Spiky-dikey

If you came from a town named after this pic you would have to rise above it.

Agyness did. Remember Agyness - the new Kate Moss - who comes from Ramsbottom in Greater Manchester? Keep up please.

This is Agyness during London Fashion Week. Her hairstyle is known as a Spiky-dikey.Now I'm not very dikey but I am very spikey.

I still can't believe I'm a blonde.

She copied the eyepatch from Dave's photo

Bet you never thought Kaz and Dave would become style icons.

Remember Cameron Diaz's hair gel in 'There's Something About Mary'?


Agyness and me could do with some of that - not so sure about Dave.
KAZ

Dickie and Davey.

I wonder if Dickie and Davey Attenborough have a bit of a sibling rivalry thing going?

They probably do - I mean Dickie never actually became a national treasure did he? He got the knighthood and proved his talent but perhaps he's a bit too much of a luvvie.

I heard that Davey has decided not to venture forth into the great unknown any more. Very sensible - he's at least 90 by now.

But I can't help wishing he'd made the decision before that 'Life in Cold Blood' series.

Why?

As I've mentioned, I suffer from Batrachophobia (fear of amphibians) especially those four letter F words that jump.
Whatever you say about Dickie he gave us 3 hours of amphibian free entertainment in Ghandi.

Now, thanks to Davey, everyone's fallen in love with slimy cold blooded life forms and is dashing into the garden to create tadpole friendly environments.

Charlie Brooker is an arachnophobe who describes his phobia as being 'hardwired into the brain'. He despises friends who state the obvious such as 'It's more scared of you that you are of it'.

YES - we know that - thank you VERY MUCH.

Have you got a phobia?
KAZ

EASTER QUIZ

There are some pictures below.

The first two I took in Manchester yesterday and the rest are shamelessly stolen from t'internet as usual.

Which is the odd one out??

Facetious and Clever dickey answers will be considered.

***************************

The PRIZE is a Do It Yourself VOODOO kit.

I bet you already have a victim in mind. Good luck.

KAZ

FOOD glorious FOOD!!

I went to Manchester Royal Infirmary (as featured on last night's Coronation Street) on Thursday.

Don't worry about me - oh sorry you weren't - anyway, I'm fine except that I wasn't allowed to eat for over 24 hours beforehand.

Now call me a skinny shortarse if you must, but I do love my food. It’s one of my few remaining pleasures.

At 8.00am on Wednesday I was allowed one slice of white bread with a scraping of yellow stuff - NO MARMALADE. Bad news as Marmalade is my favourite food and this is my favourite marmalade. I have a special spoon to get to the bottom.

After feasting on the slice of white bread I survived on a bottle of Lucozade and several cups of black coffee. Oh and a glass of Sauvignon at 9pm.

All day I fantasised about food. I would have sold my granny for a tomato sandwich with Hellmans and black pepper.

I tried to read my current book for a while - ‘Brick Lane’.

Unfortunately on page 127 there's a description ... Monica Ali writes 'Fresh coriander made her swoon for the chicken. The deeply oily aubergine beckoned lasciviously. She wanted to stick her tongue into the velvety dhal.'

Food as sex - That's too much!

In the evening I picked up a magazine and was mysteriously drawn to the cookery pages at the back. Like a lonely sex starved bloke looking at a porno mag who can't touch and can't have but still loves to look , I lusted over the pictures of roasted Mediterranean vegetables, tagliatelle with smoked salmon and cream and almond tart. In my kitchen I found a previously unused cookery book with lovely pictures which kept me drooling until sleep released me from the ordeal.

What would your fantasy food be?

KAZ

WORK

**I am very very angry with Katharine Whitehorn.**

Katharine (Old Kaz to her friends) was 80 last month. By the time I'm as old as her, many of you will be as old as me (Young Kaz to my friends).

She had a column in The Observer for 36 years which was tolerably amusing but you'd never LOL.

So, don't read this interview or you'll get angry as well.

Some advice from Ms Whitehorn:
1: To the young.

"Find out what you like doing best and get someone to pay you for doing it".

Yes - good advice for someone like Katharine who was born with talent, came from a well connected family and went to Roedean and Cambridge.

Not so useful if you like playing computer games, texting your mates, listening to gangsta rap and watching Neighbours?

2: To the old:

"The important thing is to keep working".

And what is Katharine's current job? She’s the agony aunt for Saga magazine.

Nice Work if you can get it.

So - she doesn't have to set the alarm for 6.30 each morning and queue for the bus in the wind and rain for the privilege of scrubbing floors, clearing tables or "inspecting small steel balls at Fischer Bearings Ltd, Wolverhampton, c.1959".

WORK is a four letter word with a million different meanings.

(young) KAZ

TRAMUNTANA!

Kaz's holiday diary -

Wed Feb 27th:
Alarm set for 4am - Earthquake at 1 am. Building shaking from side to side.

Last time it was only a terrorist threat which closed the airport overnight.

Journey to Girona (buses planes and trains and buses) went smoothly.

Thurs Feb 28th:
Scorchio: Blue sky/Sun shining/Spring had sprung.
Put on new sleeveless top - looked terrible so took it off.
Birds singing in Parc naturel.
Wild ponies enjoying sunshine

View from café

Fri Feb 29th:

Weather ditto.

View from bar (Kev's bike)

Sat March 1st
Weather ditto
Colourful local market

Sun March 2nd
Weather ditto
Town full of French weekenders (très chic)

Walk up hill - Sardinian Warblers warbling

Mon March 3rd:
Weather ditto:
Calamares & Paella for lunch

Tues March 4th:
Grey clouds over parc naturel

Black clouds over hills.

Wed March 5th:
Disaster!

!!! Tramuntana !!!

Iberian version of Wuthering heights




Went out - got blown over
Came back and took to the drink


Thurs March 6th:
Tramuntana ditto.
Cancelled drive to France
Did crossword - looked at blue sky through window..

Local TV news showed 'Walking against wind' - Marcel Marceau style

Fri March 7th:
Tramontana ditto
...... but with black sky today.
Señor Heathcliff waved from the hills - then blew away.

Stared at curtains - one upside down - but which one?


Had row with 'bloke'


Sat March 8th:
Tramontana ditto
Ventured out - sat freezing in hide. Ducks fed up.


Sun March 9th:

Journey home via Liverpool to Manchester.

UK WEATHER FORECAST - Gales and storm warnings! Nice.

KAZ
P.S. Thanks for keeping the comments going in my absence - I'm coming over now to see what you've been up to.