Friday, November 06, 2009

What not to wear.


This notice has appeared on the pub in Rassbottom Street.

I presume these rules apply to men. Surely they wouldn't mind women in work wear.

But I'd like to add a few to the list - these are mainly for the women.

NO
Orange tans


NO Black tights with white shoes.
NO Leggings with short tops - unless you have one of these.

NO Sequinned boob tubes with micro minis, black killeer heels and bare legs. (Come on girls - You know you'll be rat-arsed before chucking out time)

NO
Full hijab. Not a good outfit for beer drinking and the pub needs to make a profit.


NO
SJP


Click to see the full horrendousness.
KAZ

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46 Comments:

Anonymous NiC said...

WTF is "workwear" anyway? What I'm wearing now presumably.....or at least exactly the same clothes as I'm wearing now when I get back to doing some work.

"No SJP" would be good enough to get my business.

11:13 am  
Blogger tony said...

Plus (if it were in Yorkshire) 'NO SHEEP'

11:27 am  
Blogger Clippy Mat said...

i'm jealous that you even HAVE a pub from which such an eclectic mix might be barred. it just makes me homesick
:-)

11:32 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I couldn't go in in my cassock then.

Not that I would want to, you understand. Except, now they've challenged me...

11:36 am  
Blogger Steve said...

Suddenly I can see the advantage of naturism. I'd never have to be worried about being turned away from a pub or restaurant for not having the right gear...

12:15 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

NiC:
I assumed it meant overalls - but the pub is near the station - so it might mean suits and ties.
Gawd - that outfit.

Tony:
You should know.

Clippy Mat:
Probably best to admire nostalgically.
Unless you like binge drinking, fighting and behaving disgracefully.
:-)

Dave:
Now there's an interesting one.
I think we should put it to the test.
If we wait until Spring Rog can join you in his shorts.

12:16 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

No no no Steve.
You know my opinion on nude leap frogging. You may be tempted.

12:17 pm  
Blogger Macy said...

I think you're being too hard on SJP. She's not wearing black tights with those kicky wee white shoes, and she's obviously good at recycling old sofa covers....

1:13 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

I think by workware they mean anything with ETIHAD on it don't they?

Bad luck last night.

1:17 pm  
Blogger Rol said...

No culottes.

I bloody hate culottes.

(Insert 'do they make your bum look big, Rol?' gag here.)

1:23 pm  
Blogger Rog said...

This is all double Dutch to me....my own fashion statement is "Bollocks".
Why is there a picture of My Little Pony at the end?

1:34 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

workware?

(software? beware?)

I meant workwhere obviously

:)

1:56 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Macy:
OK:
I always think goose pimply legs are so attractive and she won't need a life jacket if the boat goes down.

zIggI:
Please speak to me in easy words.
The Blues are in big trouble

Rol:
Yes - culottes are certainly passion killers. But perhaps that' a good thing on a drunken Friday night.

Rog:
'double Dutch' that's what Dave would say.
She does look a bit hoofy and horsey doesn't she?

zIggI 2:
That doesn't help at all.
But thanks for trying.

2:12 pm  
Blogger Scarlet Blue said...

What about Gok and a pair of bangers?
Sx

2:18 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

'Rog can join you in his shorts'.

I'm losing weight so fast at the moment, if we wait until Spring, Rog can join me in my shorts.

2:35 pm  
Blogger xl said...

I can't comment on anyone else's fashion sense as I have been ordering the same work clothes online for years: tan chinos and pastel oxford shirt.

2:36 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Scarlet:
Dave and Rog could have Wan each.
... oo I think I did a pun.

Dave:
I'm trying to imagine that - but perhaps I'd rather not.
OK then - I'll ask Scarlet to join me in a pair of culottes and we'll have a foursome.

xl:
That sounds lovely - but it depends on the pastel.
Baby blue? Primrose yellow?

2:45 pm  
Blogger MJ said...

And no CROCS, dammit!

3:00 pm  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

perhaps it might be easier to say what is allowed. . .

. . .would my new winter look be acceptable?

3:23 pm  
Blogger Dave said...

It might be more fun if I joined Scarlet in a pair of culottes, and you joined Rog in his shorts.

3:58 pm  
Blogger Kerrie said...

No sparkly boob tubes? What not even a small one?

4:25 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

Does sportswear include polo and rugby union shirts?

6:38 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

MJ:
You know they were on the list in my head - and then I forgot.
Sorry.

View:
Your new winter look is so bold. I just love the leg warmers.

Dave:
What are you like eh??
I don't think Rog would be too pleased with the deal.

Kerrie:
Especially not a small one.

