Friday, December 18, 2009

Aversion Therapy.

I must be one of the few people to lose weight over Christmas.

Those pictures of the rich Festive Fayre are not for me.

Photographs of "Taste the Difference assorted mince pies, duck liver pâté with pork sandwiched between two layers of pork pâté de campagne, Camembert and cranberry pastry parcels, Ecclefechan tarts, roast potatoes in goose fat, red cabbage with blueberries and balsamic vinegar, La truffe graisse dole and Norfolk Black turkey" in Sainsbury's festive food booklet just make me long for a nice piece of toast.

So I thought looking at these retro food adverts might have the same effect on you.
You'll thank me when you climb on the scales on New Year's day.

[click for extra aversion]

This is Salad???
It looks like we should serve it with blancmange - does blancmange still exist?

Is this better?

Velveeta ? This looks like the contents of an angler's tin on the canal bank. It's alive.

Do you like peas?

You could always use a tin of Pedigree chum or Whiskas for this one.

IKEA meatballs are served with chips, but BOY-AR-DEE meatballs are accompanied by 2 cubic litres of mash potato.

I always put the weight back on in January - comfort eating pizza and vanilla slices.


Blogger Dave said...

I'm glad I'd finished my breakfast before I read your blog.

8:17 am  
Blogger xl said...

Tuna pizza is like something one would have to eat to get through a fraternity initiation!

8:45 am  
Blogger Gerald (Hyde DP) said...

those meat balls in gravy make me feel sick - and tuna pizza ... and now with this snow I don't feel like shopping.

8:56 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I thought Velveeta was an engine additive. Or is that Valvoline? (Is there a difference!)

9:04 am  
Blogger geraldgee said...

Jello-salad...are they real eyeballs?

9:16 am  
Blogger Steve said...

Give me food plain and simple. A nice roast with the proper veg and a chocolate dessert. You can keep all that Gordon Ramsay-fied fruity syrupy stuff.

And the only thing that should ever be found embedded inside a jelly is a stapler.

9:16 am  
Blogger Roses said...



*tries to control the dry heaves*

No wonder you lose weight over Christmas if you get offered that.

My friend Gee makes a fabulous Parsnip Roulade a la Delia Smith for xmas day. It is to die for (and veggie).

9:28 am  
Blogger Macy said...

Kaz - only 13 days to New Year....any chance of similar aversion therapy for alcohol based DRINKS??

9:29 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

I hope it didn't reappear.
Is it snowing in Norfolk?

I don't think we have fraternity initiation here. Thank goodness.
Is it warm where you are?

You will be so slim after Christmas - if you survive.

I spent years trying to work out what Valvoline was - and where you put it.

The aversion will work better if you think they are.

Knowing your preferences I'm surprised you don't have chocolate sauce on the turkey.
That stapler in jelly still makes me giggle.

Definitely not.
That's what new Year is for.

9:55 am  
Blogger Dave said...

A few inches of snow laying here, but clear blue sky at the moment. Just been out taking photos of garden.

10:01 am  
Blogger Dave said...

Hope all the turkeys to be seen running around here aren't feeling the cold.

10:01 am  
Blogger xl said...

"Is it warm where you are?"

Wednesday was 39c (102f), otherwise very pleasant 24c (75f)-ish. :)

10:10 am  
Blogger UberGrumpy said...

I always thought Velveeta was a yeast infection. Now I'm sure

10:20 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

That parsnip thingy sounds delicious - but I'm a bit hopeless in the kitchen.
My roulade wouldn't roll.

It sounds beautiful - perhaps you'll be tempted to post the pics tomorrow.

I hope those are Norfolk turkeys - they'll soon be piping hot.

24C sounds perfect.
But am I jealous?
You bet I am.

The aversion therapy is working well.
Candida for Christmas dinner?

10:35 am  
Blogger Dave said...

I've posted the pics - on Facebook.

10:40 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

That's cheating - can anyone see?

10:44 am  
Blogger UberGrumpy said...

Nah. I invited her but she already had a better offer

10:46 am  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

I think, like you, I'll stick to the toast and marmalade. . .

(mind you, my cooking doesn't look like it originated in the 50s - what were they thinking?! actually, maybe they weren't thinking)

10:55 am  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

(I think I might show my three these images, then perhaps they'd stop complaining)

10:56 am  
Blogger Rog said...

I'd love to have been Marketing Manager for Boy-Ar-Dee Meatballs.

"Boy-Ar-Dee GREAT!", would be the one I'd go for.

Now I'm off to be sick to make room for a Chees Baked Potato for lunch.

11:16 am  
Blogger Scarlet Blue said...

...I shall have to find the M&S Xmas advert on Youtube as an antidote... and two words: Chocolate Puddings.

12:23 pm  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

Scarlet - I thought it was chocolate knickers!



1:06 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Velveeta, thought it's the name of a celtic oppidum in the North. All these examples of british cuisine ... only the peppermint and the warm beer are missing. And I never before saw this kind of "salad"!

1:19 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

They're fussy these fungi.

I suppose it was the first rush to convenience junk food.

