Terms of Reference.

I still don't know what to call Kev.

As in 'My ......... lives upstairs or 'My .......... and I?

Anyone over 40 is too old to have a 'boyfriend' and people think 'friend' means Eileen. 'Lover' is too much information and 'partner' sounds like you own an Estate Agent's business together.

I usually settle for 'My Bloke' which seems appropriate for our long term, up and down, on and off relationship.

Anyway - my bloke and I are about to risk 10 days of cohabitation in Spain. So, when all sensible folk are sleeping on Wednesday morning, we shall entrust ourselves to Monarch and Sarfabus.

Ryanair and Terrorvision will bring us back next Sunday.

I bet you're looking forward to the holiday snaps already.

XXX
KAZ

Research shows that ...

In the early hours of Monday morning someone called at my place searching for "Bowie Baldness" I followed the Google links to look for evidence - but found none - so I've tried to oblige with the picture.

However, the search lead me to some recent research from the 'International Journal of Dermatology' which claims that drinking coffee can cure baldness. So Robbie Williams (who drinks 36 double espressos a day) may never win another Brit award ... but he will stay hairy.

The caffeine in coffee blocks the effect of the chemical which damages hair follicles. A German cosmetics firm is developing a caffeine rich ointment to apply to the scalp - just in case David ever needs it.

I’m so pleased that Yul preferred cocoa.

Elsewhere, Dutch researchers have worked out that people like me (thin non smokers) are a seriously heavy burden on the state. We cost much more than fat, pie eating smokers who contribute millions in taxes and die young.

But thin healthy types live on and on and on needing expensive treatment for Alzheimer's and Parkinson's not to mention the cost of the bus pass.

So the next initiative of the nanny state will be to encourage smoking in primary schools and provide free lard on the National Health.

KAZ

Daft Design

So what's wrong with a Billy bookcase? eh?

OK - I know that the IKEA 'simple' self assembly instructions will give you a panic atttack - but Billy is so cheap you can afford to pay an expert to do it.
However if you live in a city loft or a converted aircraft hangar (supervised by Kevin McCloud) you might prefer this:

Or - for the farmer.

Designers just can't help themselves can they?

You'll need a chair to sit down and read the books.

I'm a great fan of excellent design so I'd love a Barcelona chair designed by Mies Van Der Rohe.
You wouldn't find this Le Corbusier classic in the DFS sale Those might impress your guests - but this is more likely to keep the conversation going when the 'Palourdes with Chanterelles' and 'Passion fruit coulis' have been scoffed.
But why have a separate bookcase and chair when you can have them together? Here are the 'must have' shoes for 2008 ....

...... obviously assembled with the help one of those IKEA leaflets

KAZ

Economics

It can be a relief to shop at Asda because you don’t have to fiddle about looking for that loyalty card at the checkout.

At Tesco - you spend £10 or £10.99 and you get 10 points which gives you vouchers for a miserly 10p off your shopping. NO BIG DEAL!

lll But here's how you can do better lll

1: Look out for those ‘special extra points coupons’ which I used to throw in the bin.
Tesco knows everything about you so they usually pick something you like. I never get one for roast hog, disposable nappies or Sunny Delight!
The one above gives 125 extra points - the equivalent of spending a massive £125.

2: Quadruple the value of your points at the Tesco website - £2.50 buys you a £10 voucher for the lovely Cafe Rouge.


3: Don’t overdo it like this bloke who had his cards forcibly removed.

..........

A few years ago Kev said “What do you want for Valentine’s - flowers or a surprise?”

I chose a surprise. The surprise was that he forgot the surprise ... and the flowers.

So this year we’ll go to Cafe Rouge via FOPP where he’ll buy me a CD/DVD of my choice and I will reciprocate.

Oh and we won’t go on Valentine's day itself (YUK!) or tonight because we’re off to Norway.

It’ll be Friday.

Control freak?
Moi??

KAZ

parka

The discussion after the 'Louie Louie' post made me think again of 'Quadrophenia'.
I saw the film when it was released in 1979 and promptly fell in love with Phil Daniels in his parka.

But tell me this - when did parkas stop being 'hard'?

When did they become an essential fashion item for 'ladies who lunch' in Alderley Edge? Surely they aren't trying to look like Liam Gallagher?

According to the oracle the words parka and anorak mean the same thing. But when I think ‘parka’ I imagine the fishtail parka. There are 2 genuine styles - M51 and M65 - the M means military (US army) and the number is the year it was designed...originally for the Korean war.

Parkas aren't confined to bipeds either. There's a style for all my readers.

This is my parka from River Island which I wear every single day when there's an R in the month.

But back to the mods in Quadrophenia.

Sometimes I wish that this last scene had really happened - then we could have avoided seeing Phil and his acting career withering away on East Enders

Go Who..
.

KAZ

Pleasant?

The consultant from the Dental Hospital wrote to my dentist and sent a copy to me.

The Letter started -

Dear Dr. Payne,

Re: Ms KAZ

I assessed this pleasant lady in the department today and I am pleased etc. etc......

Pleasant?

Did she mean Me?

Surely Not - I'm not pleasant!

But I can be quite charming - Oh yes I can ...as long as it's only for about 20 minutes at a time.
Any longer and the muscles in my face get very tired.


I'm good at the brief encounter - the chat on the corridor or over a swift coffee. And if someone seems to find me entertaining I usually avoid them next time as their expectations will be too high.

Nights out with my mates are OK.
They're all talkative types and not much is expected of me. I can throw in the odd witty quip, give a beaming smile and concentrate on not getting too drunk. If I drift off during a long winded tale (which I've usually heard before) no one seems to notice.

At the Dental Hospital chat was not required - just an open mouth.

Otherwise I try to restrict myself to bitesize quanta of social intercourse.
KAZ

Female Chemists

Female chemists are often underappreciated.

I can't think why, as they are all such lovely people.

There's KAZ ....

and ..... MARIE
.... and ..... MAGGIE !!

As Fern Kinney sang

"Can't you see it's the Chemistree

You must agree

Together we are beautful."

KAZ