Wednesday, May 27, 2009

I hate people who remind me of myself.


I cut this out from a magazine years ago - it’s one of those ‘post secret’ cards and it’s been on the kitchen wall for years.

Don’t misunderstand me - I don’t hate myself. It’s just those people who remind me of myself.

So who are these people?

The ones who say ‘Actually I don’t watch much television’ as they queue at the Cornerhouse to see the Fassbinder retrospective in the original German. They have spikey hair and long droopy earrings - well actually I don’t wear earrings as my ears aren’t pierced but I would if they were.

Like me they wear subtle understated garments in muted shades of grey, beige and olive green. The Kaz in my head wears fuchsia pink, daffodil yellow and kingfisher blue.

And speaking of kingfishers, I hate most birders as well - the ones with the woolly hats who obviously think that a touch of mascara would scare the birds away. The ones who say shhhh in the hide like I do, then insist on telling you about the lesser spotted swamp warbler they saw at Wigan flashes last bank holiday..

Then there’s the people who can’t enjoy the St@lybridge Bank Holiday Fair. They lean on a wall looking repressed and cynical and don’t eat candy floss or try to win a goldfish in a plastic bag - I thought that was banned now anyway. And they won't be going home to vote for the finalists in Britain’s Got Talent.


KAZ

42 Comments:

Anonymous NiC said...

There was a Dalmatian balloon dog (like the one pictured above)on the tube t'other day...taking up a whole seat! That's what I hate, balloon dogs on the seat.

But yes, I suspect we all have a slight anger ready for those who too closely remind us of ourselves. Isn't it because we want to bv the only one?

8:05 am  
Blogger Steve said...

I hate everyone who reminds me that I am not perfect. Which, erm, is just about everyone.

But at least I'm being even-handed.

9:14 am  
Blogger inkspot said...

For goodness' sake Kaz, it's not grey and beige, it's ecru and taupe, even I know that. And Fassbinder's not so bad, at least he's better than Werner Herzog.

9:17 am  
Blogger Dave said...

There is no-one like me.

9:20 am  
Blogger Scarlet-Blue said...

Crikey... I'm going to agree with Dave...
Sx

9:50 am  
Blogger Mopsa said...

It's WAY too frightening to contemplate all this. Whenever I seem someone mid-forties or older with long hair, I think "cut it!" but will I cut my own?? No way. I look like one of those people who should have "cut it!" shouted in their ear, only the ear is covered by long hair. With our without dangly earrings.

10:42 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

NiC:
There is Nothing Worse than balloon dogs on seats.
You should start a petition.
Perhaps you're right about being the only one. I'll have to think about it.

Steve:
I didn't see you as an extremist.
You can be so wrong about people.

Inkspot:
You'll tell me next that Daffodil yellow has become Buttercup yellow.
Yes - I love Fassbinder - I just hate the other people who feel the same way.
Pretentious gits!

Dave:
We will donate you to science.

Scarlet:
Do you mean that there's no one like Dave or no one like you?

10:42 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

That's exactly it isn't it.
I feel the same about other older women in leggings - but my rose tinted mirror tells me lies.

10:45 am  
Blogger Rog said...

Older women in leggings! MMMMmmmm Mmmmmm!!!!

11:53 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Rog:
Older men in fleeces!
MMMMmmmm Mmmmmm!!!!

(Don't tell Mrs Rine.)

12:26 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

I love Fassbinder and Herzog but I've never owned a polo neck (apart from the horrible itchy one my mum used to make me wear at Christmas) and haven't set foot inside an independent cinema for 20 years.

I hate everyone else who likes Yes, except for MJ.

1:24 pm  
Blogger xl said...

Uh, I like candy floss (called cotton candy here). Pink, blue, whatever...

1:35 pm  
Blogger the projectivist said...

xl brought me here.
see, there he is up there.
i'm so pleased he did!
i can tell i like you already
and i don't even know you.

1:55 pm  
Blogger Donn Coppens said...

HAHAHA!
So true.

There may be some psychology behind that..in Eric Hoffer's book the True Believer, he stated that Americans (his example don't get all weird on me) look down on foreigners because they view them as inferior.

They reserve their purest vitriolic disdain for fellow Americans who are their equals..
ie Republican v. Democrat.

2:42 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Thank you, Geoff.

I shall spend the day observing the general public, noting what causes disdain in me, and trying to relate it to my own personality.

2:49 pm  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

I wish I knew how to make animals out of balloons

sorry! totally sidetracked from your post by thinking about people who can do stuff that I can't

4:34 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

I usually discuss existential philosophy when wearing my designer leather coat and smoking black Sobranie cigarettes.

Pretentious, moi?

5:07 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Geoff:
I love Fassbinder - but not Fassbinder fans - except for you of course.
And MJ.
btw - it was your karaoke post that started me off on this one.

xl:
100% sugar (see what a bore I am).
I think it's called candy floss to remind you to floss after eating it.

Hi Projectivist:
You like me already - that's great.
But don't you just hate the people who remind you of me.

