Monday, July 13, 2009

Alone again


** I'm home alone **

Kev's stayed in Spain to ride his bike, play his guitar and have rampant sex with smouldering señoritas.

You can congratulate me on three weeks of successful cohabitación and be happy for me that I now have some time in my own little place with my own front door. And when Kev gets home he'll have his own front door as well.

I'm just not very good at sharing my space. I did it for 48 years and that was enough.

But I have been very, very good.


When asked how I manage to get through 'a whole jar of marmalade' in two days - I counted to ten and did not retort by substituting the words bottle, wine and 10 minutes.

I have listened with hardly a yawn as Kev practised his rusty, circumlocutory pedagogical skills on me. I refrained from suggesting that If he misses teaching so much he could go back to work.


So now there will be pizza eating, re watching of the History Boys, Christian Bale and (possibly) Withnail and lots of unstructured time and spontaneous outings.

Who knows - I may even have a day out in Oldham, Rochdale or Ramsbottom.

KAZ

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39 Comments:

Blogger Dave said...

48 years? You can't be that old.

8:33 am  
Blogger Steve said...

Withnail and Oldham. Now that's quality time in anyone's book.

;-) Glad you had a good time and weren't gored by any rampaging bulls.

8:59 am  
Anonymous NiC said...

Yes Gilbert does look like Owen....scarily so. Apt that he's dressed vaguely like a poacher in that photo then (there should be some goal poaching allegory thing going on next but I really can't quite get there).

"Alone Again Naturally" was Gilbert's finest hour.

9:16 am  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

I am sure that you are aware that while you were away Lancashire had its full allocation of sunshine for the year. I would stay indoors, too, if I lived there.

9:48 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Dave:
I started at age 0.
You know how old I am - and delight in reminding me....often.

Steve:
I rather fancy Ramsbottom this time.
We don't get the bulls in Catalunya - just donkeys.

NiC:
Obviously Sir Alex doesn't believe that goal poachers have had their day.
Gilbert could have been a sex object if he'd just dumped the hat and the candlestick.

Vicus:
Thankyou oh wise one.
But I shall go to Ramsbottom - the sun always shines up there :)

10:00 am  
Blogger xl said...

OK, that to-do list is approved. But no visiting a nearby tower!

11:00 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I think you must be confusing me with another Dave.

11:07 am  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

ahhhhhhhhhhh

home sweet home

how wonderful!

(I saw on the news that Manchester has a festival going on - at leat you won't be short of things to do if you fancy a change from History Boys, Christian and Withnail)

11:40 am  
Blogger savannah said...

i'm confused, sugar. is this a good thing? xoxoxo

12:20 pm  
Blogger Rog said...

I put "rusty, circumlocutory pedagogical skills" into Google to find out what you were talking about and guess what the first result was? Talk about Circumlocutory.

I think this "three-weeks-off-three-weeks-on" regime is quite good - are you sure Kev isn't John Alderton and You aren't Lulu? It must save on Marmalade, anyway.

12:42 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

I've promised that when I retire I won't get under Betty's feet all day long. I'm going to take up a hobby such as library assistant baiting.

1:31 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

xl:
Many a true word spoken in jest.
Ramsbottom has a very famous tower. It's called The Peel Tower after some Prime Minister of long ago.

Dave:
No - in spite of your ever changing avatar - I never forget a Dave.

View:
The Manchester Festival seems to grow and get more recognition every year.
Watch out Edinburgh!

Savannah:
Perhaps I didn't set the post in context. Kev and I cohabit in Spain - but not in Manchester (though we used to).
Or was it Rochdale and Ramsbottom that confused you?

Rog:
I was a bit long winded there - but nothing on Kev when he gets going.

Ah - but "Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales and biting nails are gone" - that song must have the worst lyrics ever.

1:35 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Geoff:
By the time you retire they won't have libraries any more - let alone assistants.

1:36 pm  
Blogger savannah said...

got it, sugar! i'm still relatively new here, so i think i missed that part of the story...so, now i think i've got it! *humming the rest of that tune...* xoxoxo

2:02 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

he just better live up to the no 7!
and the History Boys, one of my favourite (along with Truly Madly Deeply, please tell me you like that) - in fact I bought the History Boys DVD in the Woollies close down sale for 99p - I think I'll go and watch now :)

4:34 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

no-one has mentioned the rampant sex... does this mean you have come home to have rampant sex with Mancunians? Kaz is this wise? When you could have stayed in Spain and had rampant sex with hot Spanish footballers/men and sent Kev home? Have you thought this through? Is rained since you returned - this is probably connected!

4:38 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

Welcome home. I missed you. So in between eating a *whole* jar of marmalade, and Kev baiting, did you see any good birds?

Okay, so what I really want to know, is did you have rampant sex with any gorgeous Spanish footballers?

