Sunday, June 28, 2009

Bomb Crisis

An Introduction to Catalan vocabulary.

1: Kiosk on the roadside.

I've heard about being hoisted with your own petard.

According to Chambers:

Petard: noun historical - a small bomb for blasting a hole in a wall, door, etc. hoist with one's own petard blown up by one's own bomb.
So this is a roadside bomb shop! Well - nothing in Spain would surprise me - they have Europe's worst safety record and their roads are carnage.

Mr Chambers adds

ETYMOLOGY: 16c: French pétard from péter to break wind, from Latin pedere.

Hmmmm.

It turns out that petard is the Catalan word for banger or firecracker. The sound is deafening.
They were available for a few days before the Fiesta of Sant Joan, (Joan = John) the pagan festival of fire. After that the shop was taped up by the police.


2: Sign on local market.


Kev (the Spanish speaker) said 'Oh yes - crease resistant '.

Kaz (the non Spanish speaker) replied.

'Er I don't think so.
All fashionable clothes are supposed to be creased these days - in fact you probably have to pay extra for it. Rebajas means sales. So these pantalones are going to solve the financial crisis.'

'We must e mail Alistair Darling.'


'Don't call me darling' said Kev as he consulted his Spanish pocket dictionary - 'it's so bourgeois'.


I was right of course.

And I don't think those pants will crunch your credits.

KAZ

33 Comments:

Blogger Scarlet-Blue said...

Erm... I don't think I'd wear those pants even if I was having a crisis...
Sx

7:55 pm  
Blogger savannah said...

i think those pants would start a crisis! xoxox

8:14 pm  
Blogger Mr London Street said...

This comment has been removed by the author.

8:21 pm  
Blogger Mr London Street said...

Surely it meant to say "Antichrist's"?

8:23 pm  
Blogger xl said...

Are those pants traditional wear for the Fiesta of St Joan?

8:29 pm  
Blogger tony said...

Watch Out During Fiesta Time.I remember in Benidorm during some festival or other ,local yoofs throwing firecrackers at the feet of Tourists to watch 'em dance! Shades of Micheal Jackson! Ohhhhh!

8:29 pm  
Blogger Istvanski said...

Do those pants come with bicycle clips?
Pantalones que cogen mierda. But then they're not the ideal colour for that.

8:47 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

I've been to a couple of Spanish firecracker processions in London and Manchester. Quite good fun though not good for your glasses.

8:54 pm  
Blogger Madame DeFarge said...

If two pairs of those trews rubbed together, you would light enough fireworks with the static. And don't you have to be grossly overweight to wear them?

9:17 pm  
Blogger Kevin Musgrove said...

Anticrisis pantaloons! As worn by assorted gaudy-coloured mountebanks in the Treasury.

10:03 pm  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

if the two items are connected, does that mean that the wearing of those pantaloons with their elasticated ankle cuffs would prevent one's fart from escaping. . .

(not that girls fart, you understand)

10:40 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

They might not solve the financial crisis but they will however make you look pretty stupid.

Set fuego to those pantalones!

11:15 pm  
Blogger Steve said...

I think anticrisis pants have a darker side. I'm sure Michael Jackson was trying them on last week as a last resort...

7:04 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Scarlet:
I'm amazed at this.
I always thought of you as a style icon.

Savannah:
Especially for the wearer.

Mr London St:
Especially when worn on the head.

xl:
Possibly - but I wouldn't fancy their chances if they were hit by a flying petard.

Tony:
I watched the fireworks from a safe balcony.
Bring back the Roman candle says I.

Istvanski:
But the shape is perfect.

7:17 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Geoff:
You have a secret history in Manchester. You must tell me about it one day.

Madame:
And the static would make them cling to your chubby body.
All trizers seem to be that style on the market.

Kevin:
Mr Chambers says Mountebank = charlatan, swindler, cheat, fake, fraud, buffoon.
I'm looking forward to the show.

View:
I wish I'd thought of that link - it would have improved the post considerably.

