Sunday, October 05, 2008

Urban Decay

When passing through Debenhams I thought 'This is the cosmetic range for me'.

I'm urban and decaying rapidly.


My friends who turned out for my belated birthday last week are always saying to me 'Kaz - you are so urbane!'

(Ginger wasn't there she's off travelling with her Sikh)

They are right - I live close to the city and love all that it has to offer. You've probably noticed my cultured, suave, debonair attitude - I just can't help it.

But now I feel a bit like Gordon Ramsay when Marcus Wareing stole away his title for best restaurant in London.

Why?


Eileen - my dopey friend - has moved into an apartment smack bang in the city centre. It's just off Deansgate - right behind Kendals.

How did she manage to swap suburban Sale for the sophisticated city? Eileen hasn't even got digital channels on her TV let alone a computer, internet, e mail or mobile phone.

She'd be more at home in East Angular.


She still watches Fern Britton in the mornings and those weepy channel 5 movies in the afternoon. Then she tells me all about them in lengthy intricate detail.


But I still love her - we're going to Oldham next week.

KAZ

Labels:

36 Comments:

Blogger tony said...

OLDHAM! Both Urban and Athletic!

6:05 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

You mean people actually choose to go to Oldham?

8:17 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Oldham? Is that for people who turned twenty twenty twenty?

9:37 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Is Oldham near Weatherfield?

10:09 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Tony:
Athletic?
More like pathetic.

Garfer:
Oh no - they have to be invited first.

Pete:
Ha Ha!
That was Eileen's age when she moved to the City centre this year.

mj:
Many famous Wetherfield inhabitants come from Oldham including Deirdre and Rita.

11:04 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

Do you run bus trips to Widnes?

1:41 am  
Blogger Steve said...

Most days I am merely sub urbane. And that's with effort.

7:23 am  
Blogger Roses said...

Urban Decay do lots of sparkely things to be looked at. Give it a few weeks and the X*** lights will be up and sparkeling too.

Maybe Urban Decay is X*** for the face?

7:44 am  
Blogger Dave said...

There's nothing wrong with East Ungular.

That's a typo, by the way, but I've decided to leave it, as I rather like the name. I think I shall adopt it.

8:32 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Garfer:
Only on Tuesdays - it's shut for the rest of the week.

Steve:
'sub urbane'
Ha Ha - great comment' - especially for 7 in the morning.

Roses:
I'd never dig those sparkles out of the wrinkles - better stick with Rimmel.

Dave:
Apparently, ungular means 'of or pertaining to a hoof, claw, or talon'.

So unless you're a horse, cow or reindeer, I'd forget the idea.

9:16 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I knew what ungular meant. I thought it quite appropriate for this area. You'de be amazed what traits inbreeding brings out.

9:30 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

OOps - sorry I underestimated your massive vocabulary.
Just don't forget to keep an ungle file ready at all times.

9:38 am  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

Well your friend must have passed the entrance examination somehow to be admitted to the portals of Deansgate.

Re the exotic travel, I would have thought Youngham was more 'you'!

9:49 am  
Blogger BEAST said...

Why you going to Oldham ???? Is it a dare or something ??

10:43 am  
Blogger Murph said...

That's a coincidence Kaz! There's an Old Ham very near me!

11:17 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Laura:
I think it was multiple choice - special subject 'Daytime TV'.
I've never heard of Youngham - but there is a Newham.

Beast:
We urbane types need to slow down occasionally.
Oldham is a bit like opium for me.

Murph:
Is he in your Christmas hamper?
You won't be getting any.

1:10 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

Aren't there thousands of unlived-in apartments in the city centre? All going for a song? Ever since all those boy bands broke up?

That's what I keep hearing, anyway.

1:33 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

Is she near Old Trafford?

2:17 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

are you?

Are you even talking about Manchester?

I'm going to Manchester in 3 weeks - well the airport. I hope it's as debonaire and urbane as you make out - should I buy a new outfit? or will my Vodafone strip still fit in ok?

2:20 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...

it's all North of the Watford Gap to me

please accept my profuse apologies for being so geographically challenged

(hope you have fun!)

2:32 pm  
Blogger Mopsa said...

But I can see the ginge - she's right there in the middle - not wearing black....

2:46 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

Which Old Ham are you going to visit - Donald Sinden?

2:49 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Geoff:
Yes - but I think it's more to do with the credit crunch since the 'Take That' comeback.
There's even empty apartments in the Ha├žienda.

Ziggi 1:
No - that's in the sticks.

Ziggi 2:
The airport is OK - but don't venture outside as it's in Wythenshawe which is very unbane....and don't wear the Vodafone strip near Eastlands.

View:
Manchester is second only to the Metropolis.
Oldham is still cobbles, clogs and shawls.

Mopsa:
She looks like she wandered in from Merchant Ivory.
My ginge (Norma) wasn't present - there's usually 5.

Betty:
Puleese not - Bernard Cribbins and Eric Sykes are from Oldham.
I'll pop round and see if they've got t'kettle on.

5:43 pm  
Blogger BEAST said...

Them cobbles will play havock with your stilettos , do be carefull

6:10 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Eeee Beastie - y'know what we're like oop north.
Stilettos, slingbacks, strapless tops and short skirts even when it's brass monkey weather.
Not like them Southern Jessies.

8:54 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...

!

;-)

(sadly, that is soooooo true. . . but in my youth I spent many a cold dark mid-winter night in Newcastle, sporting little more than heels, mini-skirt and a boob-tube. . .)

8:59 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...

(I do clogs and shawls now tho, the latter being hand-knitted of course)

9:00 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

View:
I have still not visited Newcastle.
Never ever.
I would love to - but I'll wear one of your hand-knitted shawls over my boob tube if that's OK.

1:07 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

I've never owned a boob tube - is that because I'm a southern Jessie?

I can do miniskirt, stockings and stilettos though

1:30 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

?
Are stilettos like potatoes/tomatoes and have an 'e' when you wear 2?

Stilettoes?

1:33 pm  
Blogger The Birdwatcher said...

Explains why I live in Buxton

8:25 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Ziggi:
Boob tubes?
If you're flat they fall down and if you aren't they flatten you.
Only a brazen southern Jessie would wear a miniskirt with stockings and stilletos.

Ziggi 2:
See above.

Birdwatcher:
You don't fancy Oldham then??

10:31 pm  
Blogger Donn Coppens said...

Urbane and Delicious!

6:42 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Donnn:
Yeah
Oldham was a disappointment.

8:43 pm  
Blogger Lubin said...

I hope she hasn't over-paid for her apartment!

10:55 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Lubin:
This was earlier this year - so she probably did.
However, she did OK with her house sale in Sale.
Heck - are we discussing house prices?
You tricked me into it.

5:36 pm  

Post a Comment

<< Home