Thursday, October 30, 2008

Single Men


Every weekday morning at precisely 7.15 I hear the noisy whirr of my neighbour's shower. I'm usually awake - but if not it's the perfect alarm call and I can lie in bed and imagine the soapy scene.

He returns from work at 6.30pm. After he closes the door I never hear any music, voices or television.

I wonder about him.

Bill at the end of the corridor goes 'home' to his mum in Burnage for his tea every night - usually carrying a bag of dirty washing.

I like John and Ian

John is a big, handsome lad who drives a macho silver company car. He's done well for himself and could afford a posh house in Alderley Edge.

We chat often. He loves to discuss his career success and his lack of initiative in other areas. Home to this 6 ft 5in giant is a tiny studio flat (bedsit to you and me) from which he only emerges to go to work and play 5 a side on Sunday afternoon.

Ian's the one who leaks into Kev's flat. He's a blonde, good looking hippie with a slight stutter. Mum and Dad are his only visitors. He spends his hols with volunteers cleaning up beaches.


When I moved here to look after mum 9 years ago the place was full of old fogeys with attitude, young couples, raving alcoholics, rowdy Oirish men singing loud into the night and some impecunious upper class twits addicted to gambling.

Not to forget the trumpet player from the Ali orchestra.

You could have written a soap about it.

Gradually they've gone and the sad and serious singletons have taken over.

The girls seem to have a social life but the blokes are lonely ... Any ideas?


KAZ

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37 Comments:

Blogger MJ said...

Find out if they have blogs and hold a blog meet.

1:30 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Will you come?

1:45 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

Of course single blokes have a social life.

We're all serial killers, which beats aerobics sessions.

1:52 pm  
Blogger Steve said...

I bet they all own PlayStations or X Boxes. The digital age has encouraged lonely young men to embrace their situation rather than fight against it. Cut the power to the building and force them out!

1:58 pm  
Blogger scarlet-blue said...

Maybe I could help?? I'm ready, willing etc, etc,
Sx

2:05 pm  
Blogger Rimshot said...

If you do get a reasonable solution, kindly fill me in on the details as well. Another visit from Mama & Papa Rimshot and I'll be offing myself.

2:55 pm  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Social life? Isn't that talking to people and stuff? No thank you.

3:23 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Garfer:
So glad you have something to look forward to now and again.
I saw you more as a fossil collector.

Steve:
I did wonder - but wouldn't there be noise? Headphones perhaps?
Love the anarchic solution. I know how to do it too.

Scarlet-Blue:
Excellent!
But we need to plan our tactics.
I don't suppose you play 5 a side do you?
If not - you're on beach patrol.

Rimshot:
John's mum and dad have moved to Torremolinos.
So he visits them now.

Vicus:
I see your point.
But you found leurve when you were a charming young man.
You've had plenty of time to be anti social and grumpy.

4:23 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

Well, speaking as a single young man, I intend to do more ghardening (well, it gets me out of the house).

4:41 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

Ghardening is what Ghandi did for relaxation.

5:12 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Dave:
I thought you were just trying to be posh.
I bet Lee Majors didn't have this trouble with his typing...or Ghandi for that matter.

5:18 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...

my life sounds like that

only I never have any parental visits, don't play five-a-side, do my own laundry. . .

okay, maybe my life doesn't sound like that

7:44 pm  
Blogger Mr Coppens said...

Inflatable Doll design & technology has come a long way in the last decade.

I don't blame them. The work/fun benefit ratio with Girlfriends is almost universally negligible.

These lads are just going to enjoy their independence until they absolutely need to engage in governmentally sanctioned procreation.

4:36 am  
Blogger tony said...

Most Blokes are "single" even when they are married.You reminded me of when i lived in a bedsit in East Ham,London many moons ago.the Landlord, to double his income, had partitioned a big bedroom into 2 (obviously) smaller ones.Only a thin plasterboard partition seperated us......I was single in one:and a drunken Irish bloke lived in the other.I was out at work all day so saw little of him.But every morning he used to roll up around 2am ,pissed, & started playing his Irish bagpipes& singing Rebel Songs........luckly for me,after a few weeks of this (i had to get up for work at 7am!)A knife carrying Canadian psychopath moved into The House.I got friendly with him We had a lot in common (we both liked Neil Young).He went round to the Irishman one night & did something unspeakable to his bagpipes............Peace At Last!

8:58 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

View:
Ah - but your life has been rich in experiences - and will be again.

