Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Life's too Short.

You may recall Barbara or friend 'A' - the eccentric one who (unlike my scintillating friends B, C and D) is seriously lacking in social skills.

We had arranged to go for a walk. She rang me and said she would be delayed as 'she still had two cups of tea to drink'. See what I mean?

Lunch in Uppermill was planned. Friend 'A' doesn't like pubs so we ended up in a pretentious little bistro. Our order of pesto and mozzarella ciabattas was taking far too long to arrive - so I called over the waiter and ordered a glass of white wine 'Be a good chap and make it very dry, very cold and very quick' says I .

Friend (?) 'A' gave me a killer look and said (for all to hear) 'Oh NO Kaz you aren't having WINE again are you???
It's sooo bad for you.

In reply to which I said (without counting to 10!) "Barbara - would you like a slap?"

We finished the meal in silence, walked home in silence and parted in silence.

This happened some time ago, since when no phone calls or e mails have been exchanged. But last week I was reminded about the long running feud between the Charlton brothers.

How could Bobby - who had survived the Munich air disaster, held the scoring records for both England and Manchester United, been awarded European Player of the year 3 times and won the 1966 World Cup single handed - be so small minded that he wouldn't speak to his own brother?

So - last Thursday I picked up the phone.

Yesterday friend 'A' and I went for a pleasant walk - no drink was taken and my conscience is clear.


Blogger tony said...

ah yes,but............could she ever play for Leeds United?

7:42 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Two cups of tea??

8:06 am  
Blogger Scarlet-Blue said...

Does she taste tea for a living?

8:43 am  
Blogger Rog said...

An Easter example of goodwill and love for us all Kaz.

I would have arranged a walk, got her to wait for you in a cafe and then rung her every 20 minutes saying you had 2 more glasses of wine to drink.

I think we all know what "A" stands for....

9:30 am  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

hopefully you'll meet again soon and it will still be alright. . .

9:34 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

I bet she wouldn't have dared to tell Brian Clough not to drink.

??? exactly - I thought about this for a while and imagined her there with 2 separate cups of tea on the table.

I don't know - but she certainly doesn't taste wine.

I must congratulate you on your social skills which are obviously second to none.

Erm - don't hold your breath. She is not easy.

10:36 am  
Blogger Liz said...

Awwww. I feel all warm after reading that.

Before I got distracted by the internet this morning, I was in the process of writing a long overdue letter to an old school friend who I rarely see. I've known her for over 30 years and, despite her being old fashioned, narrow minded and opinionated, I still like to stay in touch with her.

11:17 am  
Blogger Geoff said...

I never liked Jack Charlton 'til I saw him on the Strike documentary in which he said he would lend his car to strikers during the miners' strike. Maybe this is what Bobby had against him because Bobby's a scab.

The only pretentious little bistro I've seen inside was Robin's Nest. Did you have a one armed waiter?

1:38 pm  
Blogger xl said...

I like the "still had two cups of tea to drink" part.

2:21 pm  
Blogger Arabella said...

Rog read my mind.

You did the right thing. It's her turn next time, though.

2:45 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

"...still had two cups of tea to drink" will remain in my mind for quite some time. My grandmother was a bit like that.

My hat off to you for getting back with A (apart from it being a potential source of good new quotes), I don't know if I would have been so forgiving.... even if a friend thought they were telling me something to help me.

It must have been difficult being a Charlton brother...one played for dirty, dirty Leeds and the other for cheating bastards Man U. No wonder they didn't talk to one another.

3:30 pm  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

Definitely agree with it being her turn next time.

You can't be the only one making the effort, because then it is not a friendship... even friendships take effort to keep them healthy and happy, just like any relationship.

My best friend and I have been very close for 36 1/2 years. We had a stint of about two years where we didn't talk, and now, neither of us can remember why! But we both put in the effort and love each other dearly.

Just make sure you get back what you put in, Kaz... if it is totally one-sided, it ain't worth it, honey.

3:46 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

'Writing a letter' is a dying art.
Thank goodness for e mail or I wouldn't have any friends left.
Your friend sounds a bit like Barbara.

Good for Jack.
Bobby's a bit of a goody goody. I can't imagine him cosying up with Arthur Scargill.
I'd forgotten that one armed waiter - I used to laugh at him. What's funny now??

