Sunday, October 11, 2009

Wimp

NOTE UPDATE in Comments.

I am a wimp, a drip, a wuss, a scaredy cat and a coward.

We can't find any birds in our usual habitats,
so my unelected team leader (the one with the map reading skills) decided we should hike out into unknown parts.

This involved walking across a ............ rickety bridge ........ it wasn't traditionally scary like those on 'Indiana Jones' or 'I'm a Celebrity'.

It bore no resemblance to these either.


It was well built. But - there were gaps between the planks, it was high above a very wide, deep river and it squeaked alarmingly every time you put your foot down.
But, I realised I was being pathetic as I saw women with big bottoms ride cheerfully past me on their bicycles.


I made it to the other side whereupon I hyperventilated, collapsed in an untidy heap and declared I could not go back.

So Vasco de Gama consulted his map and planned our return via route B.


This passed through a rather posh camp site where red breasted Nederlanders were reclining in various states of deshabille.

We got some suspicious looks as we trudged past with our boots and bins.

And I don't think this helped.

Then through the sewage works where my complaint was a bit of an advantage.

Later we faced a deep wide puddle. So we carried logs from a nearby field and built our own bridge. Just like 'The Famous Five'.

This was immensely enjoyable
and made me long for "lashings of ginger beer".

So we rushed back to bar Platja in plenty of time to get pixelated
.


KAZ

Labels:

52 Comments:

Blogger Geoff said...

I thought I was bad with heights but my aunt's partner can't even drive over Dartford's QE2 Bridge.

Just looking at the pictures of those scary bridges gives my legs the collywobbles.

11:39 am  
Blogger Steve said...

On Coast recently they featured a suspension bridge in Scotland - probably the famous one that no-one can finish painting - and scientists /engineers had worked out that the cables were snapping at an alarming rate and unless replaced the bridge would collapse. It made me promise myself that if ever I visit the land of my forefathers I would always take the ferry and stick to the low roads...

11:47 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I looked very hard but I couldn't see anyone in various states of deshabille.

As you know, I might have trouble on that bridge now. Otherwise I would have volunteered to carry you.

1:05 pm  
Blogger savannah said...

pixelated

sounds like the perfect way to spend an afternoon, sugar! xoxox

1:21 pm  
Blogger Rog said...

I feel your pain Kaz. I'm only just getting over a nail biting terror on just such a bridge in the Sierra Nevada about 3 years ago. I had a boisterous 5 year old in my charge leaping over the gaps in the planks and nobody could understand why I looked peuce and was hyperventillating.

Why are the Spanish so gung-ho in the H&S dept? We'd have a bridge like that swathed in red and white "Danger" tape and branch of Injury Claim solicitors opening a branch at both ends.

1:24 pm  
Blogger Z said...

Kaz has no smell - how does she nose? doesn't quite tickle the funny bone, does it?

It's hardly worth gaining a big bottom just to be able to cycle fearlessly over a squeaky bridge. Anyway, you're not a complete wuss, because you made it across.

1:49 pm  
Blogger Kerrie said...

My what an adventure you have been on. It all looks far to outdoorsy for me and you rarely find anyone in sparkles on a campsite.I think you have been very brave.

2:53 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Geoff:
Neither could I - I close my eyes when I'm a passenger.

Those bridges are terrifying - but some people seem to enjoy crossing them.
Did you watch the movie about the French guy who walked a tightrope between the twin towers?

Steve:
Fancy admitting that.
It's scary enough when it's in a good state of repair.

Dave:
Nederlanders are very litigious - so I thought it better not to take photos.
Sorry.
I think you might have coped with this one - you are so gallant. If you carried me you may not have noticed the gaps.

Savannah:
Needless to say it wasn't the ginger beer what did it.

Rog:
Thanks for the empathy.
The Spanish have the most atrocious record for accidents and disasters of every kind.
And I think smoking is still compulsory.

Z:
Thanks - it might have been better if I had gone back - then I could have taken the direct route back. Why do female bikers usually have big bottoms?

Kerrie:
Fear not I was wearing my sequinned cargo pants. You know I wouldn't let the side down.

3:16 pm  
Blogger mago said...

This harmless wooden construction made you hyperventilate - but when you built your own bridge from scratch over a slurping sump you enjoyed it. And you can jump an aeroplane without any signs of fear. Strange.
DO you use gondola lifts and such transporters?
Thank you for the link to the gallery - I very much enjoy these constructions.

3:21 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

I did watch it. My legs were shaking like Elvis's.

3:21 pm  
Blogger xl said...

While pixel faced would be a good time to do a bank robbery!

3:24 pm  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

That bridge looks quite sturdy, to my mind, Kaz.

I take it you would not be game to fancy a stroll along this.

I'm looking forward to the day I get to do it! And gaze 4000 feet straight down..... =D

3:29 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Bridges give me the willies but I have sat on the edge of the Grand Canyon without the slightest hint of fear.

I wasn't pixelated at the time, either.

