Tuesday, March 31, 2009


Enough about tits - lets get back to politics.

Jacqui Smith is our Home Secretary.

She leaves kids and hubby at home in the back of beyond while she goes off to London town "protecting the public and keeping our neighbourhoods safe"....according to Gordon.

Her hubby isn't called Mr Smith he claims to be Richard Timney

Didn't he used to present Match of the Day?

It seems that hubby likes a bit of porn while Jaqui's away.

It's not as embarrassing as the Tory who donned stockings and suspenders, put a binbag over his head, stuck a satsuma in his mouth and strung himself from the ceiling with an electric flex.
This might have given a whole new meaning to John Major's fight on sleaze.
But at least it didn't cost the tax payer a penny.

But Richard (who is Jacqui's 'Office Manager at a salary of £40000 per year) submitted a bill which included two adult films, at a cost of £5 ($7) each on Jaqui's parliamentary expense account.

He also ordered "Surf's Up" a children's film about a penguin - but we didn't hear much about the penguin in the press.

I can't think why.

As far as I'm concerned the movie could have been 'The Sound of Music' - it's the same principle.

But it is well within the rules for all MPs to charge antique fireplaces, designer handbags and posh second homes to the expense accounts that we pay.

Come on someone - Stop those expense accounts - they are costing us millions. The press is revelling in the excuse to be prurient and pretend that a woman's husband's taste in movies should somehow affect the way we vote.

Why pick on Jackie?
Is it a coincidence that her constituency has a wafer-thin 2,716 majority and is a top Tory target?




Blogger Dave said...

The Times yesterday said his 'salary' is £40,000 not £4,000. Are the press exaggerating again?

8:12 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Thanks Dave - what would I do without you?
I've altered that now - but I've left the 'birdwtaching 'in the previous post.
It might catch on.

8:21 am  
Blogger scarlet-blue said...

I'm still waiting for the government to give me a shoe allowance. It makes sense.

9:54 am  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

"Her majority is wafer-thin".
Is that a porn movie title?

10:04 am  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

none of this shocks me any more (which is shocking in itself). . .

. . .altho I think they should all be thouroughly ashamed of themselves

what is shocking is that you haven't yet seen tSoM. . .

. . .altho that's something you might feel quite proud about

11:10 am  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

'Surf's Up'? What a pervert, watching films about penguins!

I think we should be told!

Yes the scandal is overblown but on the other hand we're in the middle of a recession so politicians might be more popular if they STOPPPED freeloading at every opportunity and made a show of the fact, whether they are cutting back on porn or new wardrobes or homes they stay in once a year at the taxpayer's expense! They are servants of the people for god's sake, not the other way round!

Irate in Tunbridge Wells

11:57 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

You most definitely deserve it - and I suppose MJ will want one now.

Well it does it for me.

The one thing about the politicians and the the press is that they will always let you down.
One just comes to expect it.
I really quite fancy tSOM - but I have my reputation to consider.

True - but I'm a great fan of PINGU!
Oh I agree totally about the freeloading politicians.
I just think it's pathetic the way everyone gets het up about a couple of sexy films.

12:07 pm  
Blogger Rol said...

I can't help but think less of a big deal would have been made if it wasn't a female politician whose husband was dabbling in porn.

The principle itself - politicians claiming stupid expenses from the taxpayer - is a cause for righteous indignation. But there's a subtext here I find rather grubby. And sexist.

12:28 pm  
Blogger tony said...

If The Government Gave us all free porn would that trigger a General Erection?

12:53 pm  
Blogger Rog said...

Was Mr Smith birdwtaching? He could have just claimed he was having a Mass Debate in the House.

It's very tragic that upright members can't bend over backwards to pull off this sleazy area.

1:05 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

I have it on good authority that one of the porn films did actually star Mr Lynam.

It's called Des's Grandstand Finish.

1:17 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Where's my shoe allowance?

Is that Robert DeNiro?

I can't wait around for answers.

I'm off on a bosomy romp!

2:35 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Judging by that photo of her I think the government should pay for his porn. Maybe they should give him an expense account, purely for porn though. His penguin filth should be paid out of his own pocket.


