Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Idle Wanker

Kev doesn't go to work any more.

He hasn't retired - he's not old enough (although he's not quite young enough to qualify for toy boy status).

He just didn't go back to work last Autumn.

Anyway - He's turned idling into an art form.

9a.m. Kev makes cup of tea and takes it back to bed with previous day's Guardian Crossword.

10.15a.m. 3 cups of tea later and crossword is often finished.

10.30 a.m. Listens to Ken Bruce's 'Popmaster' which gives him something to moan about for the rest of the day

11a.m. Has coffee with Kaz - except she's normally gone out by now.

noon: Walks to Gaffa's for 30p Guardian.

Afternoon activities include Soduko/sudoku (?) Evening News word puzzle, playing guitar and sending e mails to the website of a well known Merseyside football team who don't play in red.

6p.m. Starts to cook with glass of red in hand.

Footnote 1:
Yes there is a place called 'IDLE' and they do have a Working Man's Club

Footnote 2:
A recent crossword had the clue 'No stains made by wankers' (8 letters) - hint: it's an anagram.

I WAS SHOCKED! The guardian is such an esteemed organ.

KAZ

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33 Comments:

Blogger garfer said...

Onanists.

You know what I think of Guardian readers. Get the Times, that has a proper rock hard crossword.

9:42 am  
Blogger Murph said...

Drew's self-employed.

10:43 am  
Blogger I, like the view, still said...

according to the pad (of completed, correct puzzles!) next to me, it's "Su Doku"

:-)

10:55 am  
Blogger Dave said...

When I lived (and worked for an Insurance Company) in Kent, not far from the village of Loose, we insured the Women's Institute from that esteemed place.

11:16 am  
Blogger Geoff said...

So Kev's the true idler of the two of you. When performed well, it's an art form.

Kev can stop the emails now. Everton are never going to get Arshavin.

11:29 am  
Blogger MJ said...

All that tea...is he peeing all day?

1:32 pm  
Blogger Old Wom Tigley said...

Lazy good for nowt... hang on a mo.. it could well be old wom tig.. only Jane says I've not got a good .... in me.. ha!.. Well done Kaz.. I laughed at this..

3:38 pm  
Anonymous NiC said...

Is it because the Grauniad is using "wanking" in crossword clues that we are now referring to it it as an esteemed organ (f-nar, snigger, etc).

PS: My Fireyfox on-line spell check wanted me to change "Grauniad" to "Raunchier"......it all makes sense now.

4:28 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

I long to be idle - it's my ambition.

5:54 pm  
Blogger Herge Smith said...

Finally, a club I can join and be a part of... if only I could be arsed.

I think the Guardians great, so full of contradictions, just like most people I know.

6:06 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Garfer:
Naaaar - Times is a piece of cake.
The Independent's the hard one.

Murph:
Is that a doggy double entendre?

View:
Thanks
Kev said he'd never start and now he's addicted.

Dave:
Did you work for Guardian insurance?

Loose Women's Institute - brilliant!
Perhaps I should join the Idle Women's Institute.

Geoff:
Yes - I'm a sort of 'Blue arsed fly idler'.

Correct - but I'm wondering how Ince will go on at Blackburn

mj:
If he can be bothered.

Wom/Tom:
I'm wondering what .... means. I have several ideas which I'll keep to myself.

NiC:
Exactly.
I love spellcheck efforts - that Firefox one obviously has a brain.

Ziggi:
You are far too young to be good at it.
Kev should not be your role model - he could teach a Hovis how to loaf.

Herge:
Ha ha - you have the right attitude.
You'll make an excellent idler when you're a bit older.

Don't let Garfer hear you saying good things about the Guardian.

6:41 pm  
Blogger JoeinVegas said...

You should take the Guardian crossword and fill in some random words in ink and see how he does.
Do you have a spare room? I'd like to come over for a 'short visit'.

7:58 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

I love the idea of just never going back to work.

It's so liberating.

8:17 pm  
Anonymous 'Shot said...

*Sob!*

German 1 - Turkey 1 at the half.

9:09 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Hello Joe:
Very nice to see you - but I'm too idle to have visitors.

Pete:
You get back to work!
You haven't earned the right to idle yet.

'shot:
Strange how there's no time lag when it comes to footy.
The BBC just lost the pictures but they're back again and it's still 1-1.
I just can't bear to watch those penalty shoot outs.

9:19 pm  
Anonymous 'Shot said...

2-1 Deutschland!

9:30 pm  
Anonymous 'Shotsteiger said...

oh my poor heart!

3-2 final with the good guys advancing to the finals.

No penalties for you today, dear Kaz.

9:40 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

OK - Well done!
I wonder who's running the country while Angela's watching the footie?

9:42 pm  
Blogger Roses said...

That sounds like my ideal day off - without the tea though, must have coffee. I wish I could have a year off like that, lucky bugger Kev.

I'd love to live in Idle, or Loose. Sounds far more fun than Norwich.

7:51 am  
Blogger CyberPete said...

You are right, I haven't.

Can't help but wonder what it would be like to have so much money that you didn't need to work. I'd probably get a part time job or start a small home business. To keep busy.

10:45 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

Roses:
I'd choose coffee as well.

Norwich - always maked me smile 'cos i can't help thinking of 'Sale of the Century'.

Pete:
No.
If you were rich you would embrace hedonism and designer shoes.
Wouldn't you?

6:54 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

*blush*

You are right, how well you know me.

7:23 pm  
Anonymous 'Shot said...

Did I miss the answer to the crossword questions?

9:22 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Pete:
Yes.
The clues are in your blog.

'Shot:
Garfer gave the correct answer in the first comment.

Espana?

9:30 pm  
Anonymous Rimshot said...

I fear the Spaniards will trounce my beloved Fatherland in the finals this weekend.

Be assured that I will be watching and hoping against hope for the unlikely incorrectness of my prediction.

They (Spain) certainly looked effective and overpowering against a game Russian side.

11:27 pm  
Blogger CyberPete said...

D'oh!

Oh well, as you can also see on my blog I'm not known for being all that smart.

10:57 am  
Blogger KAZ said...

'Shot:
I suppose you can guess which team I'll be shouting for.
Let's just hope for a good ref.

Pete:
Smart?
Well your English is a damn sight better than my Danish.

12:00 pm  
Blogger Donnnnn said...

I don't have enough patience to do crosswords ergo sudoku is right out the door!

Dammit!
'Moneyshot' is 9 letters.

2:33 pm  
Blogger The Poet Laura-eate said...

Nice work if you can get it!

Alas my bills have the final say in my idling aspirations!

Great piccie of the working mens' club!

3:09 pm  
Blogger ziggi said...

"far too young"
"far too young"
"far too young"
"far too young"
"far too young"

**gloating**

3:39 pm  
Blogger Mopsa said...

Can I have some idle too please?

4:19 pm  
Blogger KAZ said...

Donnnnnnnnnn:
I love doing crosswords on holiday, but sudoku - NO.

Moneyshot? Does that mean what I think it means?

Laura:
(Empathises and Sympathises)

I saw it on 'The One Show' in a progaramme about funny names which included Ramsbottom.

Ziggi:
Let's hope 'Himself' isn't gloating
... touché!

Mopsa:
I read your blog - I don't even think you'd understand the word - let alone how to do it!

4:37 pm  
Blogger Donnnnn said...

Yup!

6:42 pm  

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