Sunday, October 05, 2008

Urban Decay

When passing through Debenhams I thought 'This is the cosmetic range for me'.

I'm urban and decaying rapidly.

My friends who turned out for my belated birthday last week are always saying to me 'Kaz - you are so urbane!'

(Ginger wasn't there she's off travelling with her Sikh)

They are right - I live close to the city and love all that it has to offer. You've probably noticed my cultured, suave, debonair attitude - I just can't help it.

But now I feel a bit like Gordon Ramsay when Marcus Wareing stole away his title for best restaurant in London.


Eileen - my dopey friend - has moved into an apartment smack bang in the city centre. It's just off Deansgate - right behind Kendals.

How did she manage to swap suburban Sale for the sophisticated city? Eileen hasn't even got digital channels on her TV let alone a computer, internet, e mail or mobile phone.

She'd be more at home in East Angular.

She still watches Fern Britton in the mornings and those weepy channel 5 movies in the afternoon. Then she tells me all about them in lengthy intricate detail.

But I still love her - we're going to Oldham next week.




Blogger tony said...

OLDHAM! Both Urban and Athletic!

6:05 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

You mean people actually choose to go to Oldham?

8:17 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Oldham? Is that for people who turned twenty twenty twenty?

9:37 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Is Oldham near Weatherfield?

10:09 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

More like pathetic.

Oh no - they have to be invited first.

Ha Ha!
That was Eileen's age when she moved to the City centre this year.

Many famous Wetherfield inhabitants come from Oldham including Deirdre and Rita.

11:04 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

Do you run bus trips to Widnes?

1:41 am  
Blogger Steve said...

Most days I am merely sub urbane. And that's with effort.

7:23 am  
Blogger Roses said...

Urban Decay do lots of sparkely things to be looked at. Give it a few weeks and the X*** lights will be up and sparkeling too.

Maybe Urban Decay is X*** for the face?

7:44 am  
Blogger Dave said...

There's nothing wrong with East Ungular.

That's a typo, by the way, but I've decided to leave it, as I rather like the name. I think I shall adopt it.

8:32 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Only on Tuesdays - it's shut for the rest of the week.

'sub urbane'
Ha Ha - great comment' - especially for 7 in the morning.

I'd never dig those sparkles out of the wrinkles - better stick with Rimmel.

Apparently, ungular means 'of or pertaining to a hoof, claw, or talon'.

So unless you're a horse, cow or reindeer, I'd forget the idea.

9:16 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I knew what ungular meant. I thought it quite appropriate for this area. You'de be amazed what traits inbreeding brings out.

9:30 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

OOps - sorry I underestimated your massive vocabulary.
Just don't forget to keep an ungle file ready at all times.

9:38 am  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

Well your friend must have passed the entrance examination somehow to be admitted to the portals of Deansgate.

Re the exotic travel, I would have thought Youngham was more 'you'!

9:49 am  
Blogger BEAST said...

Why you going to Oldham ???? Is it a dare or something ??

10:43 am  
Blogger Murph said...

That's a coincidence Kaz! There's an Old Ham very near me!

11:17 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

I think it was multiple choice - special subject 'Daytime TV'.
I've never heard of Youngham - but there is a Newham.

We urbane types need to slow down occasionally.
Oldham is a bit like opium for me.

Is he in your Christmas hamper?
You won't be getting any.

1:10 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

Aren't there thousands of unlived-in apartments in the city centre? All going for a song? Ever since all those boy bands broke up?

That's what I keep hearing, anyway.

1:33 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

Is she near Old Trafford?

2:17 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

are you?

Are you even talking about Manchester?

I'm going to Manchester in 3 weeks - well the airport. I hope it's as debonaire and urbane as you make out - should I buy a new outfit? or will my Vodafone strip still fit in ok?

2:20 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...

it's all North of the Watford Gap to me

please accept my profuse apologies for being so geographically challenged

(hope you have fun!)

2:32 pm  
Blogger Mopsa said...

But I can see the ginge - she's right there in the middle - not wearing black....

2:46 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

Which Old Ham are you going to visit - Donald Sinden?

2:49 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Yes - but I think it's more to do with the credit crunch since the 'Take That' comeback.
There's even empty apartments in the Ha├žienda.

Ziggi 1:
No - that's in the sticks.

Ziggi 2:
The airport is OK - but don't venture outside as it's in Wythenshawe which is very unbane....and don't wear the Vodafone strip near Eastlands.

Manchester is second only to the Metropolis.
Oldham is still cobbles, clogs and shawls.

She looks like she wandered in from Merchant Ivory.
My ginge (Norma) wasn't present - there's usually 5.

Puleese not - Bernard Cribbins and Eric Sykes are from Oldham.
I'll pop round and see if they've got t'kettle on.

5:43 pm  
Blogger BEAST said...

Them cobbles will play havock with your stilettos , do be carefull

6:10 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Eeee Beastie - y'know what we're like oop north.
Stilettos, slingbacks, strapless tops and short skirts even when it's brass monkey weather.
Not like them Southern Jessies.

8:54 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...



(sadly, that is soooooo true. . . but in my youth I spent many a cold dark mid-winter night in Newcastle, sporting little more than heels, mini-skirt and a boob-tube. . .)

8:59 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...

(I do clogs and shawls now tho, the latter being hand-knitted of course)

9:00 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

I have still not visited Newcastle.
Never ever.
I would love to - but I'll wear one of your hand-knitted shawls over my boob tube if that's OK.

1:07 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

I've never owned a boob tube - is that because I'm a southern Jessie?

I can do miniskirt, stockings and stilettos though

1:30 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

Are stilettos like potatoes/tomatoes and have an 'e' when you wear 2?


1:33 pm  
Blogger The Birdwatcher said...

Explains why I live in Buxton

8:25 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Boob tubes?
If you're flat they fall down and if you aren't they flatten you.
Only a brazen southern Jessie would wear a miniskirt with stockings and stilletos.

Ziggi 2:
See above.

You don't fancy Oldham then??

10:31 pm  
Blogger Donn Coppens said...

Urbane and Delicious!

6:42 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Oldham was a disappointment.

8:43 pm  
Blogger Lubin said...

I hope she hasn't over-paid for her apartment!

10:55 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

This was earlier this year - so she probably did.
However, she did OK with her house sale in Sale.
Heck - are we discussing house prices?
You tricked me into it.

5:36 pm  

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