4:31 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Subtext yes.
'Women should look after their man and not ....etc.'
And today we learn that parliament employed a contractor to process the receipts.
No surprise that a mole has been making thousands by selling the info to the highest bidder?

(Round of applause!)
It's the way you post 'em.

See I told Dave it would catch on!
If he wanted a Mass Debate - he should have ordered a Captain Pugwatch movie ... with a name like Roger you should know all about that.

Des Laynam?
I always did think he was a sleazy bugger.

Too late
Miss Scarlett has spent the lot!
That's not Robert it's Des Lynam - he presented sport on UK TV.
'Bosomy Romp' - I shall pay you "unashamed and unapologetic homage."

My - what enlightened views you do have over in Denmark.
Those poor penguins - I dread to think what they endured for that movie.

5:06 pm  
Blogger Gordie said...

It says something for the state of politics when Peter Stringfellow can take the moral high ground against a female Labour MP and actually sound plausible.

5:25 pm  
Blogger Mopsa said...

Perhaps we can all be MPs and jump on the gravy train with added truffles? Everyone a winner, a true democracy, and no expenses, just an average salary for doing a lot of sitting about and squawking.

5:32 pm  
Blogger xl said...

I don't know the politics of the situation. But if he had ordered penguin porn, that might have caused more of a dust up in the press!

Oh Hai MJ!

5:35 pm  
Blogger Steve said...

Wasn't Jacqui also in trouble for claiming about £120k expenses for her sister's house - the house where she lives for the majority of the time? All of it is deeply offensive to the humble taxpayer. What made me laugh though was Jacqui's comment that her husband would be "sleeping on the sofa" for the forseeable future. What? WIth Jacqui away from hom I'm pretty sure hubby will sleep where he damn well likes. Which is fine by me - provided he doesn't expect me to pay for his bed.

6:20 pm  
Blogger Gordie said...

Sleeping on the sofa with a big box of Kleenex, which will also be claimed on expenses.

7:26 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Plausible Pete eh?
Can't be right can it?

I agree with your sentiments - but I don't care for gravy or truffles. Could I have Sauvignon and Belgian chocs please?
Sorry to be difficult.

'Penguin porn'?
A whole new market of opportunity. But you'd have to keep your anorak on.

'Sleep where he damn well likes' - this arrangement will probably keep the marriage fresh for years.
When they get together they're probably at it like rabbits. ..... or (looks at photos again) ....perhaps not.

A great opportunity for Kleenex to sponsor MP's husbands.

8:47 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The pure idiocy of officials is at a preposterous level.

5:57 pm  
Blogger Darren said...

But surely the point is that politicians shouldn't need to waste our money on porn when they can download the really hardcore stuff from the Internet for free. The Daily Mail should be printing a handy cut-out-and-keep guide on how to piggyback an unsecured wireless Internet connection and use peer-2-peer technology to download "Backdoor Sluts 4: The Bummening" for absolutely nowt.

Oh...wait a minute. I've completely missed the point, haven't I?

6:22 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Preposterous politicians - I like it.

Hi Darren:
We can't leave it to the Daily Mail - it should be part of the induction course for all newly elected MPs and their spouses.
In fact why stop there? Put it on the GCSE curriculum while we're at it.

9:10 pm  
Blogger scarlet-blue said...

General Erection...! Sorry that tickled me... not literally...

6:07 pm  
Blogger tony said...

Śpią dobrze Kaz!

8:52 pm  
Blogger tony said...

I thought you would be a KAZakhstan supporter??

8:56 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

I'll giggle about that next time I go to vote.

Ty także Tony!
I was until I turned Polish!

9:11 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Well you know, when it's not your own or....?

It's just never sex related stuff over here.

6:49 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

We have this view that Scandinavians are so open about 'sex related stuff' that the press simply don't bother to report it.
In contrast - we Brits are repressed and love to show our outrage after reading about it.

7:44 am  
Blogger jason said...

prurience...is one of my favorite words!
I try to slip it in every chance I get.

9:53 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hi Jason:
I love it - and may you long continue to get lots of chances to slip it in!

9:29 pm  
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