3:49 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Mago:
It is strange. I knew I was in no real danger on the bridge.
It's irrational - like my frog phobia.
I have no fear of flying at all - I just hate it.
Never been on a Gondola lift - but I don't really fancy them.

Geoff:
After I wrote that comment I went to U tube and started watching the videos from the film.
'Whole lotta shakin goin' on' here too.

xl:
Ha
Excellent plan - but I was too knackered after the hike.

Ponita:
You are either very brave or very daft.
I hope those walls aren't made of glass.

MJ:
Sitting on the edge of the Grand Canyon sounds very dangerous.
Suppose someone had given you a push.
Did you have a safety net?

4:06 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

Suppose someone had given me a push?

Now you’re scaring me!

I’ve been across this suspension bridge and didn’t wince.

I’ve also ridden this gondola many times.

I can’t ride a roller coaster though. Oh no. Not at all.

4:21 pm  
Blogger Kevin Musgrove said...

So you wander past a sewage works in the autumn and tag your post "I wonder where the birdies is?" You must have been freaked out!

4:35 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

MJ:
YIKES!!
I think that bridge was in the list of the top 20 scariest.
I might manage the gondola - but I'll never go on a roller coaster again.

Kevin:
There was a lonely sandpiper and a couple of gulls.

4:38 pm  
Blogger Pete said...

curiously sewage works are notoriusly good for birds. Bill Oddie once did a programme overseas and all the best footage was from the sewage works!!

Kaz you crack me up :D

5:34 pm  
Blogger Jimmy Bastard said...

Anosmia huh? For one awful moment I thought your little complaint was going to be a nasty case of flatulence.

Holy mother of God... was I wrong!

7:24 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
Possibly it's because Autumn is late here.
There are very few birds about anywhere .
:D Hope it's not painful.

Hi Jimmy:
Yes Anosmia - caused by a bang to the head a few years ago.
I have the other thing as well tonight.
Too much indulgence.

8:26 pm  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

Kaz, yes the walls are glass, as is the floor. Cool, eh!? :-D

I've been on that bridge that MJ mentioned, as well as that gondola, both multiple times. Was fun!

I love roller coasters and prefer to sit in the very first car. I want to experience the rush before anyone else!

11:12 pm  
OpenID moreidlethoughts said...

I thought Evertons were black & white? Perhaps my memory is shaky. The rest of me certainly was the first time I went on this
http://www.oreillys.com.au/day-tours/tree-top-walk/

1:57 am  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

I'm segueing between Queen's "Fat Bottom Girls" and "Bicycle". . . in order to stop me thinking of scary bridges!

8:29 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Ponita:
You are stark raving bonkers!!!
But - you've made me think that I should accept these things as a challenge or a dare rather than a thing I'm obliged to do.

Dinah:
No Everton (the best team in Liverpool) have always been blue and white.
You may be thinking of Newcastle.
And to think you crossed that by choice.

View:
Isn't segueing a great word.
Enjoy.

10:26 am  
Blogger Tom said...

I'm sorry you have to cross that bridge... I do not think I would have made it. Heights were never a problem until a few years ago... I dreamed about falling off the canal bridge over the river Goyt... you must know the bridge I mean.... I had the same dream for around a month or so.. now I can not do with heights at all.... even watching stuff on TV.

I followed the link to the 'Tripe' shop you left in my comments... I hate the stuff... I wrote a reply there. You mentioned you liked Stalybridge... do you know anything about Cheethams Park... or I should say 'two small stone 'posts' with what looks like latin inscriptions on them?' they have been in the park for as long as I've known.

11:56 am  
Blogger Clippy Mat said...

hate heights. hate roller coasters. give me dry land, terra firma and 'lashings of ginger beer'. years since i thought of the famous five. ;-)

1:31 pm  
Blogger tony said...

The Scariest Bridge Everton Have Been Too Since Stamford!

2:28 pm  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

A challenge? Absolutely! The more you are able to do something that scares you, the more it builds your confidence.

My oldest sister was terrified of heights. She made herself traverse that bridge in MJ's link several times, having coronaries the entire length of it the first couple of times. She made herself do rock climbing (secured with rope and wearing helmet of course) and she succeeded. She also did the trust exercise where you close your eyes and have total and unquestioning trust in the people surrounding you to catch you as you fall backwards.

Why did she do these things? Not only to allow her to battle her own fears, but to show the young, disadvantaged single mums that she worked with that it is possible to trust again, to learn to overcome your fears and to become a better person along the way.

So as a dare, Kaz, go back to that bridge, or one like it, and walk across. Stop, take several deep breaths (esp. if you've been holding yours), turn around and go back. Walk, don't run.

Take hold of that fear, like a child who is terrified, hold it close but don't let it consume you or paralyze you. Use it to fuel each step forward, learn to revel in the adrenaline rush that is coursing through your body.

