Friday, May 01, 2009

SIGN of the Times

We all love to smirk at hand written signs - I can't quite explain the one above which I found in Openshaw.

Even professionally painted signs aren't immune.

The most worrying was the Nivea one that Norah spotted.

I love this shop in Stalybridge. But, I'm not sure why Squires (Squire's? Squires'?) muffins have an apostrophe when John Street muffins don't.

(click to see the pie's)

But - before you say "It wouldn't have happened in my day" or "I blame the National Curriculum, Jamie's School Dinners or Janet Street Porter" - take a look at this lovingly carved piece of stone from over 100 years ago which I spotted on Dickenson Rd yesterday.




Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

Isn't it amazing how few people actually know how to use proper punctuation???

I come from a long line of teachers and have had grammar and punctuation, enunciation and spelling hammered into me all my life.

Which is why, after working in the printing business for five years, I still can't read something without noticing errors and sloppy artwork. If I type something with improper English, it is done on purpose.

7:28 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Perhaps the owner of the house was someone called Ivy Villa.

7:58 am  
Blogger xl said...

I like this sign.

Oh Hai Ponita!

8:27 am  
Anonymous NiC said...


But what's wrong with that Ivy Villa sign? Surely it's just stating to the fact that Iva Villa was very old....1,893 to be exact.

9:21 am  
Blogger Rog said...

is dat wiv summink like a commer innit? wos yor prblm kaz get wiv it. dude lifes 2 shrt 2 wurry about ne fink a few blimn commers and stopps and finks. wot abt glow Ball warning n baycen floo an evryfink? dis is wot sats r4.
Ivy Villa

10:47 am  
Blogger Scarlet-Blue said...

The first sin shold ave read:
Dogs R not aloud. Perfik sense. Sum twat addered an 'O'.
I liked the 'please' at the bottom of this sign. Sweet.

11:34 am  
Blogger tony said...

wot's a muffin? jus orf 4 a plate of scouse!

11:47 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

When I taught science I had to minimise the red ink or it would have taken over the page. So lots of apostrophes etc. were overlooked.
Trouble is I got used to it and wonder if I picked up the bad habits.
Feel free to let me know.

I see - so it was Ivy Villa's Villa.
It makes perfect sense.

I love it.
Is that the English translation underneath?

Not much gets past you does it?
I bet she taught Queen Victoria a thing or two.

(Do I know your brother Aston?)
I must say my dear that you make a convincing point here as I totally comprehend every word of your perceptive comment.
It's a privilege to make the aquantance of such a delightful and refreshing young woman.

Now there's a smart bit of lateral thinking.
The please is lovely - perfect spelling and delightful twiddly bits at each side.

Wasn't Muffin Anette Mills's little pal?

12:02 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

Maybe it was something belonging to a certain dog they wanted to keep away.

1:06 pm  
Anonymous Gert said...

I used to be pretty good at grammar, punctuation etc. Until I started reading blogs and other self-publishing on the internet.

Trouble is, I am now picking up bad habits in exactly the same way I picked up good habits - by reading, reading, reading.

'Would of' is a classic example of people who write in the way that they hear. Whereas, even though I say it, it wouldn't occur to me to write it, because even when I'm saying it I'm picturing the 've

1:32 pm  
Blogger BEAST said...

I am a bit worried about Squires Kaz they seem to be advertising mutliple Muffin(A verb in this case) of ones bottom.
I would keep well clear :-)

2:05 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

I am more concerned about Muffin TOP than with Muffin Bottom.

2:26 pm  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

I, find punctuation fascinating

(but I think your label says it all)


3:12 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...


Don't tell anyone - but I actually wrote apostrophe's in answer to one of the above comments. I spotted it on the preview.
The 'write the way you hear' doesn't happen to me because I'm a bad listener :) I write the way I read.
Consequently, my pronunciation is terrible.

That's OK Beast - I console myself that they are the 'original' bottom muffers.
But I do get searches for 'dogging in Stalybridge' - so you can't be too careful.

Hadn't you heard that smocks were back in fashion?
So carry on eating the pie's.

Ah yes - but can you use the semi colon?

4:21 pm  
Blogger nwtrunner said...

The "Dogs Or Not Allowed" sign is brilliant - you could sit and drink a whole pint of beer while pondering that one.

I notice that the S on DOGS seems to have been added later, as was the OR, which leads one to believe that it originally said "Dog not allowed"

Then one wonders if the owner had a friend Doug who the owner did not like, but simply forgot the 'u' in Doug.

This, in turn, reminded me of an old 'Far Side' cartoon in which there was a geeky looking fella sitting outside a bungalow surrounded by a white picket fence on which there was a sign "Beware of Doug"....

Oh yeah - and I really like that the 'please' is in little letters under the huge big CAPITALS above.

Pondering this particular sign could take several pints of beer...

Nice hangover hairstyle too Kaz!!

4:23 pm  
Blogger Rol said...

I can't believe Vicus hasn't commented on this yet. Maybe he's exploded from pure rage.

5:07 pm  
Blogger Istvanski said...

Do they sell giant tins of Tippex in Wickes? We'll need them to correct the many sign's of England.

5:41 pm  
Blogger Steve said...

Oven bottom muffin? Is this some new body shape that Gok Wan would like us all to embrace (metaphorically speaking)?

7:14 pm  
Blogger Donn Coppens said...

We shall soon bear witness to the death of the Queen's Anglysche. It's a bloody shame it is.