Yes - she is odd. Perhaps that's why we get on - or don't.

She'll ring.
Her social diary is even emptier than mine.

Forgiving - yes but I felt a bit guilty for the 'slap' remark.
Your perceptive opinion of those famous teams suggests you should be on Match of the Day!
Commentating not playing - of course.

You are so right - friendship does demand effort and I'm often bad at picking up the phone.
But - as you say- long silences are simply not worth it. Even if you don't particularly relish the other person's company - it is wearing to have the unspoken nastiness.

5:21 pm  
Blogger Steve said...

I can almost hear a song out of this... something Pogue-esque, the fairy tale of Uppermill. You did the right thing, Kaz. As cliched as it is, life really is too short. And you don't want a comb over like Bobby Charlton do you?

7:55 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

Sounds like perfect grounds for handing out a slapping if you ask me.

You are a saint, and can now walk around with an insufferably smug holier than thou look on your face.

Order a quadruple vodka next time.

8:48 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

I am too lazy even to email anymore.

5:04 am  
Anonymous NiC said...

Heh, heh...thanks, well presumably there's an eight week vacancy on MOTD now Shearer has gone off to ease the pain of Newcastle's relegation. They could use someone with the biases of the man on the street rather than the sycophants they usually have on.

8:42 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

The clich├ęs never let us down do they?
Bobby Charlton was the best know name in Europe - he could have been an idolised superstar if it hadn't been for the comb over.
Why on earth didn't somebody tell him?

Thanks for your invaluable support in this matter.
I'd rather have done the slap and seen the look on her face than had the halo.

emailing takes up good blogging time.

Surely you mean 'Heroically save Newcastle from the pain of relegation' ???
We could do with someone a bit outspoken - like Cloughie.

9:13 am  
Blogger Rol said...

If I drank two cups of tea before going for a walk, I wouldn't get very far before needing to go somewhere else.

12:04 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

I'm currently 3/4 of the way through "The Damned United" so am in major Cloughie mode.

6:17 pm  
Blogger Lubin said...

Can I borrow "would you like a slap?" It would come in very handy, about six times a day.

10:29 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

It's in such situations that I wish I were a man.

Loved that book!
Rol (above) did a very positive review of the fillum - I'd like to see it.

Please don't say it to your students - it's probably a sackable offence.

11:13 am  
Blogger Wastrel said...

hi Kaz,

Having two cups of tea to drink is quite a novel excuse for being late. You are very gracious.

My mum and her sister hate one another for no apparent reason that I can tell. When forced to communicate they do so by letter. They are both a bit mad, if that helps.

8:22 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

I'm confused ... you have Jack Charlton's phone number? How is he keeping? He seems to keep a low profile these days. The image of him running around naked in a changing room from a mid-1970's documentary frightened me for many years.

10:07 am  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

Ha! Kaz...
My mind can be twisted at times... I can see it now... arguement, sulking, anger, and then the plotting... the forming of a master plan... Leave to stew in her own juices for a while, an out of the blue phone call.. lets forgive and forget says you... don our red socks and walking boots and head off to Marple Locks... act really nice until lock 13..... then a quick push when no one is watching.
Make for the nearby Navigation Hotel where a large bottle of white awaits you..... Sit back and gloat.

11:34 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hi Wastrel:
Gracious? There's always a first time!

I presume those letters start with 'Dear Sir or Madam' and don't end with XXX.
Mad and a bit sad really.

Careful - that comment sounds a bit like Vicus!

I remember that scene in the changing rooms - it put me off men for weeks after. I can't remember what the documentary was about but I don't like to Google 'naked Jack Charlton' - who knows what horrors I might find.

LOL - what a brilliant short story that would make.
And I know 'The Naviation' well. I've enjoyed many a pint of Robinson's there.
Mmmmmmmm - I could just fancy one now.

1:24 pm  
Blogger Malc said...

It's all gone a bit Simon Cowell for Big Jack in that pic.
I don't know Bobby's wife, but I've a feeling Jack's probably right.
Anyway, must go. I've got two pints to drink.

4:57 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

All I know about Mrs Bobby is that she plays Hockey ...and that nearly rhymes.
Cheers - from what I've heard you probably won't stop at TWO.

10:13 pm  

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