Sunday, June 21, 2009

Would I Lie to YOU?

When I’m planning to go to Spain - I’d rather not tell you about it.

You would only go on and on about my carbon footprint and idle lifestyle or say it’s all greasy food and penduline tits.


Then there would be the insinuations re Kenneth Noye and Ronnie Knight style activities on the Costa del Crime. Do you really think I’d associate myself with the ex Mr Babs Windsor?

Anyway, I go to Catalunya not Malaga - my only criminal activity is stalking the lovely Thierry in Barcelona.

I could always carry on writing about football and rain and Manchester.

I could tell you about Britney’s visit on Tuesday to our M.E.N. Arena when she jumped on stage and shouted ‘What’s up London?’


You’d never know where I was if it weren’t for that sneaky statcounter showing the red and yellow flags.

But I won’t be flying to Spain next week
!! Because I’m already there !!

....... And I’ve brought my laptop with me.


KAZ

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36 Comments:

Blogger Dave said...

Here, have my carbon footprint. I don't think I'm going to be flying anywhere in the next few years.

Can you use your bus pass in Spain?

7:37 am  
Blogger Rog said...

Now that Fred the Shred has given half his money back you must be on about the same income I reckon.

I bet Catalunya is the Ryan Air Malaga.

Is it sunny?

7:51 am  
Blogger xl said...

Well I never been to Spain
But I kinda like the music
Say the ladies are insane there
And they sure know how to use it



Have fun!

8:29 am  
Blogger Scarlet-Blue said...

Can you take me next time?
I think they're fibbing about the British weather... they keep saying it's going to warm up and it never does. It's a ruse to try to make people holiday at home, I reckon....
Sx

9:01 am  
Blogger Liz said...

If I was in the position to jet off to the sun as often as you, I'd do it.

People who chawp about your carbon footprint are just jealous.

9:39 am  
Blogger zIggI said...

ha! you lucky duck - still it's only an hour ahead isn't it? Still up early for a Sunday . . . off to mass?

Chink chink I shall indulge in a Rioja as my drug of choice today and raise a glass or 3 to you :)

ps Tevez has gone now 'swell! eeek At least he says he's not going to Liverpool.

10:04 am  
Blogger tony said...

Espania ! yOU have EUROS!!!???? Have An AbFab holiday!!!

10:11 am  
Blogger Steve said...

Given the heat in Spain they are probably using less fuel than us Brits... so technically you may be reducing your carbon footprint by sojourning in Espania... in fact, to save the planet we may have to all join you.

10:17 am  
Blogger Kerrie said...

Hope you have a fab holiday. Barcelona is one of my favourite cities. I love all the Gaudi stuff. Park Guell is amazing.I do care about my carbon footprint but until they invent a carbon free way to get to places...

10:22 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

She didn't! The shame!

Are you enjoying Catalunya and the paella?

10:23 am  
Blogger Madame DeFarge said...

Enjoy your sojourn in Spain. I'm sure your feet are too refined to have something as infra dig as a carbon footprint. I am unrepentant about my own carbon toes. We shall await your return with unabated eagerness.

10:43 am  
Blogger savannah said...

i wondered who was looking in from spain!!! y'all are too splendid for words, sugar! have a tinto verano for me! xoxoxo

11:40 am  
Blogger Geoff said...

So it's not like my third favourite soap Eldorado, then?

Don't forget to shout "What's Up, Madrid?" when you're stalking Thierry.

Ziggi - Carlos' heart was left in East London. It doesn't matter where he goes.

12:46 pm  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

I hope the sun is shining for you! and that the birds abound. . .

X

1:19 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Dave:
You are generous to a fault.
No - snot fair.

Rog:
(ignores first part of comment)
I think Girona airport is exclusively Ryanair. Barcelona is a bit superior.
Yes - Sunny warm and windy (as always on this coast).

xl:
Well, I never been to England
But I kinda like the Beatles
..... well I have actually been to England - but I never saw the Beatles.
Thanks I'll try my very best.

Scarlet:
YES - bring binoculars and boots.
You might be better off without all that sun. I cringe when I look at some of the wrinkles on the sun worshippers.

Liz:
Is chawp a Linconshire word?
That previous post was very useful.

Ziggi:
Up Early?
Remember I'm a birder ..plus .. I have to blog while Kev's still in bed.

Giggs, Scholes etc. are getting long in the tooth and Berbatov has been a disappointment. I don't talk about Rooney. So Alex is going to need to go shopping with his Christiano money.

1:49 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Tony:
Euros are so expensive - but who needs dosh when there's sun and cheap vino?

Steve:
Excellent point.
The locals leave large plastic bottles of water out in the sun. It gets warm enough to use for washing.

Kerrie:
Parc Guell is a wonderland and the architecture is magical.
Hey - but it can't hold a candle to Manchester eh? :)

Pete:
And she mimed the whole way through - not a live note was sung.
I'm doing my very best.

