Thursday, March 12, 2009

Searching

I like to blog when I'm in Spain.

There's no telly to watch unless you like NCIS in Catalan. There's football, but Liverpool 4 - Real Madrid 0 was switched off before half time.

So Kev and I sometimes sit at opposite ends of the table using his and her laptops.

Recently I realised I was typing with my back to the mirror. OOPs - Still it's OK because he'll think my blog is called ZAK.

(N.B. Kaz was my work name - Kev calls me by a similar 3 letter diminutive which begins with C)

But supposing he did a search for 'KAZ'.

Searchers have previously found their way here with terms such as -
  • kaz takes it in the bottom
  • nude kaz pictures
  • kaz hedge trimmer
  • kaz manchester united (Get lost)
  • kaz bondage
  • kaz enema British
  • kaz sex photos
  • kaz pussy
  • major tom and kaz
  • kaz fish and chips
  • I would like to see kaz nude photos (they are very polite in Kenya)
  • kaz model England (That's me)
  • when I had a cold kaz rubbed some product on me

But searching for just 'Kaz' - NO - I'm just ignored.

I tried searching on Google as far as page 25 - not a mention.

Google obviously only sends the perverts over here.


KAZ

Labels:

49 Comments:

Blogger CyberPete said...

Are you sure it's a 3 letter word?

Wow you get all the good visitors don't you? I'm surprised they don't stick around to comment.

You should do a TV show 'Kaz and Kev'. It would be a smash!

8:32 am  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Excuse me, Google does not send perverts here. I found you all on my own.

8:38 am  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

. . .but if you do type KAZ into google, a very wide variety of topics come up. . .

KAZ USA Store · KAZ UK Store · KAZ Canada Store · KAZ EU Store · KAZ Australia Store · KAZ New Zealand Store · KAZ South Africa Store

KAZ Advertising and commercial photography with tuition for amateur photographers in fashion, still life and glamour. Portfolios for male and female models. UK.

KAZ runs in a popup window without a toolbar to prevent users accidentally exiting the course through use of the browser's back button.

KAZ Manufacturer of humidifiers, vaporizers, insect control products, heaters, fans, and air cleaners.

KAZ 298.75 -11.25 (-3.63%) 12 Mar 08:32 GMT, Open: 309.75, High: 309.75, Low: 292.00, Volume: 313,351, Avg Vol: N/A, Mkt Cap: 1.60B

Crafty ideas by KAZ providing a complete range of craft products.

Jazz influenced singer, songwriter and guitarist, KAZ is an increasingly acclaimed, young UK singer, songwriter & guitarist.

KAZ is a master of deception. His works posit ordinary objects with a humble simplicity. View art online at The Saatchi Gallery - London contemporary ...

KAZ will teach you how to learn to type and master your computer ... Learning to touch type with KAZ is tested and proven with over 1 million users. ...

and so it goes on

none as interesting as your thoughts here, of course. . .

(-;

8:56 am  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

(I think I like this one best: "KAZ runs in a popup window without a toolbar to prevent users accidentally exiting the course through use of the browser's back button")

8:57 am  
Blogger Dave said...

What does Abby sound like in Catalan?

9:13 am  
Blogger Rog said...

If I could just inject a worrying note, could it be that all that searching is actually romantic tinker Kev trying to track you down from the bottom end of the table?

Change places and see if you can track down "Vek".

9:17 am  
Blogger scarlet-blue said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

9:17 am  
Blogger scarlet-blue said...

How about Kaz's Underworld - A weekly humor strip by Kaz, about sordid doings in a surreal city ???
Sx

P.S Sorry for deletion.. I'm having a misspelling typo day.

9:20 am  
Anonymous NiC said...

You're (unsurprisingly) Google's Number 1 for "Kaz Vitapointe"!

9:22 am  
Blogger Rol said...

I'm not sure it's google's fault. It's just that perverts are the only people using the internet.

I should know.

12:56 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
Perhaps they're the type of commenters who say - 'Hi Kaz love the blog' - then never come back.
TV show - excellent idea.
Who would you choose to play the part of Kaz?

Vicus:
Fancy some fish and chips?

View:
I award you a phD for your research - Doctor View sounds good.

View 2:
That's lovely.
But I would like to be the Kaz who is 'being an increasingly acclaimed, young UK singer, songwriter & guitarist'.
If only.

Dave:
Like a completely different person who speaks Catalan.
But she is still just as brilliant.

Rog:
I have become accustomed to your 'worrying notes' since you directed me to Kev's secret blog last year.
Google introduced me to Tom Vek - a solo singer guitarist - remind you of anyone?

Scarlet:
Kaz's Underworld sounds good - unless you are a Coronation St fan where 'Underworld' is a knicker factory.
I assumed the deletion was Rog saying something rude and then thinking better of it.