Pete:
Not the best idea - they would surely give off toxic fumes.

Steve:
They look very MJ* don't they?
But I assure you that 'Last Resort' is not where we stay.

* Not my Canadian friend of course.

7:18 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Hmmm. To what are things coming, when Kaz has to stoop to underwear and breaking wind stories?

7:22 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Sorry Dave - but at least I didn't split any infinitives.
Note that your friend View was brave enough to use the four letter word.

7:42 am  
Blogger zIggI said...

a roadside bomb purveyor plus frightening terrorist garb at a reasonable cost - is there something you should be telling us Kaz? - we can keep your secret! Who's your next target??

11:47 am  
Blogger Rog said...

*snigger" Dave split an infinitive and miss saw it!!! *snigger*

I had an inderpants crisis once but the washing machine got fixed. Those trousers definitely belong to MC Hammer. Sadly now reduced to doing East Anglian tourism commercials...

Da da da da..
You can't touch Diss!

1:06 pm  
Blogger dh said...

I could have used a pair of those pants during my mid-life crisis.

2:42 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Ziggi:
Shhh!
It's just in case I find out that Thierry has a new super model girlfriend with long blonde hair and long brown legs and .......... there's only so much a gal can stand.

Rog:
I've told you About that Rog - you aren't back in Gravesend Secondary Modern with Dave any more.

Da da da da..
I can't beat dat! :-)

dh:
Hmmm -
I'm looking at your avatar and thinking you should stick with those lovely yellow ones.

5:17 pm  
Blogger Lulu LaBonne said...

Presumably it's anticrisis netherwear for politicians to hold all the hot air.

10:53 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

I've ALWAYS wanted to be in a slightly secret underground 'organisation' especially one that deletes annoying WAGS. However could I have a word about the uniform? I want sort of low slung combats and big boots, strappy crop top, designer shades and a beret please.

11:00 pm  
Blogger BEAST said...

Your mission should be to hang around the pants stall and see what sort of person buys the anti crisis pants .Are they 'drip dry' do you think ???

8:33 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Lulu:
I can just imagine Ann Widdecombe in a pair of those.
Sorry.

Ziggi:
Excellent selection.
However, the low slung combats are not a good look on a shortarse so I'll stick with the crop top - but add a pair of baces.
Watch out Lara Croft - here we come.

Beast:
OK - Beast.
When I find her shall I pass on your number?

9:38 am  
Blogger Roses said...

There's enough plastic in those to be a serious fire risk all by themselves...MC Hammer jokes aside.

7:00 pm  
Blogger Kerrie said...

I think they also have roadside bomb shops in a council estate near me.

7:07 pm  
Blogger Donn said...

I notice that those Pantalones have a panel in the front to conceal one's elation should you hoist your own petard whilst out in public.

What's that? Those are Ladies Bloomers? Thank Goodness I thought that they looked a tad gheyish even for Spain.

Mind you one might be able to pull-it-off if you wore an eye patch, carried the right fencing foil or swordy thingy on your hip, a Parrot on y'er shoulder, and had a smart little headband tilted a little ever-so-slightly off to the side??

12:31 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

Donnnn, nooooo, they wouldn't look good even on Jonny!

1:52 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Roses:
You (and a couple of other commenters) are so clever to link the two pictures. I couldn't.
Those pantalones would give off dense black toxic fumes.

Kerrie:
Glad to see they're 'making their own fun'!

Donn:
They are certainly for the young ladees - the market stalls describe them as Piraten.
Parrots cost extra.

Ziggi:
Agreed>
Jonny (and Keef) would look much better without them.

7:48 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

I'm sure it won't be very pleasant to wear those during a heatwave then.

Not natural fibres, how gauche!

9:26 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
Gauche?
Those pants would be more suitable for a Gaucho.

7:05 am  
Blogger chazza said...

In the words of Vanilla Ice. 'Ice. . .ice. . baby'. Springs to mind. . .lol

2:09 am  

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