pair of Raouls to the first reader who can tell me what they cost in new money.

3: Wear self supporting trousers.
OK, they don't look very sexy - but just imagine what you can do with your hands if you don't have to use them to hold your pants up.

4: Buy your sweetheart a waste disposal unit for her birthday.
He does look a bit knackered after being thanked three times a day - but he's obviously very satisfied.

5: Dress up a bit:

Or if all else fails try this :

or this : Good Luck - Let me know how you get on.


Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

The thing is, that when a lady gives me advice on how to "be a success with women", I am suspicious that her definition of what success constitutes may be somewhat different to mine.

8:22 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

"Put a Hustle in your Tussle"

Is that like having a bustle in your hedgerow?

8:42 pm  
Blogger Ackworth Born said...

Self-adhesive chest wig!

Can you imagine the pain when you come to take it off?

11:26 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

I know how I'd thank my husband for a garbage disposal unit...I'd just need large quantities of bleach to get rid of the evidence.

I certainly would be thinking of him every time I used it.

8:03 am  
Anonymous NiC said...

Too many excellent choices, Kaz! This is why I never go clothes shopping...

I think I've narrowed it down to the hustled tustle, the Raôuls (£4.99½ in new money?) and the self supporting trousies.

I remember C&A as being better than that....and crimplene being just that bad.

8:19 am  
Blogger Dave said...

99/11 = 1d less than £5. 2.4d=1p, thus 1d = a bit less than ½p.

I still have some perfectly servicable clothes from Man at C&A.

8:41 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

A shag?

Hold on I'll just phone Robert and ask him.

Ouch - especially if you're a bit hirsute in that region already.

I didn't believe this one when I found it! It refers to her as 'The Little Woman'.
At least there has been some progress.

I still get searches for Angelo Litrico since I did the post on C&A.

99/11 amazing what lengths they would go to rather than admit they cost five quid.

You and NiC win one winkelpicker each.

9:22 am  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

Ah how I miss those days (even if I wasn't around for them!)

The tussling bustle (or is it bustling tussle?) ad is indeed alarming Kaz. I wonder how many they sold and trust there was an in-built cattle prod to punish the incompetant merchant bankers who bought into them.

And supercool Man at C&A in his crimpolene - sigh! Not forgetting his baby doll firelighting nightdress housewife counterpart Brentford Nylon Woman! (of which Yootha Joyce was of course the poster girl in George & Mildred)

9:35 am  
Blogger Betty said...

Phew! Too many foxy men in one post! My blood pressure is going through the roof!

It's good to know that men have always had problems with bunched up underwear.

Also ... is there a free bunion remover given away with each pair of Raouls? Those are the pointiest mens' shoes I've ever seen.

10:21 am  
Blogger Murph said...

The3 winklepickers were the trousers weren't they?

10:38 am  
Blogger ziggi said...

Can you have the 3 times a day as well as being on the job first thing and last?

Fantastic these old fashion types - there's something definitely missing from the younger generation of man - self supporting trousers for a start.

1:30 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

I'm worried about those self supporting trousers.

When you sit on the settee do they rise all the way to your armpits?

1:38 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

If the bustle/tussle underwear was made of Crimplene - there'd be no need for more punishment.
I'd forgotten Brentford Nylon - my mother in law had the full collection - it was electrifying sleeping at her place.

This avoids the bunched upness because it's "fitted by tape measure, not by guess measure"
We should tell Jeremy Paxman about it.

Nope - I'll have to get Dave to interpret if he calls round later.

Wow - That would make it 5 times a day.
That's worth a whole new kitchen.

Don't worry - they aren't magic.
You can keep your hands free - but you have to keep your knees together.

4:01 pm  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

Masculinity's not been the same since Man at C&A closed down. You always knew where you were with a Man at C&A kind of man.

4:45 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

I think Murph meant that a pair of tight trousers would ensure a pickled winkle.

Hope this helps.

4:47 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Yes, but they're still there in Europe - flaunting thir polo necks and casual jackets with coordinated socks.

Thanks I geddit now.
So the '3' was a typo.

5:58 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...

I love those Raouls! everything else is a little scary for a Southern Jessie. . .

9:01 pm  
Blogger tony said...

i sprinkle Talcam Powder on my chest-wig these days..........

9:24 pm  
Blogger DONN COPPENS said...

Do the Hustle!
doo-doo-doo do do doo-doo-doo
Fyi living this close to the Arctic Circle demands Long-Johnage for 8 months of the year.

Those Raouls will guarantee a substantial ass kicking when worn out of doors.

Every decade I hoist my pants up a little higher..I don't know why?

If they can guarantee a 'firm thanking' 3x a day I'll take it.

I have kept all of my clothes from the 70s in my closet..I knew they'd come back!

Love Maids have 'funny' mouths and you'll nearly have a heart attack when they explode...that's why you need to wear one of those Austin Powers Chest Wigs to protect your vital organs.

Awesome posting.

12:58 am  
Blogger Steve said...

I wish I had the energy to be "on the job" early and late...

7:09 am  
Blogger Beth said...

"she'll want to thank you three times a day..."

Filth! pure filth!!
Was that the start of our moral decline?? No wonder society is imploding.

(Did they realise what a Pandora's Box they would open by freeing the little woman from her thrice daily trips to the garbage can? I think not)

7:51 am  
Blogger scarlet-blue said...

Hello Kaz . . . I think I've died and gone to heaven . . . but I think I'd like a merkin please.

9:56 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

That's OK - if you are wearing the Raouls you could just kick any rough Northern types in the shins.

I see you spilled some on your head as well.

Hey - you've already got one of those wigs on your chin!

To get a 'firm thanking' 3 times a day with hoisted high pants and Long Johns must take some doing.

You would certainly deserve it.

You are obviously wearing ineffectual underwear.
Sometimes M&S simply isn't good enough.

Quite right Ms Angry of Lancashire.
And these days - if the men let them out - these women will get tarted up to visit the wheely bin looking for more "pure filth".

Hi - Scarlet Blue:
Would that be made from beaver fur?
Or would you prefer the synthetic day - glo model?

12:40 pm  
Blogger scarlet-blue said...

Well naturally it'd have to be beaver . . .

2:24 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hmmmm - thought so!

5:00 pm  
Anonymous Gert said...

Someone should have told the man in the green shirt his tie doesn't match. Total faux pas

10:50 am  
Blogger garfer said...

I yearn for the days of the cod piece.

They were popular in Shakespeare's day, and Led Zeppelin quite liked them.

They must be due a come back.

9:58 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

But it's better than the other three who wear the tie in identical material to the shirt.

Might as well not bother.

You little extrovert!
You want to look like that guy who sang 'Word up' don't you?

10:33 am  
Blogger I, like the view said...

I remember when my mother made herself an long evening skirt, and used the left-over material to make a matching tie for my father to wear. . .


11:00 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

That is definitely taking couple coordination too far.

YIKES again.

3:04 pm  
Blogger Midnight said...

No wonder women didn't need rabbits in the olden days, just look at what they had to play with back then! Those were the days eh!

11:55 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Er - Rabbits?
Can't come over to see you now.

11:49 am  

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