P.S. Love your outfit

Donn:
I love the term 'purest vitriolic disdain'.
Perhaps we are describing the scene from 'Life of Brian' - the one where the Judean People's Front hate the People's Front of Judea etc.

MJ:
Please type your report on A4 paper in 9-point Times with single line spacing.
We look forward to reading your findings.

View:
There's always people who can do stuff we can't - but at this moment I cannot think of one special thing that I can do well. I'll keep trying and get back to you :)

Garfer:
I hate people who remind me of you as much as I hate people who remind me of myself.
But - I think you're OK - probably.

5:46 pm  
Blogger tony said...

This Is Why I Dont go To See Johnny Depp Films...........

5:50 pm  
Blogger Scarlet-Blue said...

There is no one quite like Dave!
Sx

7:36 pm  
Blogger Z said...

I'm with Dave and S-B - there is no one at all like me. I've got quite a lot of friends who remind me of my mother, however (not in a maternal way). Not altogether in a good way, however fond I am of them.

8:38 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Tony:
Ha ha ha - you actually made me LOL.
But looking at your photo I can see the problem :)

Scarlet:
I know you mean that in a nice way.

Z:
Nice to be unique - I'm afraid I'm a bit of a stereotype.
But, as I grow older, I'm turning into my mum - and I quite like it.

11:07 pm  
Blogger Z said...

Good point - I'm turning into my mum too, but I'm far too wishy-washy ever to think like her. She knew she was right, I have my doubts.

11:20 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

I was going to go the Cheethams Park but found myself lied flat on my back with lwhat they tell me is "Simple Lower Back Pain" I'm feeling all sorry for myself Kaz... Jane thinks it is great.. she gets to bang the bed and watch me cringe for a change she says.. ha!

4:35 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Old women in leggins? No no no. Just say no to crack!

I hate normal people

7:09 am  
Blogger Dave said...

S-B is quite correct, there is no one quite like Dave.

Except Tony Robinson, Julian Richards, Prof. Mick Aston and Dr Neil Oliver, of course.

8:55 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Z:
Sounds like our mums were sisters.

Wom:
Aaaw - poor Tom.
It's excruciating.
Ask your doc if you can see a physio and do the exercises.

Pete:
Older(not old) women wearing a tasteful short dress over black leggings.
Classy.
So do I - you won't find many round here.

Dave:
Yes - and Winston Churchill and Bob the Builder.

9:51 am  
Blogger BEAST said...

I am an equal oppurtunities hater .I dont descriminate between age and sex. I hate everyone in a vague undefined way , that gives me a basis to find things I like about individual people in particular :-)

1:06 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

If you want to wear something black that covers the legs under your dress or skirt buy a nice pair of pantyhose.

Leggins are the ones that end around the ankle right?

The only thing worse than normal people are those who aren't but do everything in their power to be or appear to be.

2:05 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Beast:
I see - so everyone starts off with nul points - and they can only improve from there.
Not a bad idea.

Pete:
Tights in UK - Pantyhose in the States.
Tights without feet are called footless tights like ballet dancers wear.
Leggings are warmer and thicker and often tucked in boots so they may as well have feet.

I have so given up trying to be normal - though sometimes I think it would be easier.

8:35 pm  
Blogger Istvanski said...

I was getting stuck into this post but stopped dead in my tracks when I saw the blue Converse.
Pictures of Chuck Taylor All Star high tops are like porn to me. Blue is an appropriate colour. I'm turning into my dad and I can't help it.

10:52 pm  
Blogger Lulu LaBonne said...

I'm with you on hating people who achieve they way I want to look/the way I look in my head - Those people who can do stylish scarf wearing for example

10:31 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Itvanski:
Chuck Taylor All Star high tops - yeah.
But are they quite the same now that Nike own them?

Lulu:
Scarves - don't mention scarves.
If I start out in a scarf I always take it off before I get there.

8:33 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

That would be like selling out, not good.

It would be easier, or a lot of things would be easier anyway.

But what's the fun in that?

4:32 pm  
Blogger Kevin Musgrove said...

I'm too old for make up. Is it OK if I'm one of the birders who don't wear mascara and don't like Fassbinder?

4:44 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
Oh I completely agree.
Here's to being abnormal!

Kevin:
Sorry.
Mascara is essential - but Fassbinder is optional.
You may prefer Eisenstein or Fellini.

9:14 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

off to get a hair cut and some leggings - then will I remind me of you?

7:37 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Hear hear!

8:55 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Ziggi:
Yes and I will hate you.
Oh no - perhaps not. We should be consoling each other after recent defeats.

Pete:
Yeah :0)

8:46 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

weeping Kaz weeping

8:57 pm  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

Are you sure you are talking about you?

You don't actually seem to do any of the things which remind you of yourself!

Though I must insist you wear some fuscia pink forthwith!

12:07 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

We move on Ziggi - we move on.

Laura:
Oh yes - I am a grey wearing, bird watching Fassbinder fan.
If I wore pink I'd have to stay at home.

6:56 am  

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