Sunday, December 21, 2008

Bones Festes

So we left home at 5am on Thursday - that's 5am in the morning Vicus - in the dark and the cold as all the drunken revellers in their stilettos, strappy tops and mini skirts were coming home from town.

If you search for ‘Manchester Christmas’ you'll get this.

We were in Catalunya by lunch time.

If you search ‘Catalan Christmas’ you find this.

This is a Caganer.

It's all a bit too scatological for me but I like the idea that the Caganer is always hidden in a corner of the local Nativity scenes and represents the equality of all people - regardless of status, race or gender.

No one is immune these days - not even the Gods of Barcelona.


This is the only Santa I've spotted so far.

Anyway it’s here now - so come on you curmudgeons - last year we had Noddy.

This year it’s Lovely Les.


Please don't be lonely this Christmas - pop round for a drink and a Twiglet*.

KAZ

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38 Comments:

Blogger Gordie said...

"Campiones, campiones..."

You can get a Barack Obama caganer, but not a Wayne Rooney one.

3:39 pm  
Blogger Steve said...

Given the amount of rain that's around there's going to be plenty of mud for everyone. Is the caganer availing himself of rural toilet facilities or mooning at someone?

3:52 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

I know you'd like to see Thierry with his trousers round his ankles but not quite like that!

We'll be around at Christmas with a bottle and the Phil Spector Christmas Album.

3:59 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Oh dear…this was Mud at their pinnacle?

You and Geoff are really trying to torture me with your videos today.

I’ll bet you’re warming your hands on Thierry Henry’s bottom.

4:22 pm  
Blogger SL said...

I only came for the Twiglet. Dammit.

4:45 pm  
Blogger tony said...

YUP! The Manchester Town Hall Santa Looks Like Homer Simpson.....! (does that mean the Baby Jesus Looks Like Bart????)

7:02 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Gordie:
The Angela Merkel one looks like Anne Widdecombe.

Steve:
I think Caganers were around before mooning was invented.

Geoff:
I've just watched him score a brilliant goal against Villareal on telly. (Barca won 2-0).
I never get fed up of the Ronettes singing Christmas songs that I'd hate by anyone else.

mj:
You Canucks just don't appreciate good music.
Oooh Thierry's bottom.

SL:
Cheesy Wotsit?

Tony:
Yellow is not a good colour for baby Jesus.
Then again it's not a good colour for anyone (see above re Villareal).

8:07 pm  
Blogger scarlet-blue said...

The caganer is a pooper!!! fertilizing the earth! Goodness me. Well I won't be a party pooper then... that was a dreadful joke. Apologies....
Sx

8:48 pm  
Blogger tom909 said...

I've got one of those bare arsed little things - I bought it from a pixie shop on Dartmoor. Now I know what it is I'll put it out for Xmas.
Happy sunny Xmas Kas!

8:54 pm  
Blogger BEAST said...

The twiglet , the king of snacks . I could never see you with a pickled onion monster munch.
I used to share a flat with Les's half mauri neice

8:58 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

thank god I thought you were serious about the twiglets for a moment . . .
Happy Xas Kaz, I'll be over with some thing fizzy, and a calendar featuring MM and FHP - (I so wish I were joking)

7:20 am  
Blogger Dave said...

We'll all call in on our way to Australia. Could you get some turkey sandwiches ready for us? Ta.

8:09 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Scarlet:
You can poop my party any day.
Have a cheesy wotsit.

Tom:
Don't forget to hide it behind Mary and Joseph and the three wise men.
Thanks.

Beast:
I'm often accused of being 'pickled'.
Was she a good singer?

Ziggi:
Thanks Ziggi
I know that fizzy won't be Tizer - but I'm worried about FHP???
Does he play for United?

Dave:
No!

8:43 am  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

I'll bring my own Twiglets then, and a bottle of something bubbly

12:58 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

As I said before, me 'n' Geoff will be staying over at yours in Spain for Christmas ... well just for a couple of months, if that's not too much to ask. We'd like some fine vintage wines laid on for us and a nice hearty roast on Christmas day (Perhaps goose? Turkey is rather common, isn't it?). Oh, and we take it that you'll be picking us up from the airport. We're due to arrive at Gate seven at three thirty in the morning.

Look forward to seeing you!

3:53 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

View:
Lovely - twiglets always go down ever so well at my parties.
I'm always left with the pineapples on sticks and pork scratchings.

Betty:
Terrific News!
I'm looking forward to it alrea ...... ... Oh dear .... Kev just heard the news.
Apparently the virulent vomiting virus has just hit the area.
I couldn't possibly expect you both to take the risk - such a huge disappointment.
I hear East Angular is lovely at this time of year and Murph is having 'Open House'.
Have fun.

5:51 pm  
Blogger Rimshot said...

I'm not sure what a twiglet might be, but I'm game to try one. And for some reason, I'm in the mood for a hard cider.

Frohe Weihnachten!

