Thursday, July 19, 2007

An iPod for the Teacher.


When reading the paper, it doesn’t seem to be the atrocities carried out by governments, the outrageous antics of celebs or the lies of politicians that make my jaw fall open unattractively. It’s the rather unspectacular articles like
this one that shock me to the core.

It seems that expensive presents for the teacher are now necessary.


Did I get presents from my inner city lot? Well - yes I suppose I did. Exam classes sometimes had a whip round and presented me with something - box of chocs, bottle of whisky.

These were some memorable gifts.

At the age of 28 I received a ‘Congratulations on your Retirement’ card. The same group had pinched a report form and filled it in for me. The comment for PE was ‘very butch’. Hmmmm.

Doreen and her mates chose this hair set. At the time I had an impressive glossy Dallas hairstyle. ‘Big hair’ was me. The same lot gave me the Far Side mug.


But there’s one gift I will never forget.

A group of girls collected an impressive amount of cash and approached my friend Lesley (their form tutor) - to ask for gift suggestions.

Remember Kaz is a minimalist’ she advised them - ‘I suggest a simple white fruit bowl or possibly an art book - she really loves Henri Matisse‘.



It came in a presentation box . It was a small round mirror with an ornate etched glitter design. Attached to the mirror by suckers were several golden jewelled birds. The girls loved it so much they could hardly bear to part with it.


And No - it wasn’t even kitsch.

KAZ

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19 Comments:

Blogger Murph said...

Where is the Mirror now then?

And surely a minimalist would have small hair, like Mr P. ?

10:48 am  
Blogger Dave G said...

I applaude anyone who chooses Matisse‘ over such contemptables as Cezanne, Henri Matisse‘ at least had skill and could be realistic.

1:05 pm  
Blogger Geoff said...

I hate crawlers. Much better to take the piss.

Unless, of course, it's bullying. Then it's worse than crawling.

We never had any teachers we could have a laugh with. What miserable days they were!

I bet the gift you really wanted was a Roland Gift.

1:39 pm  
Blogger Betty said...

I can remember our form teacher leaving school to move to Wales when we were six. My parents decided to donate a leaving present - a set of pillow cases and sheets that they'd had as a wedding gift in the 1950's and hadn't liked. I got a really heartfelt letter back from the teacher through the post after she'd left saying how lovely the present was and it was more than she'd expected!

Oh dear ...

2:46 pm  
Blogger stitchwort said...

Court staff are not allowed to accept presents (and that lines up with the rest of the Civil Service now the Courts are run by central government), so all we had were the occasional Christmas box of M & S biscuits from a magistrate or from our own boss, or a tin of chocs from one of the staff.
My line manager gave all his staff a bottle of wine at Christmas - even the teetotal ones.

4:01 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Murph:
Ah, the mirror. I gave it away almost immediately to a colleague who said his wife would just love it. She wouldn't.

Even minimalists can be fashion victims.

Dave:
Glad you like Henri too. But he admired Cezanne. Picasso admired Matisse.
Sycophantic lot these artists.

Geoff:
OOOh I'd have even swapped the hairset for a hug of Roland's trunk.
Teachers who can't have a laugh must be sadists or masochists or probably both..

Betty:
Embarrassing - but it's OK cos you were only six.
Thank god I didn’t go near anything under 12.

Stitch:
A bottle of wine for a teetotaller is like a ball of wool for a non knitter.
Line managers eh? Who needs ‘em?

4:55 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Aw how lovely.

I never bought any teacher of mine anything......especially not any chemistry teacher. You did well!

6:34 pm  
Blogger I, like the view said...

I wonder which would have been worse - your mirror, or this

and this is too much like your title to be true!

6:58 pm  
Blogger Gareth said...

we tended to but our teachers whisky. Except for our Lower 6 form tutor he was a bully we didn't get him anything, you could see he was actually taken aback but the lack of even a box of chocs.

7:22 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Nic:
Neither did I - I spent every minute of my education tryng to avoid teachers who always wanted something from me.

That's why I love the funny presents best. They say - Chemistry sucks - so we need a laugh.

View:
I really wish I'd found that second pic for the post - brilliant. And awful.

Gareth:
Whisky - that was my favourite 'sensible' present. I once did a short one year job at a posh boys' school where they bought me apricot Schnapps (Archers) UGH.
Sheer sexism.

Good for you on not buying a present for a bully who expected it.

8:22 pm  
Blogger Gary James said...

The last time I told someone I was a minimalist the bastards didn't get me anything. I had to pretend it was exactly what I wanted too.

10:52 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Gary:
Nothing is good - as long as it's given with leurve.
Dontcha think?

7:58 pm  
Blogger tony said...

knowing my luck, i would spray it in my eyes by mistake& be confident but Blind!

1:29 am  
Blogger liits said...

How the times have changed, one of the evil old child haters who faild to teach us much received a bar of soap and a comb [both of which he needed] for his troubles.

11:58 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Tony
Do you mean like David Blunkett?
Or just blind drunk

Liits:
I take it he wasn't bald ...or amused.

3:41 pm  
Blogger Arabella said...

Our class once gave a teacher a nervous breakdown. All too common, I fear. And not even gift-wrapped.

3:20 am  
Blogger Gareth said...

my sister has apparently spent money on two lots of presents for my nephew and niece's teacher.

I have no idea why especially as one of them seems totally the wrong person to be teaching reception/infant school aged children.

10:04 am  
Anonymous Beki said...

I've seen a glut of 'for my teacher' cards in the shops...but then again there seems to be cards for every occassion these days!

11:35 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Arabella:
Such generosity.
In recent years it's been the administration that's given teachers the breakdowns

Gareth:
The article suggest it's the thing to do.
I suppose it's to keep up with the Jones's - do they say that in Wales?

Hi Beki:
There'll probably soon be a Teachers' day like Mothers' or Fathers'.
Perish the thought. They'll all be counting their cards in the staffroom.

1:13 pm  

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