Tuesday, October 06, 2009


Yesterday I learned to love a fig.

What a sweet, luscious, juicy fruit it is.

Unfortunately, I over indulged and there are side effects - but it was worth it.

I recalled that D.H. Lawrence (Dirty Herbert to his friends) wrote a poem about figs.

I think he also wrote one about a banana - but I can't find it.

The last fruit I learned to love was a Kiwi but I'm bored with those.

I could never take to a mango.

I wonder what's next




Blogger Dave said...

Christopher brought me some figs when we had our recent blog-meet. I believe he grew them himself.

Perhaps you ought to arrange a blog-meet too. You never know what you might get out of it.

9:17 am  
Blogger savannah said...

mmmmmmmmm, figs delicious! xoxo

9:21 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If, on your journey through chemistry, you touched on botany...you'll know about the rather sad sex life of the banana and the curious (bizarre?) arrangement of the fig's private parts.
What's next? Dragons, perhaps? Monsters?

9:21 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

What would you bring me?

They are aren't they.
I was a fig virgin until yesterday.

Nope - Don't know much about biologeee - or botaneee.
Poor banana - I must read up about it.
Dragons? I've never been too good at the suupernatural.
But there's always a first time (see above)

9:49 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Hmmm. The joy of meeting me has been enough for most people.

9:53 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Of course Dave.
But a tomato or two may possibly enhance the experience.

9:59 am  
Blogger dinahmow said...

Well, I came back to say I found a web pic of the little amphibian (see my edit) and, since I'm here...google dragon fruit.

10:16 am  
Blogger Roger said...

I love parsnips. That's the closest I get to fruit.

11:20 am  
Blogger Scarlet-Blue said...

I reckon you're saving all this fruit so that you can dress up as Carmen Mirander.
This is what Mr Beastie does. You are being led astray.

1:02 pm  
Blogger Scarlet-Blue said...


1:03 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

Lawrence coughed up a lot of filth, didn't he?

1:04 pm  
Blogger Vicus Scurra said...

I was thinking that this was a fairly ordinary discussion about fruit, and was loathe to join in until I saw the comment by the lovely Geoff.

1:08 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

Kiwi fruits leave a bitter aftertaste.

I don't understand the appeal of pomegranates. If anyone can explain why I should consider eating pomegranates, then feel free to do so.

1:26 pm  
Blogger Steve said...

The only fruit I can professing to loving is chocolate. And yes, technically, it is a fruit. I tend to make it 5 of my 5 a day.

1:43 pm  
Blogger xl said...

Try funnel cake. Not healthy, but a guilty pleasure at the county fair once a year.

1:55 pm  
Blogger Emerson Marks said...

My Dad had a near escape when he did a packet of fig rolls during a journey on the M27.

2:47 pm  
Blogger Rol said...

What did you do with the leaf?

A colleague of mine eats the whole of the kiwi fruit - furry skin included. Freak.

2:51 pm  
Blogger MJ said...


2:55 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hmm - yes very sweet - until she jumps.

Dragon fruit - new one on me. Very striking on the outside.

I love parsnips too - but I couldn't fancy parsnip yogurt.
I'll stick with rhubarb.

That is a very good look for a shortarse like me (and you I believe).
Wasted on Beaastie.

You must get your Miranda right(s).

So glad someone lowered the tone Geoff - it was all getting rather polite.
He should have gone down t'pit like his dad.

Do you think he's lovely to look at as well?

Picking the seeds out of pomegranates is such a laborious activity it keeps the family together.

3:36 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

I'm sure they add lots of sugar - but then they do to strawberries as well.

Phew I always get nervous with cake links.
I'd like to point out that funnel cake is and never will be remotely like fruit. In fact it probably has no vitamins or nutrients whatsoever.
Perhaps you could add a couple of raisins.

I suppose he was driving and on his mobile at the time.
It's fig rolls that put me off the idea of figs.

I saved it for those nudists mentioned in a previous post.
The palms of his hands will go hairy - and you know what that means.

Same to you.

3:38 pm  
Blogger Tom said...

Have you tried lychees?

As for Figs... The canal locks just past the Donkey Stone Wharf in Ashton as Figs floating in it.... theres a factory on Whitelands road that backs onto the cut... and growing there and producing fruit is a fig tree. Get yourself a fishing net and you can have figs a plenty... :O)

3:54 pm  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

LOVE mangoes... esp. fresh. Just sit outside in a chair, pare slices off with a small knife and let the juices run. Love, love love them!

Also love kiwis - and yes, with the skin on. Some people have issues with the texture (they are a bit fuzzy) but the skin is nice and tart if you like that kind of thing. And I do. :-D

@XL: Funnel cakes are fab, aren't they!?!? Who cares if they aren't fruit? Nothing you buy at a fair has any nutrition whatsoever, anyway. :-)

4:38 pm  
Blogger tony said...

I used to Love Figs but It's All Behind Me Now.............

5:36 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


5:40 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

No - I'm very unadventurous when it comes to fruit.
I know that place well - I'll go and investigate. Though these lovely figs made me ill - so perhaps I'll just take a photo.