View 2:
Careful - they probably like everything retro.

Eat your heart out Saatchi & Saatchi.
Hope you have oodles of Velveeta on that potato.

What happened to Take That?

Ah - you are quoting Ms Lumley - or possibly Dave?

I think most of these ads are form USA - the Brits were probably much worse.
What could possibly be wrong with warm beer?

1:36 pm  
Blogger MJ said... splooge.

2:27 pm  
Blogger Scarlet Blue said...

Chocolate knickers! Of course - I stand corrected.
...I think Take That got famous again.

2:55 pm  
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3:56 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

Don't really overeat at Christmas unless I'm visiting other people and they put stuff like crisps and chocolates out and I tend to scoff those because I'm nervous.

Those pictures will give me nightmares though, particularly the Jell-o Salads one. Are those eyeballs? Eugh.

3:59 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

It's yellow.
Do they use it for making Poutine?

Yes - but Take That starred in last year's M&S advert with Twiggy Erin & co. Have they got even more famous since?

I did.
I'm a 1960s feminist as well - the genuine original article.

My mum in law always had them in bowls on the coffee table. I ate them to kill the boredom.
Or possibly giant frog spawn.

4:14 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

I have that many peas every evening.

I am the Pea King.

5:06 pm  
Blogger @sarahtitan said...

love your blog!

6:02 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yer teasing me ... arn't you?

6:13 pm  
Blogger Kevin Musgrove said...

gently does it!

6:48 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Mmmmm Velveeta. That's my Xmas meal sorted!

7:00 pm  
Blogger I, Like The View said...

I didn't think much of Fanny's tree!

7:41 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Peaking hell - I hope they're Smedley's.


Do you mean about the warm beer?
If real ale is too cold you can't appreciate the full flavour.

That completed my aversion therapy.
Low fat Ryvita for me.

Happy to help.

But no one can stuff a chicken quite like Fanny.
One fears for Johnny.

8:42 pm  
Blogger dh said...


8:42 pm  
Blogger garfer said...

I had an Ecclefechan Tart once, it required a short detour from where the M6 discovers Jockland.

Was she worth it? You'll have to ask Mr Carlyle.

You must excuse me, I almost drowned in Cockermouth.

9:58 pm  
Blogger Z said...

Have you ever come across James Lilek's Gallery of Regrettable Food? One would never overeat again.

10:03 pm  
Blogger Martin H. said...

A teacher once made an example of me for taking a second helping of trifle, and then being unable to finish it. I was told to stand on my chair whilst the teacher out to the rest of the school that I was a 'greedy boy.' I've never over indulged since.

10:18 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

No more meatballs for you.

Next time you venture south - you must try a Manchester tart.

That's a new one - but I just found it on Amazon and who let me look at a few pages.
What were they all thinking in those days?

Poor you.
We never forget that sort of thing do we?

9:19 am  
Blogger Rosie said...

What? No cheese spray? Cheeze Whizz.

11:52 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Real ale"?

As what?

1:55 pm  
Blogger tony said...

A Festive Toast To You Kaz!

5:02 pm  
Blogger Madame DeFarge said...

Am I the only one who finds these pictures strangely appetising? Or am I just badly brought up?

10:44 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hi Rosie:
I could be wrong - but I don't think cheese spray is retro enough for these ads..

It's in the making.
Real ale uses natural ingredients such as malted barley, hops, yeast and water with none of that bottom-fermenting yeast.

Thanks - I hope that's with marmalade.

It's the Scottish blood.

9:36 am  
Blogger zIggI said...

I quite fancy a chip buttie.

1:15 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Now we are in complete agreement.
No ketchup for me.

4:16 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

(gulp and gasp)

That green jello thingie... Or the maggots on the platter -- was it something about cheese? Sorry, I couldn't pay much attention, busy running to the bathroom.

Thank you, Kaz. That was much needed. Not pleasant, mind you, but needed. (And, after all, it's what aversion therapy is about. :)

8:10 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hello Elizabeth (Any friend of Rog is a friend of mine):
My policy is 'be cruel to be kind'.
So glad you appreciate it.

8:37 pm  
Blogger zIggI said...

Oh no not ketchup, but real melting butter :)

8:43 am  
Blogger xl said...

Hope you have a festive Christmas (with or without these comfort foods)!

10:05 am  
Blogger Kerrie said...

This has not yet put me off my Brussels. However I will be straying no where near the Souper Salad section on the buffet table.
( O.k so if I have had ten G&T's I may try the Blancmange thing. Is Blancmange veggie?

5:04 pm  
Blogger Z said...

I think blancmange is all right, it being made largely of cornflour. Steer clear of junket though, which I seem to remember contain actual digestive juices.

5:13 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Melting butter - yes - the definitive chip buttie.
Move over Nigella.

I shall eat fairly frugally and look forwad to pizza in 2010.
Happy Christmas to you too.

They give vegetables a bad press.
Blancmange is nursery food - but nice.

I haven't seen it in the shops recently - but then I haven't looked.
Junket has rennet - from the stomach of a calf.
Not Scarlet I'm sure.

8:28 am  
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