An iPod for the Teacher.

When reading the paper, it doesn’t seem to be the atrocities carried out by governments, the outrageous antics of celebs or the lies of politicians that make my jaw fall open unattractively. It’s the rather unspectacular articles like this one that shock me to the core.

It seems that expensive presents for the teacher are now necessary.

Did I get presents from my inner city lot? Well - yes I suppose I did. Exam classes sometimes had a whip round and presented me with something - box of chocs, bottle of whisky.

These were some memorable gifts.

At the age of 28 I received a ‘Congratulations on your Retirement’ card. The same group had pinched a report form and filled it in for me. The comment for PE was ‘very butch’. Hmmmm.

Doreen and her mates chose this hair set. At the time I had an impressive glossy Dallas hairstyle. ‘Big hair’ was me. The same lot gave me the Far Side mug.


But there’s one gift I will never forget.

A group of girls collected an impressive amount of cash and approached my friend Lesley (their form tutor) - to ask for gift suggestions.

‘Remember Kaz is a minimalist’ she advised them - ‘I suggest a simple white fruit bowl or possibly an art book - she really loves Henri Matisse‘.



It came in a presentation box . It was a small round mirror with an ornate etched glitter design. Attached to the mirror by suckers were several golden jewelled birds. The girls loved it so much they could hardly bear to part with it.


And No - it wasn’t even kitsch.

KAZ