Personally I blame Philip for unceremoniously dangling his participle all over God's green acre! The man is incorrigible.

Oye! If the bloody Royals don't care then why the hell should we?

8:47 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Yes - you are correct about the S and the DOG - but I feel the DOUG theory is rather fanciful - Did you say ONE pint?
For the second and third pints we might discuss the correct spelling of allowed. I feel 'aloud' would have been more appropriate.

What the hell - let's have another - my hangover needs topping up.

I think Vicus prefers to mock and correct my phrasing, grammar and spelling.
It's usually when I write about football and it makes me sick as a parrot.

What a waste - just imagine how high we could get if we inhaled the vapours from a giant tin of Tippex.

Please tell me that isn't going to be the shape of the season.
I'm more of a twiglet myself.

8:59 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hello young Donn:
Shoot the lot of 'em - I bet it's their bloody corgis that caused trouble in that shop.
Ivy Villa for queen!

9:03 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

I cannot comment on the spelling as mine can be very bad..
I do know the shop though... I have 6 Oven Bottoms waiting to be eat at the moment... not all at once I assure you. These I got from Hyde... along with 6 Current Muffins which will be toasted over the weekend. :O)
You asked if I was feeling better.. I have to say yes to that, but I take it day by day to see just what I can and can not do. It can be a right pain but it could be worse Kaz and I am very thankful it is not.
I have a few posts coming up from a Walk around Haughton Dale and Ivy Cottages next week.. if you have not walked around there it is worth a trip out.

10:20 pm  
Blogger Kevin Musgrove said...

I can understand the Boolean shop door sign in Openshaw (though I'd struggle if it was in Mossley): the shopkeeper is liberal enough to let people bring their Not into the shop so long as they tie their dogs up outside, or vice versa. Obviously, if they took them both inside they'd be chasing each other up and down the aisles and knocking over the tins of Cattomeat.

Never seen muffins with an umlaut over the 'n' before. But listening to my niece's Manc/Middlesborough accent I can see how it could be employed.

12:17 am  
Blogger nwtrunner said...

I revisited your site today and actually clicked on the Openshaw Shop Photo and notice at the bottom there are some very nice looking pies with a label that says they are Large Meat & Pototoe Pie's.

The homemade mince + onion pies next to the Meat & Pototoe pie's also have me drooling, since none of this fine fare is available in the middle of nowhere, Canadian Arctic.

These pies/pie's would go well with many pints/pint's, don't you think?!

2:33 am  
Blogger zIggI said...

I had to ponder a moment over a recent child's admission form on which the parent had put in the 'Religion' box "CV"

4:22 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Well it sells tripe as well - isn't that your favourite?
I absolutely love those toasted fruit muffins.
I hope the improvement continues - don't overdo it!

Do you know Mossley?
I often walk along the canal from Mossley to Stalybridge.
I see what you mean about the umlaut - so this wasn't a case of the superfluous apostrophe after all!

The North west of England is the pie centre of England.
We invented the 'pie and a pint' pub meal.

Yes - they were obviously Hindu. :)

4:56 pm  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

I can't abide bad spelling, even though am occasionally guilty of it myself (usually though typing too fast), but for signs it is incredibly annoying and I have been known to be put off shops and businesses who can't spell.

Likewise when I did the internet dating thing, I was quickly turned off by any interested man who couldn't spell! Or maybe I'm just a snob.

7:34 pm  
Blogger Emerson Marks said...

Hello Kaz,

I've always found that the standard of grammar is usually pretty blooming awful in work emails. Even top brass don't seemed fuss with capital letters to start a new sentence.

The shame.

8:49 pm  
Blogger Hyde DP said...

I don't mind the first sign dogs or ? but the second bugs me muchly.

I prefer brown balms to oven bottoms these days - but it'll be a current scone I'll be having with my cup of tea when I stop pounding these keys.

9:07 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

I assume you must have turned down the top job - but I'm sure Carol-Ann will do well.

Hi Emerson:
I try to be tolerant - but not with those who have been promoted above me. I demand that they set an example to earn their dosh.

You could nip over to Stalybridge and get one of those scones from the shop window - or are they rock cakes?

9:44 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...


1:39 pm  
Blogger Kevin Musgrove said...

my sister's living in Mossley these days: they said they needed to live somewhere metropolitan

3:25 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hi Pete!

I often visit Bottom Mossley - but I bet your sister lives in Top mossley.
Metropolitan? ... Tee Hee

10:20 pm  
Blogger Madame DeFarge said...

Kaz - I have this insane urge to go back over all my posts and check the grammar therein. I may be at fault unknowingly.

In the Stalybridge shop sign, I am impressed by their emphasis on multiples of 20p. The muffins are 20p each, 4 for 80p (thus 20p each) or 6 for 1.20 (surprisingly, 20p each). As a financial person, this warms the cockles of my heart. No discount for bulk buy. Hurrah.

1:45 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hello Madame:
I'm so glad someone noticed the lack of discount. I presume it is an aid for the mathematically challenged.
Seems like a fine idea to me.

8:38 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

I think I'll retire to a bungalow called Muffin Bottom. It sounds a bit hobbitish.

10:10 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank God for pictures. . .

12:45 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Sounds lovely - although a bit rude.
I'll come and visit you and bring some pie's.

I hear that just one paints a thousand words :)

7:30 am  
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8:47 am  

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