6:19 pm  
Blogger Rimshot said...

And don't worry about the pineapples on sticks, I'll finish those off...pork scratchings?

6:20 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Always nice to see Les and the boys at Christmas doing his best ever Elvis.

I still have the original 7" in its picture sleeve, one of my most prized 45s. And one of the first bass lines I learnt to play. Excellent.

It's actually got about 10º warmer in the last couple of days so soon it'll be as warm as Espania here.

If only :(

10:07 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Rimshot:
Twiglets and Pork scratchings are British snacks that do not travel well.
You should be grateful for small mercies.
Slightly worrying about the cider cravings - go easy!

NiC:
Thanks.
I'm delighted that someone appreciates my choice of festive music.
And guess what - we were in a supermarket in Figueras yesterday and what should be playing softly in the background, but this very track.
Small world.
Sunny here so far.

9:54 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Did you get a pair of those Christmas knickers?

Merry Christmas Kaz!

10:17 am  
Blogger Murph said...

I need a consolation as we are in God's Own County and people carrying drinks keep tripping over me.

P.A.F.O.D. is what it says on the medical report.

Bueno Istente in Scorchio Spain Kaz!!

12:36 pm  
Blogger Donn Coppens said...

What a maudlin depressing ditty that was! And wtf is that cheesy interlude this is the time of year GAG GAG
Merry Christmas Darlin' wherever you are BARF!!

I bet this guy watched every single Elvis movie..and LIKED them!

HAHA sorry but I loathe Christmas tunes except for Malcolm Middleton's you're all gonna die alone..
that's the way uh-huh uh-huh
I like them a-huh a-huh

Enjoy what's left of 08
xx oo

2:38 pm  
Blogger scarlet-blue said...

A cheesy wotsit would certainly do the trick! I like licking the orange stuff off...
Sx

7:15 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
Of course not - nothing but Agent Provocateur for MOI!

Murph:
I am proud to have been born in a county of piss artists.
Say Hi to Chorley for me?

Donn:
Sorry.
I think that Les had perfected the art of singing with his tongue in his cheek.
I know you love it really - have a goodun.

Scarlet:
Oh dear - and I thought you were such a classy dame.
But it seems like you're just as common as the rest of us.
Thank goodness :)

8:49 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Ah the worlds most erotic underwear.

Did you check out the LK range? It's surpringly nice considering it's a celebrity brand

11:40 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

have a good 'un Kaz

8:41 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete (Cyber):
Would that K stand for Kylie by any chance?
Should be my size eh?

Pete (Birder):
Thanks and the very same to you.
Saw a great range of ducks yesterday.

9:28 am  
Blogger MJ said...

Merry Christmas, KAZalicious!

4:00 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

As I reached the checkouts in Sainsbury's this morning with my last selection of Christmas Cheeses Mud's inimitable "Bom, bom, bom, bom" chimed over the PA....small world indeed.

Have a great Xmas, Kaz, will think of you in the sun as I down a glass of PX El Candado Valdespino with the Xmas pudding tomorrow.

4:15 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

MJ:
Same to you sexylegs.

NiC:
That's great - I love coincidences - in fact I collect them.
Salud!

6:42 pm  
Blogger breakerslion said...

Are those Caganars available in 1/3 scale? I think they might come in handy in The War on Christmas® here in the US. Makes a nice addition to any Nativity scene!

The probertencyclopedia defines "twiglet" as, "British slang for to stratch the anus." Strangely, there is no definition for "stratch", so I'm still confused. Anything on You-Tube that might help clear this up? ;-)

Happy Hols!

6:44 pm  
Blogger tony said...

Have A Great Christmas KAZ.

10:02 pm  
Blogger SSS said...

Its' not a Christmas song if it doesn't feature Noddy Holder.

Happy Christmas, Kaz.

10:31 pm  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

"IT'S CHRISTMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS!"

(just seen Noddy on Have I Got News For You!)

not quite Christmas here in Blighty KAZ, but all my warm wishes to you for a good one in Spain

X

10:47 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

It does indeed Kaz.

It's fabulous and there is a range of stockings called LK Legs. Very nice. By the way I'm not getting paid to say it.

Feliz navidad!

11:56 pm  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

I like the Manchester Santa!

I guess that's the only thing you'll be missing about your home city right now though.

chin chin,

Lx

10:04 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Breakerslion:
There's a George Bush version that may soon be going cheap.
Well that definition of twiglet is a new one on me - but they are ideally designed for the job.

Happy hols to you too.

Tony:
I certainly did and still am.
Be good.

SSS:
Unfortunately we had Noddy last year - but hey - who says we have to have variety?
And to you.

View:
XXX to you.
I'll be over tomorrow for a chocolate peanut.

Pete:
Kylie should sponsor your blog.
Hope all is going well with the folks
:)

Laura:
He's fat and jolly as tradition dictates.
I'll be back in Albert Square for new Year.

7:15 pm  

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