5:16 pm  
Blogger Rog said...

Just ignore Ziggi - I think she's on drugs.

Gilbert O'Owen - deft footwork on the piano.

5:33 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Savannah:
Good - glad you asked.

Ziggi:
Boo! I paid a fiver for the History Boys at Sainsbury's.
Well worth it!
Truly Madly Deeply?? Hmmmm.

Ziggi (2):
Rampant sex with Mancunians has its advantages. You can understand when they say 'move over a bit' or 'was it good for you?' and it's not too hot.

Sorry about the rain.

Roses:
Don't tell anyone - but I have to admit that my marmalade consumption is excessive.

In answer to your questions -
1: yes - we saw a yellow crowned bishop
2: yes.

Rog:
Really? But she's always like that!
O'Owen - sounds like that store that was in Liverpool (Owen Owen).

6:13 pm  
Blogger Tom said...

Nip over to Tameside Kaz.... we can spend the afternoon people watching and seeing if we can spot other 'look a likes' I was on Ashton Market last Tuesday afternoon.. I spotted all of last years 'guests' from the Jeremy kyle Show...
Tom
My blogs: Sam The Roofer and Moorland Picture & Poem

6:48 pm  
Blogger Scarlet-Blue said...

So how do you eat a jar of marmalade in two days?
Tsk... I can talk... I'm the same with tartare sauce...
Sx

9:46 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Is there a soufflé baking under his hat?

4:37 am  
Blogger Emerson Marks said...

I think the Michael Owen comparison is valid, Kaz.

10:25 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Tom:
I recognise Ashton market - I bet you can get 'salad pies' there.

Just checked my link and I see 'Wiggers World' is now 'Sam the Roofer'.
I'll try to keep up.

Scarlet:
Tartare sauce...???
Do you eat it on toast?

MJ:
Unless he's a dick head.

Emerson:
Thankyou for your corroboration.
Have you ever seen them on the same pitch together?

10:59 am  
Blogger SSS said...

I thought The History Boys was a little disappointing, actually, but then again I've been spoiled as I saw it on stage. Brilliant.

As for Withnail - sheer genius.

1:18 pm  
Blogger Kerrie said...

Sorry I really struggled with this post you really shouldn't have put the bit about having sex with smouldering senoritas so near the beginning and after that I couldn't concentrate xx

2:40 pm  
Blogger tony said...

Rochdale!!!!!!Dont forget to buy a framed photo of Gracie!!!!

5:56 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

48 years? Where you a child bride?

Ramsbottom. A name to conjure with.

6:13 pm  
Blogger Madame DeFarge said...

Your life sounds so idyllic. Much my own single weekday life, but without the prospect of days out to the NW's finest urban locations. I merely have SW1 to play in.

10:13 pm  
Blogger Kevin Musgrove said...

There will always be libraries in wet corners of Britain, in the same way as cockroaches will survive a thermonuclear attack.

10:32 pm  
Blogger xl said...

[off topic]

Please don't be alarmed if you notice in your stats that someone is reading your past postings. It's me catching up on the back story.

3:48 am  
Blogger Malc said...

Gilbert O'Sullivan was about as much use to Newcastle as little Michael last season - and considerably less expensive.

I hope Fergie knows what he's doing.

8:20 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

SSS:
I would love to have seen it on the stage. I loved teaching lads of that age group - they can still see the funny side of life.

Kerrie:
Behave yourself.
Just get back to your smouldering Colin.

Tony:
Even my Gran didn't like Gracie - perhaps I'll settle for Lisa Stansfield or Anna Friel.

Garfer:
I lived with mum and dad from age 0 - not so unusual.
I was talking about sharing my space - not sharing my bed!

Madame:
I long for SW1 - I feel so provincial sometimes.

Kevin:
Oh dear, Helminthdale doesn't seem to be on my GMPTE route planner.

xl:
That's good.
I often think it's a shame that we all have dozens of posts out there that no one ever sees.

Malc:
Poor old Newcastle - wht can they do next?
I think Fergie's lost it - but I shall no doubt have to apologise to him in July 2010.

9:43 am  
Blogger zIggI said...

Yes you will!



(I hope I hope I hope)

9:55 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Ziggi:
I shall apologise on the internet for all to read...unless Gilbert or Michael should score against Everton in which case I shall sulk. :o(

10:08 am  
Blogger Eliza said...

A good jar of marmalade has no business lasting two days....

2:59 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hello Eliza:
At last - someone who understands my needs.

2:23 pm  
Blogger Kerrie said...

I would just like to say colin does not smoulder, he may get the occasional flicker but that's about it.

7:52 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Kerrie:
Well - you can't expect 'spontaneous combustion'.
You need to - you know - provide a bit of friction or something!

9:07 pm  

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