Mr. C:
I would agree - But they aren't enjoying.
They are sad lads and some of them are now in their forties.

Tony:
You could do a post on that.
This sounds like the flats 10 years ago.
I certainly prefer the sad lads.

10:23 am  
Blogger SSS said...

Maybe they're all on forums? I know the Doctor Who one is crawling with men.......

I think it's an age thing. I'm not male but I'm sort of in the same boat. Your friends get married and have kids and you don't have much in common. Visiting them in the evenings often turns into a blow by blow account of the childs development, which, whilst fascinating for the parents, doesn't give the childless much to do other than smile, nod and look for a large drink. You know you're getting old when a night in the pub leaves you wondering if half the other patrons were even born when you left school.

Ha. I'm not bitter, am I?

11:52 am  
Blogger Murph said...

I can sort this one out for you, Kaz.

They're all gay.

12:14 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

I feel ever so sad now. I know what it's like to be a young, lonely man. It's all very well hearing other people say "There's someone out there for everyone" but that's bollocks. I got lucky after nothing clicking in my twenties and early thirties. Absolutely no empathy whatsoever anywhere. The Morrissey years.

1:35 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

sss:
Is that the same as a chat room?
Sounds about right.
Oh yes - friends having kids is such bad news. But - at least if you're patient the kids grow up and release your mates back into real life again.

Murph:
D'ya think so?
If so they must still be firmly locked in the closet.
And they certainly aren't gay in the old sense of the word

Geoff:
And after Morrissey - the Betty years.
What a great swap.

5:59 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Sounds like I'd fit right in.

6:13 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
No way - You're not sad - you're bad ..... but in a good way.

8:54 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Will I cum, you ask?

Most likely I will, especially if you can lure those singing rowdy Oirish men to the party.

9:06 pm  
Blogger Midnight said...

Are they lonely? Or just happy with their own space, no pressures and being able to do what they want, when they want to?

I certainly think they are missing out on life if they live a hermit type existence, but I can see why some men choose that course in life, even if only for a period in their lives.

8:36 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

mj:
If you sing 'Whiskey in the Jar' and wave your Jamesons bottle they'll all come running.

Middy:
I think it's a bit of both.
Hope your love life is still thriving.

10:08 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Well I am lusting after the nice young man living nextdoor

10:22 am  
Blogger Ackworth Born said...

Some things have changed and some haven't - I remember when I was young and single and lived in a flat/bedsit I'd drive home to Mum most weekends with a bag full of laundry in the boot!

2:52 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
I'll drill a peep hole in the wall for you.

Gerald:
It's hard to cope wth laundry in a bedsit - that's why they invented launderettes!

10:14 pm  
Blogger Gordie said...

I'm a single man, and my social life is a bit like an allotment. I have to maintain it, or it will go wild and nothing will grow (that's the paradox).

In the pub last night, I saw a long table of couples, all sitting as far as possible from their partner, and all comfortable knowing (not just) who they were shackled to, but who they were going to talk to the pub to get away from them, for ever and ever.

I have friends I love, and who love me. I just don't feel inclined to breed in captivity.

1:55 am  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

I think you should find a free room in a nice local pub and start hosting singles nights Kaz!

You'd make a great Introducer to get them all chatting. Or a latter day 'Madam'

4:50 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

Kaz doezn't need a pub, poet, she's got this blog.

7:19 pm  
Blogger Mr Coppens said...

My Good-Lady-Wife made me watch the Sex In The City movie last night.

I was surprised to learn that shopping for designer clothes and accessories was THE sexiest element of lady porn..
now it all makes sense.

I'm am so relieved that women are as shallow and base as we are..
whew!

7:37 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Gordie:
Shackled??
That invites further discussion.
Laura:
I was always at my best in the pub
But I lack the bosom required for a madame.

Dave:
Good point - this blog does keep me off from the drink ...and the poetry.

Mr Coppppens:
Funnily enough I was only thinking about shopping today.
I do like doing it even if I don't buy anything.
It's just sooo interesting.
Yes - I can do shallow - good for me.

9:37 pm  
Blogger Gordie said...

Further to Mr Copulans' comments, the more I watch porn, the more I understand why women like shoes.

3:33 pm  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

In the winter when the trees at the back of our house lose their leaves, we can see straight into the bathroom of a flat across the way. It's not right. I wish they'd put a shower curtain up. Fair puts me off my porridge.

8:35 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Gordie:
We will all interpret that comment in our own way.

Nora:
G'won - you love it - otherwise you'd face the other way.

12:21 pm  
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