Geoff:
Not applicable.
On Rassbottom Street - Polo is a mint and Rugby Union's a game for nancy boy toffs.

6:56 pm  
Blogger geraldgee said...

what is that strange growth on the twins?

7:32 pm  
Blogger xl said...

In some cases, camel toe can be remediated with CROCS!

7:32 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Gerald:
It's a 'designer' growth - so she likes it.

xl:
So crocs can kill camels.
You've been watching David Attenborough again.

8:38 pm  
Blogger mago said...

I have no idea about the most things in this post. But this lady wearing a kind of mushroom in the last picture seems to have some awfully crossed legs. She should hide them.
Soem years ago I deceided to wear suits or at least jackets and - vide - no more fashion problems.

9:30 pm  
Blogger Scarlet Blue said...

I see that Dave is getting better... he's getting a bit frisky!
Sx

10:42 pm  
OpenID moreidlethoughts said...

Some pubs in this sunburned country have a dress code: "no singlets and thongs."
(in case you don't know, thongs are the strap-between-the-toes- sandals, not the Rudy Gernrich kind.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thong_(clothing))

6:53 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

mago:
Blue mushrooms?
Sounds like you've been smoking them.
I envy blokes their jacket pockets.

Scarlet:
It's the drink!

Dinah:
Wow - Wiki certainly knows his thongs.
I certainly wouldn't want to drink my pint next to a G string wearer, but I can't see what's wrong with flip flops.

11:58 am  
Blogger Flaming Nora said...

Does flammable nylon count?

2:50 pm  
Blogger Kevin Musgrove said...

No caps?

On Ramsbottom Street?

How do they fan the froth off their ale?

5:09 pm  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

And no culottes or Cole-esque trousers with the sides missing. Revolting apparel.

6:42 pm  
Blogger BEAST said...

I am with you on the fake tan issue , there is a girl at work who looks like she has been painted with cuprinol shed protector......its not an attractive look

12:07 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

Damn. I always thought I looked particularly fetching when I wore my boiler suit to the pub.

Back to the fashion drawing board.

2:37 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Nora:
Flammable Nylon NO - but Flaming Nora's OK.

Kevin:
I suppose they have to leave them behind on't loom.
But it's OK - they all drink Pils now.
Rassbottom

Laura:
I was looking at a pic of that yesterday - my jaw dropped.
But apparently she's no1 in both charts.
*sigh*

Beastie:
That's not even a good look on a shed!

Roses:
I used to love boiler suits - apart from in the loo.
Sew on trillions of sequins and it can't possibly count as work wear.

4:11 pm  
Blogger Kevin Musgrove said...

Rassbottom Street. That would explain it. (-:

5:22 pm  
Blogger Madame DeFarge said...

I am now looking through my wardrobe to expunge all inappropriate items. I dare not be seen in the corridors of Whitehall without my regulation M and S black trousers. It's just not done. But can I keep my rara skirt?

7:53 pm  
Blogger Mopsa said...

well, it's a good thing that pub isn't in the local village where we all go in wearing wellies and thick jumpers smeared with cow dung. It's a pheromone thing.

8:45 pm  
Blogger Kerrie said...

Just popped into ask if Sequined leggings are O.K? I have just bought some in a cheer myself up shopping attack and I need to know before I go out?
( I don't have one of those camel toe things!)

10:00 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Kevin:
But - I'm afraid I don't know what a Rassbottom is.
Sounds a bit Peter Tosh to me.

Madame:
Where would we all be without black trousers?
Rara skirts will be fine - but you must have three ras in three different colours.
OK?

Mopsa:
I understand - you would not be welcome smelling of soap.

Kerrie:
I had to give some thought to this one.
It'll be OK - but not with a sequinned boob tube. Only with a long sequinned top or the full hijab.
Hope this helps.

10:41 am  
Blogger Kerrie said...

hmm, think I will opt for the long top.

12:49 pm  
Blogger Gerald (Hyde DP) said...

learn summat new every day - not come across the expression "camel-toes" before!

BTW It is only "First" buses that have officially stopped issueing tickets for passes - "Stagecoach" still insist on them - while some drivers just wave you on others look grumpy if you don't take the ticket.

9:02 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Kerrie:
Knock em for six babe.

Gerald:
That's why you just love the Internet.
It's a mystery how they allocate the funds.

10:32 am  
Blogger Karen @ If I Could Escape . . . said...

Love it!

Does this mean VPL is allowed? Thank gooddess coz I wear it very well!! Hehe!

7:44 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Sorry Karen:
VPL (the teacher's nightmare) wasn't on the list coz it' just too bad to mention.

3:54 pm  

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