Thursday, September 24, 2009

Old Fokkers

Ever since the day he arrived back in Manchester and his bag stayed 'abroad' Kev has refused to submit his luggage to the conveyor belt. This loss occurred years ago and, when the airline rep was asking about his address and the contents of his shabby valise, he mentioned 'Designer labels'.

'Oh - which ones sir?' she asked
'Well there's Wrangler' replied Kev.

Thank God this was in the days before Primark.

So the anticipation of potential disappointment as he waits at the carousel is too much for him to bear.

Before our recent trip to Paris with Flybe, he was concerned to note that his weapon bag on wheels might be too big. He was told that there wasn't much room on the plane because it had propellers. Now that didn't sound too promising - it put me in mind of The Red Baron's Fokker.

Here's our plane - it got us there (and back unfortunately) quite safely.

Early last Thursday morning we flew to Barcelona by jet (I know I know!).

Kev was uncommonly nervous when passing through check in. I was cucumber cool with my perfectly packed back pack.

As usual I pretended not to know him as he harumphed, perspired and made inappropriate observations.

When finished, he was replacing his belt and the customs guy said "The bar's that way sir!"

Oh dear.
Is it so obvious?



Blogger Dave said...

I flew with the same airline to Ireland last September, also in a prop-driven 'plane. We were supplied with parachutes.

8:22 am  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

ooooooh - I'm loving your waistcoat!

now, back to examine the rest of the contents in greater detail. . .

(only kidding, the waistcoat's good enough!)

8:36 am  
Blogger Roses said...

I bow down and worship you.

I have yet to discover how to pack for a weekend without taking 2 bags. And you managed it, with stylish clothes in a back-pack.

I am not worthy.

By the way: Happy Birthday!

9:02 am  
Blogger Rog said...

Launting your underwear in the last post and AGAIN in this one! And making cheap wordy jokes about Fokkers.

9:30 am  
Blogger Rog said...

F in Flaunting. I meant to say.

9:30 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

I thought that was a driving holiday.
But come to think of it, you were probably safer on the plane. :)

That waistcoat is brilliant - beautifully shaped and very 'slimming'.
It turns any old stuff into an outfit.

Years of experimenting led me to the conclusion that you must avoid colour.
Then there's no need for coordination.

Rog 1:
I've never been able to resist a Fokker.
And - as we used to say at the time of the photo - 'at least it's clean and paid for'.

Rog 2:
At least you didn't say Okker.

9:40 am  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

happy birthday!


9:41 am  
Blogger Scarlet-Blue said...


9:43 am  
Blogger Scarlet-Blue said...

I too am loving the waistcoat... I think you could get away with stowing a little Scarlet in your luggage next time you fly away. [Pretty please].

9:49 am  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

Thank you. That was the most enjoyable article about luggage that I have read for some time.

9:55 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Is it really your birthday? Many happy returns then.

10:01 am  
Blogger Geoff said...

So you're saying Wrangler isn't a designer label? I didn't think Foster was, but Wrangler? Surely!

Happy birthday, Kaz.

11:53 am  
Blogger Steve said...

There wasn't room on the plane because it had propellors? Do they carry spares then in case one flies off in mid air? Do hope they had room for parachutes.

12:07 pm  
Blogger Kerrie said...

You lucky lucky girl, you know how I love Barcleona.
Don't tell Kev but I once took the wrong suitcase off the carosel and went off with it. Just in case anyone was wondering what happens to luggage. It's me!
The Colin was not impressed when we had to journey back to the airport.

All the best people are born in September.Happy Birthday xx

12:58 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

Is it your Birthday? Have an abfab one! I too covet that waistcoat (and the converse backpack). Since losing our luggage we too only take what we can carry! Who needs Knickers?

1:05 pm  
Blogger savannah said...

i keep thinking i can travel that lightly, but the reality is never so. *sigh* xoxox

happy birthday, sugarpie!

2:27 pm  
Blogger xl said...

Happy Birthday!

I greatly admire your efficient packing technique. I also try to avoid checking baggage.

2:32 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

ms scarlet, get in line.

Kaz told me I had first dibs stowing away in her luggage!

3:33 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

I was scrolling quite slowly down the page as I read so at one point, all I saw was the "RSE" on your backpack.