NiC:
Nos 1 and 2.
Hey - perhaps I can ask them for more vouchers.

Rol:
I see what you mean - just look at that lot above.

1:22 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

What about Kaz Doorstep Challenge?

1:23 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Geoff:
That Shane Ritchie had better not come round to my doorstep - unless he wants a thick ear!

1:29 pm  
Blogger Donn Coppens said...

Oh that Cyberpete and his three letter word...what a rascal.

I've never had anyone EVER find my Blog via googling...nor do I expect anyone to. You could change all of that by simply posting photos in accordance with some of the titles that you found.

Wow..I appreciate your dedication to the craft. In a few sleeps I will be practicing my Spanglish in Mayheeko and the last thing that I will be doing is blogging...I will be to busy doing NOTHING..nada..zippo..I will be a glowing-red, gluttonous, inebriated, lump on the beach.
Brain? I won't need no steekeen' Brain!

I will conserve all of my strength for oggling over my book (just have to make certain that it isn't upside down again..awkward) and lifting my arm so that a nice man can quietly replace the drink in my hand.
Definitely Old School.

2:51 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Someone found my blog by Googling “Naked Kaz.”

I get some peculiar searches with my name as well.

For example, “Mistress MJ force feeding” and someone posing the question, “MJ was gay Saturday?”

3:26 pm  
Blogger tony said...

one of the reasons i like your blog is that my birth certificate reads "Karol Anthony Zimnoch".Spooky or What!

4:46 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Donn:
Remember our life styles are different.
I am on a sort of permanent holiday.
Hence during my time in Spain I don't really need to turn into an idle lump because I am one already.
Kev can be relied upon to replenish the drink at regular intervals - he does have his uses.


MJ:
Gay?
If you're going be Gay it should definitely be on a Saturday.
The best night in the Village.

Tony:
So - you should have called your blog KAZ and mine should have been Everton.

5:20 pm  
Blogger scarlet-blue said...

...I thought 'Underworld' sounded familiar...
Sx

7:11 pm  
Blogger Steve said...

'Ere darlin', I 'as to admit, like, it were the hedge trimmers and the fish 'n' chips that brought me here initially. Now I only stay for the British enema.

7:25 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Hmmm. That's not easy. How about no not her, and not her. Hmmm. Well I'd cast Lauren Graham for anything and she's pretty and very talented but maybe she's not YOU. Bette Midler?

6:24 am  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

I'm more than happy to be one of those perverts Kaz.... I just wish I had more time for more perving... :O).. love that list...

11:34 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Scarlet:
That place just hasn't been the same since Mike Baldwin died.

Steve:
I don't really know why it must be British - but it makes me very proud.

Pete:
(Ignores bette Midler suggestion)
:(
Lauren Graham - Hmm yes - but a bit too sporty looking.
Think KAZ think wimp.

Wom:
Perhaps you were the Tom in 'Major Tom'.

12:19 pm  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

I think he could only love you all the more! You have a blog to be proud of Kaz. And when you talk about him, while there may be a touch of mild brutality here and there, there is also evidently a lot of genuine affection too. Think he would particularly like your old band line-up poster post from a few weeks ago.

His n hers laptops - how romantic!

3:15 pm  
Blogger Jane P said...

I wish I was somewhere warm.

3:31 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Laura:
Interesting opinion - thanks.
I haven't said anything too brutal recently - but there's lots of stuff here which could be 'used in evidence against me'.
But if friend A read the blog there would really be trouble.

Jane:
Spring is (hopefully) on its way.

7:03 pm  
Blogger scarlet-blue said...

I have tagged you...
Sx

10:30 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

I already did something like this for Pete.
Will this do?

7:46 am  
Blogger SSS said...

Oh dearie me.

I did laugh, though.

10:04 am  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

In the sanscript, ancient, no longer used Juzbekhistani language, the word Kaz means "blogger".

2:04 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

But I LOVE Bette!

A non overweight Kirstie Alley? I should just stop before I insult you again right?

4:53 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

SSS:
But those people who found me via NiC are not perverts - of course.

Nora:
I wonder what Nora means?

Pete:
Kirsty is fine - nut they're all so BIG.
Remember I'm Kylie size.
But no I'm not suggesting Kylie - perhaps Sandra Bullock, Diane Keaton or Sally Field.
Let's stop NOW.
We are waiting for your announcement.

5:57 pm  
Blogger tony said...

"Charlie"?

8:02 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Tony - Your cat?
Have I got it wrong?

8:04 am  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

Ah, "Nora" means: "Blogger but not as good as Kaz".

5:07 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Nora:
No - it means - "Blogger - but not as long winded as Kaz".

6:59 pm  
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