I must try mangoes again - they just didn't do it for me last time. Perhaps they don't travel too well.

I'm wondering whether we have a version of funnel cakes - I'll investigate.

Er - that would be the unfortunate side(?) effect to which I referred.

That is nearly an anagram for satsuma. And they look the same as well.

6:38 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

yuk is the best thing you can say about figs, well not you obviously, me as it happens. And who ever it was suggested lychees wants their head examined, bleugh.

7:41 pm  
Blogger Z said...

Ziggi, you don't like lychees? I can't imagine not liking lychees. Or figs. Or kumquats, although they're a bit sour.

I don't think I've come across any fruit I disliked, mind you, although cooked bananas are a bit overwhelming. And there are some fruits that underwhelm, like star fruit.

9:01 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

Artichokes are good.

Lots of nice metaphors centred around the choke.

As for fruit, I stick to the pomegranate. Seeded with the mystery of the East, as the man from del Monte say.

11:24 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

I insist that you approach figs with a more positive attitude.
Find a nice pink ripe juicy one - you'll love it.

My only experience of lychees was the tinned variety. They always served them with those cheap business man's lunches at the Chinese restaurants.

Artichokes may be good for metaphors - but not for examples of fruit ...or for eating.
I'm with Betty on pomegranates (see above).

10:01 am  
Blogger BEAST said...

Mmmmmm figs and cheese ...yum. Have you tried passion fruit , or custard apples they are always a bit of a laugh

11:38 am  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

I was going to suggest lychees, but someone already has

tinned mandarins (in their own juice)?

1:31 pm  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

Nana Banana

Nana Banana from Texarcana
How she loves bananas.
Not too ripe and not to green
But somewhere in-between.
I need potassium you see
She always says to me.
Bananas are the important treat
That makes my diet more complete.
Zucchini bread, candy in a bag
Pleases someone of every age.
But not my Nana
For her bananas are the best.
What can you do with them?
Bake them, fry them, eat them raw,
Make a mild shake nice and tall.
But what do you think is the mostest fun?
Banana splits, Yum Yum.

Charles G. Lang


1:33 pm  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

Say what you like about figs, but you can't beat tinned pineapples.

3:24 pm  
Blogger BEAST said...

As to Miss Scarlets scurrilous comments , I am far to young to know who Carmen Miranda is. Does she run a fruit stall ???

4:43 pm  
Blogger xl said...

Maybe important? E-mail me (address on profile).

6:53 pm  
Blogger Z said...

Mm, you want an unusual fruit? Try medlar, if you can find them. Just about inedible until it's bletted (overripe to the point of rottenness), and has various rude names (dog's arse, open arse etc) based on its appearance.

Custard apple can be really nice (think custard and cooked apple) or a bit dull, depending on variety.

7:33 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Feta, Lancashire, Goat - I'm wondering which to try.
Those custard apples look like some dreadful reptile.

Tinned mandarins were a childhood fave - in their own juice is even better and no need to peel or prepare.

Nice poem. Not quite as controversial as Lawrence.

On sticks - stuck in a foiled potato.
Are you feeling better?

You've seen Frobi's picture over at MJs place in the Carmen Miranda hat.
Shame about his specs.


7:33 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

I google imaged medlar and I think I have tried it via a friend.
I certainly love apple and custard. Apple crumble rather than pie.

7:36 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

I wouldn't mind giving Donn a little pinch on the bottom in lieu of a kick.

9:39 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Oh dear. I've commented on the wrong post!

9:39 pm  
Blogger Malc said...

Figs? Brown sugar and a little water heated in a pan, drop the fig quarters in. Add a really good splash of very expensive brandy and set it on fire. Vanilla ice cream to go with it.

10:57 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

And I wonder what he'd give you in return eh?

Don't worry - It's nice to see FOUR stripey legs.

But setting fire to the brandy burns off all the alcohol which always seems such a waste.

8:01 am  
Blogger Kevin Musgrove said...

Figs. Lovely. Got six off my tree this year.

Excellent with a seriously white Cheshire cheese.

6:49 pm  
Blogger Kerrie said...

What a relief I came back from my holiday, or I may have missed such an informative blog about figs.
I think Dirty Herbert just called me vulgar as I love to put suck out the flesh all in one go.

8:34 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

It must be sunny in your part of the north.
Lucky you.

Good to have you back.
It's OK as long as you only use that vulgar method with figs or other vegetable matter.

10:18 am  
Blogger Donn w/2nz said...

Those are some sexy melons :)
but the innerds look like a diagram in a science text detailing the subcutaneous portion of our wattles.

3:37 pm  
Blogger Donn w/2nz said...

or spermies racing towards the terrified little ovum...if you listen, you can almost hear her screaming.

3:39 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Does it get you in the "swimsuit area"?
Are you familiar with the works of Dirty Herbert?
Did you read Lady Chatterley at an impressionable age?

6:34 pm  
Blogger Madame DeFarge said...

I can't do figs. I'm too scared of the aftermath. I like the humble raspberry. Goes well with champagne.

8:31 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Plums are worst.
Doesn't everything go well with champagne?

11:07 am  
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4:20 am  

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