In time, you will be able to harness that feeling and use it to spur yourself on to doing things that are difficult, scary and often mind blowing. But you'll know you can do it. You know, deep down inside, despite the fear, you have what it takes to keep moving.

Then come back and let us know how you did! I'll be cheering you on. :-D

3:32 pm  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

Sorry about being so long-winded... :-\

4:04 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Tom:
I've never heard of a dream causing a phobia before.
It's a pity you can't have a nightmare about eating pies. :0)
I don't know the park - just the surrounding hills and the town(?) centre.
I'll seek it out.

Clippy Mat:
Aren't we all funny?
I saw a TV programme about a bloke who was having therapy to cure his fear of flying so he could visit the States and ride on the biggest roller coaster in the world.

Tony:
Chelsea??
Bring em on.

Ponita:
Wow - this is inspirational stuff.
And y'know what - I'm gonna do it before I go back home.

Ponita:
Why?
It's not like we're short of paper is it?
XX

4:16 pm  
Blogger Ponita in Real Life said...

Excellent, Kaz! Will be expecting a full report.

Yeah, I guess we kind of have an endless supply here, don't we. ;-)

6:21 pm  
Blogger Kerrie said...

What a relief to hear you were wearing your cargo pants with sparkles, now you can fall thousands of feet through rickety bridges in style.

7:10 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

it's funny isn't it, it would be fine without the gaps, it's gaps what does it. I can do the 'eye' but you'd have to kill me before I set foot on a ferris wheel and I can go up the Eiffel tower in the lift but can't get out of it. Once Himself made me go on the roof of some place in Siena and I never did manage to stand up but stayed on hands and knees whimpering until I'd convinced him that I'd rather die rather than look at the view. Perhaps I need a bicycle.

9:34 pm  
OpenID moreidlethoughts said...

Pony is right, Kaz. Once you get over the first shock you get better.
My first traverse at O'Reilly's was doubly scary as there was a woman behind me with a fat bottom. She thought it was funny to jump. Up and down. Several times. I said if she did it once more I'd vomit on her Doc Martins.
So, cross your scary bridge and we'll all share virtual lashings of ginger beer with you.

11:47 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Ponita:
OK.
It's very windy here today - so I'll wait 'til it dies down.
But I'll definitely do it.

Kerrie:
I knocked those campers for six babe.
I'll be ready to face the ambulance and the TV crews when I have a second go.

zIggI:
The image of you on hands and knees whimpering has made you my friend for life.
Did you whimper in French?

Dinah:
Respect to you for dealing with that woman.
Lets have a dash of vodka in the ginger beer.
Cheers! (in anticipation)

9:44 am  
Blogger Roses said...

I think it's perfectly normal.

When confronted with rickety bridges I always adopt the koala position on a pole/tree/stranger.

If someone pulls a gun on me and I'm forced to cross said bridge, I do it like a starfish.

*shudders*

11:49 am  
Blogger zIggI said...

No Italian!

12:46 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Roses:
The Koala Position. I'll remember that one - it may bring some humour to the situation.

zIggI:
Fabulissimo!

8:38 pm  
Blogger Madame DeFarge said...

I'm not sure what's more scary - the bridge or the hat? It's a fine line between them. I'll plump for the hat. Even if it is a lovely shade of blue.

10:53 pm  
Blogger Tom said...

Hi Kaz
Thanks for stopping by, I was hoping you would... You must try to get a walk in Cheethams Park... These is also a small reserve.... It was one of the very first that the RSPB had.. it as suffered with vandals quite a bit in the past... but the last two years have seen time and money spent improving it.

8:48 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Madame:
That hat never ever sees the light of day in UK... by order.

Wom:
I'll be there as soon as I can.
I've worked out where it is now.
I must look out for that (not) Latin inscription as well as the birds.

1:17 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Yeah!!!
I DID IT this morning
BOTH WAYS.

Thanks to Ponita for the pep talk.
Perhaps I should come out of my comfort zone more often.

1:18 pm  
Blogger mago said...

Congratulations!

2:25 pm  
Blogger xl said...

Yay Kaz!

Kaz and Ponita make a great team!

2:33 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Mago and xl - Thanks.
That bridge needs maintenance SOON.
But hey ..I'm still alive.

5:12 pm  
Blogger Tom said...

Well done Kaz.... how about walking me over that bridge on the river Goyt? just thinking about turns my guts.. :O(

10:19 pm  
Blogger Scarlet-Blue said...

Congrats on the bridge walk!
I think I'm okay with bridges..?
Sx

10:48 pm  
Blogger dinahmow said...

Well done! Now, while you're still pumped...how about trying some "new" fruit?

2:35 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Tom:
The two of us shaking together could do all sorts of damage.

Scarlet:
Thanks.
And I know you aren't a big bottomed cyclist.

Dinah:
Bring it on.

7:39 am  
Blogger Roses said...

Well done you! Yay!

6:26 pm  
Blogger Madame DeFarge said...

Congrats on making it across the great divide. Super stuff.

6:30 pm  
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4:19 am  

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