Until I scrolled down further I thought it was going to say "SHORTARSE".

3:38 pm  
Blogger Donn w/2nz said...

Props to you for going up in a plane with props!

I hate going through customs but I don't mind that they probe and disrobe the swarthy chap wearing the "Deth two Anarika" t-shirt.

Happy Birthday
xxx ooo

4:21 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

I hate air travel.

Car or train is the way to go. No doubt I'll be attracting the attention of the traffic gendarmes in a couple of weeks.

Ton plus in pursuit of a decent steak frite shall be my excuse.

4:38 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

Oh, happy birthday btw.

4:39 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...



You in my luggage - no problem as long as the plane is one without a propeller.

And that was the best example of 'damning with faint praise' that I have read for some time.

Yes it is and thanks.
I would have kept it quiet but it's an open secret in Canada.

Foster? I thought you meant lager for a minute then I remembered the famous menswear chain.
A label's a label to me - but I think other people expect Armani, Versace or Angelo Litrico.

I don't know and I didn't want to.
I thought it might be a recycled plane.

I often wondered how often that happens.
Did you open it to check for designer labels?

4:43 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

I did cheat a little.
Kev had my bins in his bag on wheels.
Yes - thanks.

Sometimes it just can't be done.
There are three pairs of trousers in that bag and I was wearing a few layers.
Thanks X

Thanks and I'm glad you approve.
I'm quite proud of it.
Chemists know about perfect packing from our crystal structure lessons.

Hmmm - I don't remember that.
But I have had a lot of birthdays by now.

Shortarse I take as a term of endearment.
But not any other sort of arse.

I never thought I'd see props outside The dam busters'.
I don't mind being frisked - some of those girls are quite cute.

I am also fed up of flying. I'm considering the alternative as I type.
Good luck with the steak frite - if you aren't lucky I'll take you to Wetherspoons.

Ta - and thanks for the Hendrix.

4:47 pm  
Blogger tony said...

Biggles Flies Undone! I'm a bit the same after traumas i had after a flight to Barcelona a few years back.My problem was different........My bag was identical to another on the plane.He picked up mine & i picked up his.For 24 hours in Spain I had his bag.He was much better dressed than me & i was really pissed off when I had to give him his clothes back!

4:48 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

See Kerrie's comment above - looks like it's not so uncommon.
It obviously wasn't Kev's bag.

4:51 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

Happy birthday darling! I have you in my calendar so don't think it's all MJ.

The airline lost both my suitcases from Chicago to Las Vegas last month. I had a little tantrum at their desk. There was snappage and inappropriate words involved.

6:41 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Thanks Pete:
Snappage is a very appropriate word. Hope you got them back

7:07 am  
Anonymous NiC said...

Belated birthday greetings, hope you had a wonderful one.

Why does the plane having props affect the luggage? Didn't all those Spitfire pilots take suitcases when they went on a jaunt? There should be some joke about the Few here but it's just too tenuous.

I would love to only take hand luggage but cameras and laptop always fill that entirely (indeed the main reason for taking younger teen on holiday is to carry more cameras in her hand luggage).

10:22 am  
Blogger BEAST said...

I have seen Kaz's knickers
***sniggers in schoolboyish way***

11:50 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Thanks - I had a great day.
I don't understand that - but it was a small plane. There were only two seats on either side of the aisle and not much storage space.

Laptop and binoculars are the problem. But my Vaio only weights 1kg.

You are one of the few.
No frills - pure class.

9:12 pm  
Blogger dinahmow said...

Too late for "happy birthday" I'll say "happy recovery."

(And I know a [possibly unsavoury] story about Fokkers.I think it was probably told at your school, too)

1:08 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

No - I discovered about Fokkers rather late in life. I still find any mention of them hysterically funny.

9:52 am  
Blogger Clippy Mat said...

I am in awe of anyone who travels so light! and you're right, it's colour that's holding me back. neutrals all the way. AND i'm going to get a waistcoat. i used to love a waistcoat. never too old to learn.
thanks for the tips ;-)

1:43 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

A waistcoat in a dark colour is sooo slimming - it carves a bit of your sides.

6:02 pm  

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