Madame:
(shudders)
I could not possibly contemplate the abhorrence of being infra dig.
You will probably hear from me all too soon.
I fear I am blogaholic.

Savannah:
Cheers!
It's hotter than UK here - but tepid compared to your part of the world.

Geoff:
So you don't like Emmerdale eh?
Thanks for the stalking advice - but the aim is to impress Thierry - and you know how the Catalans feel about the Madrileños.

View:
Thanks dear - you are kind.
It is and they do.

1:52 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

What's with the fried egg though?

Did you only really take the laptop because you can't otherwise get a decent one in Spain?

Poor old Britney.....maybe her London quip was a deliberate joke. Or maybe they just had the wrong tape on and she didn't actually say anything

3:10 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Careful not to yell, "What's up Malaga?" when you're in Catalunya.

3:17 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

You can't be surprised that she mimed though.

Not knowing where you are is unforgivable.

5:37 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

i am not jealous i am not.....

8:10 pm  
Blogger Malc said...

I thought Thierry was strangely subdued on the odd occasion I saw him play this season.

Nevertheless, the dream move to Wolves is his for the asking. £1,000-a-week, a flat in Bilston, a West Midlands bus pass, free trips to Dudley Zoo and all the scratchings he can eat.

9:00 pm  
Blogger Lulu LaBonne said...

You lucky devil - I love catalunya, I hope you're having a great time!

10:09 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

Come clean Kaz, you are a drug mule smuggling top grade Moroccan hashish for Mancunian gangsters.

10:34 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

NiC:
Ha Ha - it does a great tortilla as well.
The wrong tape theory makes perfect sense.

MJ:
Well you know me - I'm always yelling on the streets of Barcelona.
I'll try to show some restraint - unless I see you know who.

Pete (Cyber):
I hate miming, it brings back the early days of pop on TV when nothing was live.

Pete (Quacks):
You must have the prize for the most holidays per year of a working person.
Congratulations.

Malc:
He misses Arsène.
Inconceivable how he could turn down an offer like that.
And then there's the tasteful mustard coloured strip. Afraid I don't know the official name of the shade.

Lulu:
I am very lucky.
Catalunya is great - I shall be going to French Catalunya next week.

Garfer:
For God's sake keep it to yourself.
The cheque's in the post.

6:48 am  
Blogger Tom said...

Enjoy.... Spain that is... not the egg.
Tom

8:57 am  
Blogger Mr London Street said...

I am deeply envious. I recommend Cal Pep if you need somewhere decent for lunch.

9:04 am  
Blogger BEAST said...

Egg , Chips and Grotneys Red Barrel .....sorry , thats my dinner .
Now What are you having ???.
Go on tell me its squid and Tapas . Yum

1:22 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Tom:
I don't need egging on.
Hello Jane - good to see you.

Mr London Street:
Your turn will come.
I've heard of Cal Pep - but was put off by the rumoured crowds.
I'm getting hungry now.

Beast:
Calamares, boquerones, mejillones and chips washed down with litres of sparkling cava.
I shall drink a toast to your health Beastie.

5:57 pm  
Blogger Mr London Street said...

Don't you worry about me Kaz, my turn comes around regularly when it gets to travelling. Yes, the crowds at Cal Pep are considerable. Go for lunch, get there half an hour early, grab a stool at the bar and just eat whatever they put in front of you, it's an amazing experience and well worth the crowds. I have had some of the best meals of my life in Barca, both in the spit and sawdust tapas bars and the proper high end seven course tasting menu establishments.

7:26 pm  
Blogger Liz said...

Chawp is a word my ex-mother-in-law used (usually in relation to her husband), so I assume it is Lincolnshire in origin.

8:16 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Mr London St:
Thanks for the advice.

Liz:
I'll remember that one.

7:38 pm  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

I love it when you write about Manchester.

You should definitely apologise for Spain!

10:00 pm  
Blogger Donn said...

You are so sneaky!
Make sure to tell everyone there,
"Soy muy disimulado"

I am delighted to see that Britney is wearing knickers again.

7:45 pm  
Blogger dh said...

"...it’s all greasy food and penduline tits."

Not true! There's lots of cheap wine and ciggies too.

8:11 pm  
Blogger Kevin Musgrove said...

"...it’s all greasy food and penduline tits."

Not true! There's lots of cheap wine and ciggies too.


Manchester on a warm June day.

9:28 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Laura:
I won't leave Manchester again - just cos you say so.

Donn:
They look a bit like the new Madge variety - the big knickers trend.

dh:
Cheap wine - oh I hadn't noticed :)

Kevin:
There are lots of great tits in Manchester and blue tits as well (especially in winter). But you don't see many penduline tits in the city centre.
Thinks again - well perhaps you do.

7:04 am  

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